My True Identity

Chapter 12

Chapter 12

I woke up the next morning with a wonderful feeling, the kind of feeling you have when you feel like you want to change the world. I jumped out of bed and instead of going to the bathroom I went and stood in front of the mirror on my wardrobe. I examined myself and noted all the things I needed to change for my new me. I went to my wardrobe and dug around until I found what I was looking for. I took out my box which contained a few four hundred pounds or so, I had been saving up this money for emergencies but oh well. I left the money on the table and went to change into a pair of jeans, a plain white tee and a black loose hoodie. I tied my hair into a low ponytail and stashed the money in my back pocket.

“Good morning honey” mum said as if nothing had happened yesterday, as if it was just a really bad nightmare she could just run away from. But no, she couldn’t keep running. The quicker she faced the facts, the better. I glared at her, then my eyes went back to normal: emotionless. I sat down on the table as she placed a plate of toast in front of me. I looked down at my plate in distaste before looking back up at mum eating her breakfast. She gave me a small smile but I rolled my eyes at her pathetic attempts to cheer me up. She had to get over the fact that her sweet daughter would never be the same again no matter how hard she tried. “Father’s dead” I blurted without thinking. She looked taken aback by my sudden outburst. Then I saw an emotion in her eyes which I would be getting a lot from now on: pity. She reached forward to comfort me but I pushed back from the table and headed towards the door. “Don’t wait for me” I said in a cold hard tone. It was shocking how I didn’t even recognise my OWN voice. Well say hello to the new me.

“May I help you?” the nice lady behind the counter asked as I stepped into the salon. I wasn’t really girly and had never been to a salon alone. I looked around uncomfortably not sure how this worked before looking at the lady who was waiting patiently. She had long wavy brown hair and the most beautiful green eyes and looked like she just got out of college. “Um, I want to dye my hair blonde and add black streaks?” I said but it came out more like a question. She smiled politely.

“Ok, that’ll be £110 honey” she answered with a southern drawl. My eyes bulged out of their sockets. “What?!” I asked in shock. She nodded.

“You never been to a salon before?” she asked. It would’ve sounded rude had it not been for the genuinely curious expression. I nodded hesitantly.

“Tell you what, I’ll make it £95 but I can’t go any lower, sorry” she smiled apologetically. I nodded and pulled out the notes stashed in my back jean pocket. I counted £95 and handed it over to her.

Then I went to the seat and put on a cloak like thing. The lady smiled at me before opening my hair and brushing it whilst wetting it with water spray.

After getting my hair done I walked out with my head held high. I had to admit my new hair actually looked really cool. I walked to the shops which displayed black gothic like clothing. I spotted a pair of black studded boots and saw the price tag; it was £25 so I decided to buy it. Then I went to buy some clothes. I bought black hoodies, black jeans and black shirts with all sorts of cute designs. I seriously considered turning into a Goth.

As I was walking back carrying a ton of shopping bags my stomach started to rumble. I groaned loudly attracting the attention of a few passers-by’s who gave me the look of: Are you on crack or do you usually communicate with yourself? I ignored them and dropped my bags to the floor. I searched in my pocket and found that I had £20 left. I grabbed my bags and headed to McDonalds. I hadn’t eaten anything since morning and now it was 4:00. I ordered a ‘McChicken Sandwich’, some chicken nuggets, chips and a large coke. I paid £7.16 at the counter and went to sit at a table. My shoulders and arms hurt carrying all the heavy bags and I wondered how other girls carried their bags wearing high heels. I placed them on the floor and waited patiently.

I was full and satisfied after eating my meal and walked to the nearest bus stop. I was glad to find the next bus to my house was only arriving in 1 mins. I thanked God and waited. When the bus came lots of people got on and I was afraid that I wouldn’t get a seat. However I was proven wrong as many people moved aside and offered me a seat. I was touched by the gesture of the many people in my town. By the time I got off at the bus stop it was very dark and I was afraid of what mum would think.

“Where have you been, young lady?!” mum screamed as I entered the house. I took one look at her and walked past. I didn’t have enough energy to deal with her this moment. My feet had blisters, my back ached and fingers hurt from all the shopping. However my mum grabbed my arm spinning away. “Don’t think you can walk away. I want some answers!!” she fumed. I flinched at her loud volume. I was slightly scared but I covered it well. “What are staring at? Tell me why you’re doing this?!” she asked as my anger ascended to the point where I dropped all my bags to the floor and walked up to my mother. “Just leave ma alone! You have no right to know! It’s MY life, MY choice and MY secret. I decide who I’ll tell and it’s DEFINITELY NOT gonna be you, you witch!” I shouted at her. I saw a few tears cascade down her face but I ignored it as I made a 180 degrees spin, grabbing my bags and heading upstairs. This had been the most I’d said since father’s tragic departure.

As I lay in bed I couldn’t help but feel regret at what I’d said. I groaned. I didn’t want to feel ANYTHING for ANYONE; I wanted to be emotionless so I wouldn’t get hurt. Because if you felt something for someone, then you’d let them in, let them get to you and in the end they could hurt you VERY badly. Since the moment I was born I took advantage of my life, never once gave to charity or appreciated how lucky I was to have both of my parents regardless the abuse. But that girl died with her father and in her place was an emotionless and dark girl who’d never let anyone in. I was becoming a monster, a cold hard witch but I didn’t care.

After my little talk with myself I decided to sort out my closet, I put all my old clothes into a big black plastic bag and replaced them with my new black clothes and shoes. After that I took a good look at myself in the mirror, I like my new hair and it suited me. Just then a thought hit me; I forgot to buy my black accessories. I took out my phone and switched it on; I knew mum would call me after the school asked why I wasn’t in school. I was proved right as I saw 10 missed call, 10 voicemails and 12 messages all asking me where I was. I set a reminder to remind me to buy my accessories for tomorrow. “Dinners ready” mum said knocking on my door. I ignored her and continued listening to loud music. I heard her footsteps retreating and ignored her. A few minutes later she knocked again.

Mum knocked again. “Dinners ready!” she shouted before knocking again. After knocking three times she turned the knob and entered my room. I was crying silently in a corner and she rushed right over. She embraced me in a tight hug and didn’t let go. I cried a river letting all my compressed emotions and problems out. I hated her seeing me so vulnerable and weak after the tough exterior I’d put on but I was weak and breaking down. After I finished crying she pulled away, her eyes showing nothing but concern. “Are you alright, love?” she asked me and I nodded. She stroked my newly dyed hair and kissed my forehead. “Ok, now come down for dinner” she said.

“I’ve already ate” I replied. She nodded

“Well, goodnight then. Sweet dreams, I love you” she said and what I didn’t know was that this was the last time she’d say those last three words to me. 

Hello, hello my lovely readers! *gives you all a yummy chocolate bar* ;)  How you doing? I hope you enjoyed this chapter, I started writing it randomly and was gonna upload later but got really caught up in it and decided to finish it and upload it. What do you think of Selena's new identity? Do you think it's her 'true identity'? Anyways please vote/comment/fan, all feedback is very appreciated.