My True Identity

Chapter 21

Warning: contains some swearing

Chapter 21

It was 4:00 and I was lying in my bed fully awake. My heart was beating frantically in my chest and I felt so overwhelmed. Thirst was thick in my throat but not thirst for water…….thirst for something unexplainable. I tried to slow down my breathing and calm down but it seemed like an impossible task. My thoughts ran to Reagan suddenly and I suddenly felt the urge to call her. After moments of struggling I finally grabbed hold of my phone and scanned my contact list until I reached the number I was in search of. I took in a shaky breath and pressed call, pressing my phone to my ear to hear it wrong. After three rings Reagan picked up “Can’t sleep?” she asked me straight away. I had expected her to groan or speak in a sleep voice but she seemed really happy and energetic. “Yh….” I answered. I could hear her sigh. I couldn’t believe I was actually asking her this but I was not feeling like myself at all lately. “Do…….do you have something……..” I began but she finished for me.

“To help you sleep?” she asked. I nodded but then realized she couldn’t see me.

“Yes please” I replied sighing. I could hear her shuffling through some things before she spoke again “Yh, I have some drugs but…..nothing helps like a ciggie” I groaned. I was debating whether to go ahead with this; I’d never smoke before and knew I shouldn’t start now. I knew of all the problems related with it. But there was this tiny voice inside my head which said otherwise Do it! Do it! One ciggie won’t kill you….infact it can help you, it argued. “Alright fine” I sighed. I could just imagine her grinning from ear to ear.

“Ok, meet me near the old warehouse in 10 minutes” she said ending the phone call.

Thankfully mum was snoring loudly in her bed and I didn’t need to go anywhere near her room because of my heightened hearing. I snuck downstairs, grabbed my coat, scarf and shoes and opened the door. I checked to see my phone and keys were in my pocket before locking the door and walking down the street. The sky was fairly black and the main light source was the moon. I had always loved watching the moon from my bedroom window; it gave me a sense of peace and calm. It also made it feel as if I was not alone because I knew that there were many others out there staring at the same moon and stuck in situations similar or maybe even worse than mines. A soft breeze caressed my skin and ruffled my hair as if accepting me into the night. In that one moment I realized how much my life had changed in a matter of months. If you had told me that I would be sneaking out late at night to smoke a ciggie or would start dressing in all black I would’ve laughed my socks off and thought you were the craziest person to walk this earth. But now? Now it all seemed ordinary and a part of what has become of my life.

As I approached the old warehouse I could hear voices coming from the other side and I made my way towards the source of noise. I spotted a blob of black with specks of red and knew straight away it was Reagan Lindsay. “Hey, uh, Reagan?” I asked walking forward. She turned around and greeted me with a smirk. “Knew you’d come” I rolled my eyes as she took out a packet of cigarettes from her jean pocket. She was wearing an oversized black hoodie with the shortest skirt I’d ever seen. In fact it was so petite that it easily resembled a belt. She turned her back and started talking to this guy. I scanned the area and saw a couple of girls and guys all a few older than me with at least one piercing. My eyes landed on a boy reading on his phone, he looked kind of cute. He had his shaggy black hair hidden underneath the hood of his dark black hoodie but some of it hung forward partially covering one eye. He was wearing skinny jeans which hung low on his small waist. My eyes landed back on his face and I noticed his silver lip piercing which shone out in the dark. Just then I imagined feeling his lip piercing and his soft tiny lips. Oh no no! No more guys, I already have a lot of guy problems I thought but it all vanished when he looked up as if feeling my gaze. Everything vanished as I stared into those dark bottomless eyes which held so much mystery and meaning and seemed to see through my soul. Just then he smirked and I blushed quickly looking away. Reagan returned with a lighter and handed me a cigarette, lighting one end. She looked at me as if waiting to smoke but I didn’t know how. “Let me guess you don’t know how?” she asked me. I nodded blushing once again.