No Shame (Book 2 - No Regrets)

ALTERNATE: Chapter Forty-Two - Not a Fairytale

KATIE'S POV

Jena and I retire to her bedroom after the movie ends. We listen to music and talk until fatigue overtakes both of us. Sleep comes easily but does stay. I find myself waking up an hour later feeling wide-awake. Followed by twenty minutes of battling to fall back to sleep. Meanwhile, Jena sleeps heavily, her breathing rhymically deep and slow.

Once I accept that I can't will myself back to sleep, I grab my phone. I scroll on my phone, intending to wait out this random burst of energy. However, an hour passes with little change to my energy level. I let out a sigh of defeat as I set my phone back down. Jena suddenly stirs slightly, letting out a little groan as she turns over. I spend a couple more minutes trying to will myself back to sleep before I surrender.

I get out of the bed, careful not to disturb Jena; and carefully and quietly make my way out of the room. The rest of the house is silent, except for the hum of heated air as it passes through the vents. I make my way downstairs to the living room, I carefully manuver through the storage bins of toys that Jena's mom left in the middle of the room when she was sorting through them yesterday. I take a seat on the couch, curling my knees up beside me. Against my better judgement, I pull up Amber's social media profile. This isn't the first or even second time I have pulled up her post with Christopher. My eyes study the photo and mind runs wild with analyzing the smallest details. The physical proximity of Amber and Christopher. They must be comfortable around one another. The ice cream, in the photo Christopher has mint-green ice cream, even though his favorite has always been cheesecake and caramel. He must like her a lot to be willing to try something new. The smiles on their faces. They seem genuine, which means he really enjoys her company. I set my phone down on my lap and hold my head in my hands. You're going crazy, get those thoughts out of your head. Stop it! I shake my head in hopes of shaking some sense into it.

"Okay Katie." I whisper to myself. "You're not in middle school, you are too mature for this. Just talk to him." I pick my phone back up and start composing a text message to Christopher.

"Hey Christopher, I know it's really late, actually it's early technically, anyways I know we haven't talked a lot. That's my fault. I know. I just really miss you, talking with you and hanging out. I saw Amber's post and" I stop myself. "You sound like a stalker." I tell myself as I erase the message.

I take a deep breath and start on a new one. "Hi Christopher, I am sorry for everything that's happened. I wish things could be like how they used to be. I would have never dated Sawyer if I had any idea this would be the outcome." I groan with embarrassment as I erase the text. "Yeah, good idea to bring up his cousin." I mutter to myself.

I begin to type another message, "I miss you. I'm sorry, I have been a butt-head. Please still be my frien-" I drop my phone on lap and throw my hands up in defeat. "Nope. Nope. No." I say. I erase the text message and lock my phone. I close my eyes and lean my head back against the back of the couch.

"Katie?" A deep voice says right as a small bright light turns on. My heart stops and I let out a loud strangled shriek of surprise. I cover my mouth to muffle the sound. "Oh sorry." Garret says, he turns the flashlight off of his phone. "I thought I heard someone down here."

"It's fine, I think I died a little." I say pressing my hand against my chest. I can't even feel my heartbeat. "Holy- I'm certainly awake now."

Garret lets out a chuckle, it's lower than usual, probably he's still waking up. "My apologies again. Is Jena down here with you?" He asks.

"No. She's still sleeping. I couldn't sleep and didn't want to risk waking her up." I answer.

"Good call." Garret says. "Jena is a grouchy riser."