No Shame (Book 2 - No Regrets)

Chapter Fifty-Three - Lifeline

MARCH 2016
ONE YEAR AGO

KATIE'S POV

My feet dangle over the edge of the dock, lightly dancing along the lake's surface that has been warmed by the mid-afternoon sun. I feel a strong urge to jump off the deck and plunge into the cool-water I know lays a few inches below the surface. Despite still being in the first quarter of the year, the temperature this afternoon is unusually warm. Hence, why multiple families, including the Gribes family, have decided to spend a day on the lake. 

Christopher had called me earlier to invite me to join the Gribes family on their impromptu visit to the lake. An old family-friend of the Gribes' family owns a couple lakehouses located nearly an hour's drive out from the suburbs I call home. If and when one of the lakehouses is vaccant, the Gribes are more than welcome to take advantage of the opportunity. According to what Christopher told me on the way to the lakehouse, the friendship between the landlords of the property and the Gribes goes all the way back to Sawyer and Christopher's grandparents.

Christopher, who used to merely be an acquaintance, a mutual connection of Sawyer and I 's, has become my closest friend. After all he did, not only for my family but myself as well, how could I not become his friend?

I feel the dock rocks slightly before I hear the approaching footsteps. When I look over my shoulder, I find Sawyer approaching with two red popsicles in hand. The warmth in his smile surpasses even that of the sun. "Here." He says holding one of the popsicles our to me.

"Thanks." I say accepting the cold-treat.

"Are you having fun?" Sawyer asks as he takes a seat next to me. He holds his hand out in front of me.

I consider his hand for a moment. Sawyer lets out a little nervous chuckle, "It's for the plastic wrapper. When you remove it, I'll take it to throw away."

"Oh, right." I say, I make quick work freeing the popsicle from it's clear wrapper. I place the clear-plastic into Sawyer's awaiting hand. From the corner of my eye, I see the tips of Sawyer's ears have turned red. I stick my popsicle in my mouth also feeling a bit embarrassed. The sweet fruit-flavor along with the refreshing ice cold chill turn out to be exactly what I need.

When Sawyer's looking out at the water, I sneak a few glances. My heart still skips a beat and my stomach still fills with fluttering butterflies when I'm around him. I still look at him as if he is the brightest star shining in the sky. My thoughts and affections towards him have not changed, they have not lessened, but they have also not increased or becoming more intense. In silent patience, he still awaits my answer. To avoid making me feel pressured, he does not speak of his affections for me nor has he asked me out again. Yet, I can feel his affections with every glance, every time his fingers brushes against my skin, and every time he speaks my name. I know I can be happy with Sawyer, he is a good guy, with the makings to be a great man someday. Neither my parents nor Dominick have any objections to Sawyer, both Sawyer's own efforts to make amends and time have cleansed him of his past sins. Neither Sawyer's parents nor siblings seem to have any objections to me. Logically, there is nothing that should be holding me back; and yet, it is the very illogical matter of the heart that holds me back.

To say Sawyer is the focus of all my affections and thoughts, would be a grievous lie. Time has not only allowed for Sawyer to be forgiven and redeemed. Time has allowed for my eyes and heart to see another differently. Christopher, the very person who has nurtured Sawyer and I's budding romance more than anyone else, the person who has become closest to me, is also the one who is now dearest to me.