No Shame (Book 2 - No Regrets)

Chapter Forty-Nine - When You Love Someone

DOMINICK'S POV

My night was spent mostly on the couch, staring up at the ceiling, scanning through my memories for hints I had missed. Tyde is a logical person, she wouldn't have made a rash decision. She would have taken, at least, a week to think her decision through. Looking back, there were signs that she was unhappy and indications that she was pulling away. I missed them all. I have never been very perceptive, especially when it involves those closest to me.

Nikki teased me relentlessly for it, she'd poke my head and say, "The gears don't turn very much in there, so they?" Back then, I would get annoyed, I thought I understood her better than anyone else. However, ever since the day, four years ago, when we broke up, I wonder if I really knew her at all. Despite reassurances from those around me, I can't escape the crushing guilt or anger toward myself for Nikki's death. Not even Aria's continually reassurances can lessen those feelings. What if I hadn't have believed Nikki that day? What if I held her closer, held her tighter? Could I have saved her before she slipped too far? Those are the questions that torment me, every time my thoughts are allowed to venture so far.

Tyde, though, I have always known I couldn't completely understand her. Not the way Linkon does. Not the way I want to. Tyde knew too, she knew there would be parts of myself, she wouldn't understand. We entered the relationship fully knowledgeable that there would be parts of ourselves that we may never share with the other. Yet, I love her immensely regardless of the fact, that I love her for all she is; and I know she loves me the same. Naively, I believed that might be enough.

  Eventually the cocktail of physical and mental exhaustion force me to get a couple hours of sleep. Only to be ended by the sudden weight of a three-year old climbing on to me. "Good morning, Mollie." I say groggily. Soon, I become aware of the scent of freshly-brewed coffee floating through the air.

"Time for breakfast." Mollie says, folding her arms and legs beneath her and resting her chin on the center of my chest. Her tangled mess of brown hair falling in front of her green eyes.

"Can't be late for that." I say as I begin to stretch my arms, I let out a yawn then a little groan. "Okay, I'm getting up."

Mollie climbs off of me and runs back to the kitchen. I enter a minute later, Tyde sets a bowl of cereal in front of Mollie. Our eyes briefly meet before she walks over to the coffee machine. "Dominick, coffee?" She asks.

"Definitely. Didn't get much sleep." I answer.

"Same." Tyde says, she takes two cups from the cupboard and fills both with coffee. She walks over to the table, handing me a cup before taking a seat next to Mollie.

"I'm going in to work a half-day, I'll come back after lunch and collect some of my stuff." Tyde says, her eyes unfocused and distant. "Don't know if you'd want to meet afterwards to talk about the other details." She glances toward Mollie.

I don't respond immediately, I take a seat on the other side of Mollie. I inhale the strong scent of the coffee and let out a slow exhale before taking a sip. "I'll still be on campus until about two o'clock but I can meet up after that. I'll see if Aria or my parents can do pickup."

"Okay." Tyde says. "Want to meet back here or grab a cup of coffee?"

I shrug my shoulders, "You tell me, you're leading the way on this."

"Let's get a cup of coffee then." Tyde says.

"Can I go?" Mollie asks entering the conversation. "I go and get a cookie?"

  Tyde gently laughs, she reaches out and affectionately runs her fingers through Mollie's hair. "You can't join us this time, but," she looks over toward me with a convincing smile on her face, "I bet your daddy will bring you home one, if you ask nicely."