No Shame (Book 2 - No Regrets)

TRIGGER FREE: Prolouge

This is the alternate-version of the prologue

PRESENT DAY

KATIE'S POV

  Should have grabbed a jacket. The air blows cold tonight, the leaves scrap against the concrete street as they dance in the wind. I should go home. My parents undoubtedly have noticed I'm gone and found my bike missing from the driveway.

Despite how the situation may appear, I'm not running away. I'm going to go back... just not yet. I'm getting away is all, for a few hours. That's all I need. A few hours. Time to let my lungs fill with air before I dive back into the ocean of my new reality.

Forgot to grab my cellphone on my way out, I should get up and walk over toward the convenient store with the pay phone outside. My legs don't move. I stay seated on the ground of an alleyway with my back against the brick building, an apartment complex in progress. Cars have driven by on the street and people walk past on the sidewalk, none of them notice me.

I cup my hands and breath into them. Get back home. I tell myself. You should never have done this. Mom and Dad will probably, if they don't already, have everyone out looking for me.

I can't act like this. Dominick will undoubtedly be pissed off  at me when I get back. I'll get grounded. The keys to my bike will get locked away for the next few months. Worse of all, the look in my parents' eyes when they look at me. That look, a mixture of disappointment, anger, and sadness.

  Enough of this. I push myself up, leaning against the wall a bit. I go over to my bike. I'm mounting my bike when I hear a car approaching on the street. I hear the screech of the brakes as it slows down. I see the light from the headlights as the car gets closer. I tense, I don't need to turn around because I know who it is already. Before they even get out of the car.

The headlights turn off, I look over my shoulder. "Katie, are you trying to get murdered?!" Christopher yells at me as he gets out of the car. He slams his car door shut and walks towards me. "You have your parents and brother going mental."

"I'm sorry." I say in a voice almost a whisper. I kick out the kickstand and lean my bike.

"You have Sawyer dri-" Christopher stops talking. "Katie, what happened? What's wrong?"

"Nothing." I reply, my back is turned to him still. I look down the street and then up at the sky. "How is it that you were the only person who found me?" I ask.

"Katie, I'm getting worried." I hear the soft crunch of shoes against the pavement. I can feel the warmth coming from Christopher's hand towards my arm. I move away from him, crossing my arms on my chest.

"I'm being stupid, reckless, and thinking of no one else but myself is all." I reply walking a bit forward.

Christopher lets out a frustrated sigh, "Katie, that excuse won't work this time. Please Katie, turn to look at me. Talk to me." He says.

"What is there to talk about?" I ask. My voice cracks.

"A lot." Christopher says. I feel the warmth again from his hand and once again, I don't let myself move away immediately. When his skin touches mines, a sensation runs through me. I try to ignore it. "Katie..." Christopher starts.

I meet his eyes and I wish that I hadn't. "Stop." I say, I take his hand off my arm. I go back to my bike, I reach for my helmet but Christopher gets to it first. He places his hand on top of it, I drop my hand to my side.

He lets out a deep sigh, "Why are you acting this way?" He asks. "And does it have to do with-"

I stop him, "This is who I am now, I'm sorry I'm not Nice-Obedient Katie." I snap. I push his hand away and take the helmet into my hands, but I don't put it on my head. My vision starts to blur as tears form. "If you can't accept me for who I am, then get the hell out of my life. I don't even want you around." Please don't go.

Christopher doesn't say anything at first, I turn my head away to let the heavy tears fall from my eyes. I don't want his pity, I don't need it. "If that's how you feel, Katie," Christopher starts. My heart starts to sink, the next words will be a goodbye. "Then suck it up, because I'm not going anywhere until you talk to me."

My eyes widen and I met his eyes. The second I do, my shoulders begin to shake and my breath quickens. I drop my helmet to the ground. I place my hand on my bike's seat for balance as I lower myself to the ground. "I- i- i-" I start to hyperventilate. My vision is blurred and my head is a mess.

Christopher is kneeling on the ground in front of me, his hands on my shoulders. "Breathe." He says. "You're going to make yourself sick, breathe. Nice and steady." He inhales and exhales, he repeats this until I begin to mimic him. Once my breathing calms a bit, I realize how exhausted I am. Too exhausted to try to move Christopher's hands from my shoulders.

"Can you talk now?" Christopher asks.

I barely nod my head.

"Do you want me to ask questions or do you want to take the lead, how do you want this to happen?" Christopher asks.

I don't reply instantly. Christopher takes a moment to think before he starts to ask, "Does it have anything to do with-"

The three words come out in a voice barely louder than a whisper. The words I had been dying to let say to someone. The ones that are only a part of a story that I have told myself no one will believe.

Christopher's expression as the words register, the way it changes. And suddenly, I'm dying to take the words back.

This is not a story I want to tell, but I no longer have a choice.

***AUTHOR'S NOTE***

This story deals with a darker subject matter, I am going to do my very best to keep the story as trigger-safe as possible. This means making chapters like this one have a twin/partner, which as I discussed before, will be as safe as I can make it.

Welcome back, have you missed the characters?

Are you ready for the sequel to begin?

Like the first book, the prologue is present day, but the first chapter will take place in the past and the story will build up/come to meet this point.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING! I HOPE YOU ENJOYED (and enjoy this book)!