No Shame (Book 2 - No Regrets)

Chapter Fourteen - Past Coming Back to Bite

KATIE'S POV

   Stop freaking out! I order myself. You don't know what it says yet.

 I pace around my room, staring at the screen of my laptop. He replied to my email. He actually replied! I have thought of this moment ever since I decided to attempt to contact him; but I am still finding myself horribly unprepared. 

 There are a million thoughts running through my mind, possibilities of what the email says. I stop pacing, take in a quick breath, and click open the email. No turning back. I lean in closer to read the email. My hands gripping on to the edge of my desk, my heart pounding, as my mind begins to process the words on the screen. 

 My email consisted of a few basics, explaining who I was, why I was contacting him, and that I wanted nothing from him. All I am interested in is possibly getting to know him better.

"Hello Katie, yes I am Cason Aplin."  His reply starts. "I apologize for the delay in returning your email. I must admit I was quite shocked to hear from you. I am glad to hear that you are doing well." The email is not too long, a few short-paragraphs at most, ending with the words, "Thank you for reaching out, hope to keep in touch."

  I had prepared myself for him to be the complete d*uchbag Dominick has often described him to be. That I realize, I never really prepared myself for him to be, at most, an "okay" guy, one who might actually want to keep in contact. I re-read the email two more times, still trying to completely wrap my mind around the words. 

 Now that I know I have found him and have received a reply, there are so many questions my mind is burning to have answers to.

Who was my biological mother? 

How did they meet? 

Did he love her or was she merely a fling? 

Do I have any more half-siblings? Does he ever think about Dominick? 

And millions more. 

  However, despite the burning urge to flood him with questions, I decide it is best to wait a little while before replying. I close the email and shut my laptop. I fling myself on to my bed, laying down on my back staring up at my ceiling. He actually replied. I still can't wrap my mind around the fact. I stretch my arm and grab my phone from my bedside table, I start to type a message to Dominick to tell him; but I stop. I can't tell him. He told me not to, I highly doubt he'll suddenly have a change of heart. 

 I could always text Christopher. If anyone should be notified, might as well be the person who helped me find the man. Or I could text Sawyer, I'd hope Sawyer would tell me if something so big happened in his life before telling my cousin. 

 However, I do not even know what I would say. One can not simply text "Hello. Found my biological father." I let out a breath I realize I was holding in and set my phone down beside me in bed. 

 There is no major need to tell people. At least, not right away, not while I am still trying to think of the words to say. Besides, the first people I should tell should be Mom and Dad... even though I already know what they would have to say. First, they would interrogate me, asking me how I even found him in the first place, then they would lecture me about internet-safety, and eventually, Dominick would find out; and Dominick's reaction is the very one I am dreading. 

 What have I gotten myself into?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  "Katie, don't slouch." Mom says walking into the kitchen with the mail. I straighten my posture as I continue to stir the pasta cooking in the boiling water. 

"I am making tortellini, we have leftover basil-pesto in the fridge." I say to her. 

"Sounds delicious." Mom says. "But I am stuffed, I had a big lunch." she says. She sets the mail on the kitchen table and walks over, she gives me a kiss on the top of my head. "Thank you though for making dinner." 

 I smile, "No problem, more pasta for me." I say. I set the wooden spoon on the counter and walk over the fridge to take out the leftover pesto. I peel back the aluminum foil on the top of the ceramic bowl before placing the bowl in the microwave. I push in the proper cook time. "Reminder, I have a home-game next Tuesday." I say. 

 Mom smiles at me, "Dad and I will be there." She grabs a pen out of the pencil holder next to the coffee maker. She scribbles the words "Katie's game" on the calendar for next Tuesday. I smile back at her, "I'll let coach now so she can set aside the tickets."

"Do I need to give you any money for them?" Mom asks as she walks over to get her purse.

 I shake my head, "No. Remember, I get four free tickets a season." I say. Since neither my parents nor Dominick have gone to one of my basketball games this season, that means I still have four free tickets. 

"Oh right." Mom says, I can clearly see she still does not remember. "I am going to lay down, love you. If you need anything, I am upstairs." she says.

"Okay, Mom." I say with a smile. I wait till she leaves the room before letting out a sigh and slouching against the counter. Another dinner alone, fourth one in a row. Dad is working late and Mom is exhausted from work. I pick up my phone and send Sawyer a text, asking if he is free to talk. 

 He replies a couple minutes later, "Sorry, busy with homework. Talk later?"

"Sure. Good luck." I respond. I set my phone back down at the counter. 

  I should be used to all of this by now, being alone at home most of the time, and even if I'm not alone being lonely. This is how life was for me when Dominick was a teenager before Mollie; and how life has been since he moved out. Yet, no matter how much experience I have, the loneliness still stings all the same. 

***AUTHOR NOTE***

Thank you very much for your continued patience, as promised/spoken of, here is the first part of the chapter bundle (1/3 chapters) - my way of showing my appreciation to all of you -. . Please forgive any spelling/grammatical errors, I will fix them when I have the time.

 I want to thank you again and also ask you forgiveness, I had wanted this chapter bundle to be bigger/more. However, due to unexpected events during the months of June-August, I did not get much writing done; and now I am attending school full-time, working 3 jobs, and attending to other matters. I am still be working on it, but forgive my slow-pace. 

THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR READING! I HOPE YOU ENJOYED!

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