No Shame (Book 2 - No Regrets)

Chapter Sixty-Two - Not One

KATIE'S POV

None of the girls bring up what happened at the movies, and for that I am grateful. However, at the same time, I wish they would talk about it; and state the obvious. Jena shouldn't have brought Sawyer. Not because I care who he dates, but because she knew how turbulent Sawyer and I are. She knew better than anyone, no one can deny she knew better.

Sawyer texted me later that night, both apologizing and asking if we could talk on the phone. I responded by not responding at all.

Christopher didn't reach out either that night or the next day, or any of the days that followed, he knew better than to try. Even on the first day of school, when I walked into my fourth period class and our eyes met, he didn't say a word to me. He didn't gesture to the empty desk next to him or raise his hand in a wave. I should have been grateful for that, my wishes were being respected and he was keeping to his word. I should have been, but I wasn't.

  Throughout the class, my focus kept moving from the teacher's introduction to mustering up the courage to approach Christopher after class. I have one last order of business with him to fully severe our connection to each other. When class was dismissed, all the courage I had built up fled from my body and I couldn't bring myself to approach him. I couldn't even bring myself to raise my head to look at him as he walked out of the classroom.

~~~~~~~

Heading to the last class of the day, I make my way past people stopped at their lockers and weave around people too caught up in their conversations to walk above a snail's pace. At the end of the hallway as I turn, I catch sight of a familiar face. Sawyer walks in the opposite direction, he's too busy looking at his phone to notice me. I catch a whiff of his cologne as we pass one another.

While turning the corner, I nearly collide with the person on the other side. Fortunately, both of us are quick to stop. "I'm sorry." We say in unison.

"Oh, hey Katie." Evan, who recognizes me quicker than I him, says. His hair is grown out to his shoulders and he has a nice summer tan.

"Hi Evan." I say, my heart still pounding from the sudden rush of adrenaline that ran through me when we nearly collided. "What are you going here, I thought you graduated." I ask.

"Yeah, I did. Needed to pick up my transcript and decided to take a walk down memory lane."

"Oh, cool. I'm heading to my last class."

"Cool." Evan says. "Well, have a good day." He starts to walk away.

"Wait." I exclaim as an idea comes to my mind. I spin of my heel and hastily cover a few feet of the distance between us. "Can I ask you a favor?"

"You can ask, but I can't guarantee anything." Evan says with a light chuckle.

  I set my backpack down and open the large compartment. I only have to fish around for a couple moments before I find the two objects. I pull out the rectangular jewelry boxes, one holding the necklace I'd received from Sawyer those years ago and the other the charm Christopher gifted to me. "Can you please return these for me? The necklace goes back to Sawyer and the charm goes to Christopher." I ask holding out the boxes.

   Evan's expression changes, he looks at the boxes and back at me. "I'm not sure I can, I'm sorry."

"I apologize, I imagine it would be an inconvenience to have to seek them out. Even you giving them to Zeke and let him return them, would be greatly appreciated." I say still holding out the boxes.

Evan lets out a sigh, he puts his hands in his pocket, "I guess Christopher and you really haven't been talking this summer, I didn't believe it to be true at first but now." He takes a couple steps toward me, "Zeke is the exact reason I don't think I can, he and I broke up over the summer."

"Oh... wow... I'm sorry." I say.

He takes the boxes from my hands, giving them a light shake. "Don't be, it was for the best. Neither of us were happy. I'm sure you can relate."

"Yeah, I guess I can." Evan hands me the boxes back.

"Sorry I can't be more help." He puts a hand in his pocket. "Why don't you just sell the jewelry?"

"I don't know." I answer, a lie. I did think about selling the jewelry, as well as throwing them in the trash, throwing them in a lake, and many other disposal methods. However, the longer I considered the other options, the less I felt I'd be able to get the closure I need. I'm not even certain that returning the jewelry to Sawyer and Christopher would give me that closure. However, at least the final outcome is out of my hands. They can sell the jewelry, throw it trash or a lack, or melt it, whatever they want.

"Alright, have a good one." Evan says walking off.

Evan's remark to my sympathies plays in my head as the teacher goes through their introduction slideshow and discusses the syllabus.

"Neither of us were happy. I'm sure you can relate" Perhaps the version of Evan and Zeke's relationship I saw was a great facade, a very convincing lie. While the two didn't make grand displays nor declarations of their affection, they really did happy. I remember being envious of how happy and comfortable they were. No one who saw the two of them together could question their love. I was desperate to have that, to not feel I needed to continually confirm both of us were happy.

Perhaps Zeke and Evan fooled everyone except themselves... I don't believe that, but what do I know?

  Evan was right, neither Sawyer and I were happy, we did our best to be though. We almost fooled ourselves.

***AUTHOR'S NOTE***

My sleep deprived state is currently running off of stress and caffeine. I need sleep, I can't fall asleep because (as mentioned before) I am filled with caffeine.

Therefore, in the interest of procrastinating sleep. I write.

Evan and Zeke broke up, the reasoning and a deeper look into the Gribes's family dynamic coming soon.

Thank you everyone for their kindness and patience.

THANK YOU FOR READING! I HOPE YOU ENJOYED!

VOTE, COMMENT, FOLLOW, do whatever you want. :)