Mine

Chapter 10

A/N: Music Optional like usual but I like It
Mer's POV:
I smile seeing Derek sitting in a chair and doing charts. As though he can sense me, his eyes move to meet mine. The deep blue relaxes me and I smile.
"Long day." He sighs as he puts his laptop in his bag.
"Somewhere out there is a steak with your name on it. And maybe a bottle of wine." He smiles as he zips his bag.
"This is why I keep you around." I smile as I place my bag between my legs.
"So we need to talk." He says getting up.
Was he going to tell me about why he had a panic attack in the on-call room?
"Wine first, talk later." I joke as I pull my jacket around my own body.
"I see, you're trying to get me drunk so you can take advantage of me again." He laughs putting on his black jacket.
"I think I like dating you." I smile.
"Me too." He laughs and turns back to me.
His hands fix my jacket and I smile as his hands pull my hair out of my jacket. He turns while grabbing his bag. I smile and stop as he freezes. He is looking at beautiful woman on the other side of the lobby. He turns back to me and caresses the back of my hand with his thumb. I meet his eyes and feel my stomach twist. Something is wrong. His face is etched with a look of panic as he takes breaths through his mouth.
"Meredith, I am so so sorry." He says breathlessly.
I feel my eyebrows raise as he turns to the woman who is walking towards us.
"Addison. What are you doing here?" He asks.
I look at the woman as I pull my hand out of Derek's hand.
"You would know if you had bothered to answer any one of my phone calls." Her voice echos in my ears.
I study her features. Her thick red hair shines and her eyes were an intimidating greenish-grey.
"Hi." She said looking at me and holding out her hand.
I take her hand and her fingers dig into mine softly.
"I'm Addison Shepherd." She says.
I sigh imagining the best. This is probably one of Derek's sisters. I sigh but decide to question it.
"Shepherd?" I ask the both of them.
Her hand leaves mine and I let it fall back to my side.
"And you must be the woman who's been screwing my husband." She says pointing at me then Derek.
Immediately a tear falls from my eye and I feel uncomfortable. I meet Derek's eyes and ask him for the truth in-verbally. He doesn't correct Addison and I feel sick. As though someone is ripping my insides. I feel his hand reach out and hold mine. As much as I normally love his touch, it feels cold now. I'm all out of faith and feel tears starting to appear on my eyes.
"Mer?" He asks.
I pull my hand from his grip and turn around. I sigh and walk away from him, not bothering to turn around. I could feel myself getting closer to having a breakdown. Wiping my tears, I run out of the hospital and into Joe's Bar.
"Tequila." I say.
The bartender nods and places a shot of tequila on the counter as I take off my jacket. He attends other people as I set my jacket on the barstool and sit on it. I down the shot. The liquid burns the back of my throat as I swallow it. I motion for another and drink it trying to fill the hole in me.
It does absolutely nothing but make me buzzed. Derek has a wife. I frown as I set my third shot glass upside down.
"You look familiar. Have you been here before?" The bartender asks pouring my a fourth shot.
"Once. That worked out really well." I say sarcastically.
"I know that look. Can only be one of two things. Either your boss is giving you hell or your boyfriend is. Which is it?" He ask as I drink the next shot.
"Both. My boyfriend is my boss, which was a problem. But not as big a problem as the fact that my boyfriend has a wife." I say playing with peanut shells.
"Tell you what..this one is on the house." He says pouring a fifth shot.
I drink it and watch as Cristina and George walk into the bar. They sit as I continue doing shots.

Derek's POV:
"Addie what are you doing?" I ask as she steps closer.
"Your hair is different." She notices.
"A lot of things are different." I say angrily as I stand my ground against her.
All I can think about is Meredith. It wasn't fair to her that I didn't tell her. It was my fault.
"It's longer, I like it. It's very Russel Crow." She says moving her finger to it.
I tilt my head aside so she can't touch it. The only woman that had the right to touch my hair was Meredith.
"What are you doing here?" I repeat louder.
"What are you doing here? You just pick up and leave everything? Your house? Your practice? Your friends? You had a life in Manhattan." She asks.
"Had." I corrected through gritted teeth.
"And now you have a girlfriend in Seattle. She seems... sweet." She says.
Addison could talk about me all she wanted but Meredith? I would not let that happen.
"The ice you're on- thin." I spat.
I walked away while trying to think where Meredith went.
"She's young. That wide-eyed 'Ooh, he's a brain surgeon' thing happening but still sweet. Which is what your were going for right? The Anti-Addison." She says as I turn.
My hands turn into fists inside my pockets as I grind my teeth together. She was insulting Meredith and me.
"If you think you came here to win me back, you can forget about it." I said clearly watching her face my direction.
"I did. I flew all the way across the country to reminisce over wedding photos, get drunk, fall into bed and make you realize you can't live without me." She said only a few inches from my face.
I couldn't tell weather she was joking. I could smell her strawberry chapstick and shuddered at the thought of my body pressed against anyone's but Meredith.
"Relax Derek. I'm here for work. I'm helming the T.T.T.S case you admitted last week and from Richard's briefing I-" She starts.
"Richard knew you were coming out her?" I ask.
"He asked me to come, didn't he tell you?" She questioned.
"No, he didn't." I say angrily.
"Hmm. Well, surprise." She smiled.
I watched as she walked closer to my chest and her clavicle touched mine.
"The hair though. You know, I've always had a thing for Russel Crow." She says breathing into my ear.
I turn as she walks away. Immediately, I walk outside and get in my car. Tears flow down my face as I start to drive. Meredith was in pain because of me. My chest contracted as the thought came back. I had hurt her. I get out of the car and run to her front door.
"Meredith!" I yell outside the door.
"Please!" I scream again banging on the door.
"I'm sorry!" I shout as tears cloud my vision.
I stand at the door for an hour waiting for her as I cry into my hands. I walk back to my car and sit inside. Her car is parked next to mine but she is not answering me. I get out of the car and stand by her garage door. This is stupid but we are talking about Meredith here. I take off the coat and throw it in my car. Sighing, I roll up my sleeves and cuff my pants. Taking a deep breath, I walk around the house and find bricks. Positioning my feet in-between the spaces, I hold on to spaces above the bricks and thrust myself upward. I climb as quickly as possible and throw a leg on the roof. Breathlessly, I pull the rest of myself onto the roof. Breathing heavily, I stand up on the roof and sit on the rafters by her window. I am going to regret this. I grab the edges of the rafters and push myself down so I am hanging from the roof from my fingers.
"Meredith!" I yell again.
I sway myself and jump to her windowsill. I sit by the window and look inside as best as I can. I sigh when I see that Mer isn't there. Burying my face into my knees, I sob. I had never felt so disgusting and more like a monster than now. Whatever Meredith was doing to cope, it was my fault. I felt like just yesterday we had met at the bar and now I had shown her that I wasn't a trustworthy person. My pager rang and I picked it up. Joe; the bartender was hurt. He is the one who owns the bar where Mer and I met. I swing my legs over the windowsill and look at the ground. It's a 10 foot drop. I sigh and hold the edge of the window. I quickly scale down the side of the house and get in the car. In a few minutes, I reach the parking lot of the hospital and get out. I don't even know what to say to Mer. I walk into the attending's lounge and throw a lab coat on in the place of my black leather jacket. I can still smell Meredith's scent from when I gave it to her. I take in the flowery scent before being paged again. Grudgingly, I hang up the jacket and grab Joe's chart from the nurses station. He had a large tumor. I can only get clean margins if it is a standstill operation. I sigh and looked up. I felt my heart rate quicken as Meredith walked into my view. Her dirty blonde hair moved every so slightly and he svelte figure made it impossible not to look at her.
"What are you doing back here tonight? I thought you had a date with McDreamy?" Izzie asks her.
"More like McMarried." George says.
"McWhat?" She exclaims.
"I came to check on Joe." Mer says softly.
I can hear the sadness in her tone as they continue.
"Do you think he is going to be okay?" George asks.
"Do you think he is going to need an operation?" Cristina asked as they looked towards Joe on the bed.
"Operation yes, Okay- hard to tell. Basilar artery is blown up like a ballon, subarachnoid bleeding, aneurism the size of a golf ball." I say walking to them.
"No way to clip something like that." George says.
"Not without magic fingers." Cristina replies.
"Or a standstill operation." I conclude looking at Mer.
She looks miserable and I feel my stomach twist.
"You're doing a standstill operation-" Cristina stops in the middle of her sentence as Izzie and George give her a death stare.
"He's doing a standstill operation!" She says quietly.
"I'd like to try. But first I need some additional patient history, overnight labs and a cerebral angio." I say hold the chart to Meredith.
She meets my eyes and I feel horrible. The sadness in her eyes is apparent and I can sense that I will start crying soon.
"I'm drunk." She says walking away.
"Meredith." I call softly.
I sigh and try to walk to her. Izzie steps in front of me and Cristina steps on the other side, blocking me.
"McBastard." Izzie whispers.
I sigh and nod. McBastard. That is who I was. Nothing better than that. A cheater, liar and a horrible person. I dodge them both and get blocked by George. I push him aside and walk down the stairs, the way I saw Meredith walk. I see her figure walking to the door in the lobby.
"Meredith." I call running to her.
"Go away." Her voice shakes as I keep running.
"Just wait. We should discuss this." I say as I catch up.
"Here's a though. No!" She says turning to an inch away from my face. Her green eyes are red and glistening with tears as she yells.
"Quit following me!" She says walking outside .
"At least let me explain!" I say following her.
"Explain?! You know when you should've explained?! The high wet Mer in the bar. Before any of the rest of it!" She screams as tears flow down her face.
"Yeah. That would have been a good time to discuss it!" She says walking away from me.
"Look, I know how you feel." I say walking behind her.
Addison had cheated on me. With my own brother. I had felt it before.
"Do you?! Somehow I doubt that!" She yells as we stand in the rain.
I hold out my hand and graze her fingertips. She pulls her hand away from my quickly.
"Because if you did, you would shut up, turn around and go back inside because you would realize that I am this close to running you down in the parking lot!" She yells as her voice breaks.
I see tears running down her face as as we stare at each other. This was it. This is what my dream meant.
"You shouldn't hurt her."
"WE WONT."
I had lied to myself. What kind of idiot lies to himself.
Her fingers moved to her hair and I watched as she pushed it out of her face. I walked closer to her and let my fingers try to caress her cheeks that were wet with tears. She moved her head so I wouldn't touch her. The action hurt more than anything that I had ever felt before. She stared into my eyes and I felt tears building in mine. She turned around and walked away. I sighed and watched as she got in George's car and drove away. Rage filled my body as I remembered who had brought Addison here. I walked into the attending's lounge and tossed the lab coat aside. Picking up the leather jacket, I held it to my face breathing in the scent. I would give anything to have Meredith in my arms right now. I held the jacket in my arms and walked into Richard's room, banging the door. Addison sat by his side and I turned against the window. I could feel my tears coming from my eyes as she left the room.
"What is she doing here?" I asked.
My throat was sore from how many times I had called for Meredith.
"You and I both know, she's the best in the field. Bringing Addie out was a business decision, nothing personal." Richard said.
"Oh! Well. What a relief. It's not personal." I said sarcastically.
"It is personal to me." I snapped as my voice broke.
"The workings of my surgical unit don't have anything-" He started.
"Don't include my wife!" I raised my voice.
"Don't include your private life!" He yelled.
What did he mean?
"Burke will act as chief of surgery until I'm back on my feet." He said calmly.
"You gave chief to Burke?! You promised me!" I yelled.
"Like I said, there's no room for personal in being chief." He snapped at me.
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" I asked angrily.
"How long have you been sleeping with an intern?" He asked.
My rage was at its absolute highest. I wasn't just sleeping with Meredith. I was dating her.
"So I guess part of being chief is personal." I scoff.
"Close the door on your way out." He says.
I shut the door not bothering to do it quietly. I drive to Meredith's house and knock on the door.
George opens the door and tries to shut it.
"Please." I ask holding the door.
"Get lost." He says angrily trying to shut the door.
"I just want to see her." I beg.
"Don't you think, you've hurt her enough?" He snaps.
"Please." I ask again as tears being flowing from my eyes.
"Stay here. I'll ask if she wants to see you." He sighs.
I nod and he opens the door. I stand in the hall in her house and start to breathe heavily. As I wait, I realize that I don't have a plan.
"She says you can go see her." George says a few minutes later as he walks down the stairs.
"Please don't hurt her again." He says leaving the house.
I nod and walk up the stairs to her room. The door is closed and I move to knock. My hand falters and I take a deep breath. My knuckles make contact with the door.
"Come in." Her voice is almost inaudible.
I turn the knob and walk into the room, shutting the door behind me. She is laying in the bed in a straight line.
"Meredith." I say as I place my jacket on the armchair.
She doesn't speak but I hear her breathing. Gently, I kneel on the floor and stare into her eyes. My fingers move to touch her but she shifts.
"I was going to tell you." I sigh as I watch her eyes in the moonlight.
"When?" She asks.
"When what?" I ask softly.
"When were you going to tell me?" She asks.
"Tonight. I'm not lying." I say softly.
"I'm sorry." She says, her soft voice echos in my ears.
"For what?" I ask quietly.
"I can't...believe you." She says.
"Meredith please." I beg as she looks at me.
"I want to. I really, really want to. But, I can't trust you." She says before closing her eyes.
"Leave." She says as she pulls the sheets to her nose.
I nod and walk out the door, grabbing my jacket. As I leave the house, I do my best to break into pieces. She couldn't trust me and she couldn't believe me and she was right not to. I went into the lab in the hospital and sat down, hoping no praying that a ground-breaking idea came to me. I ran my fingers through my hair and pulled the edges aggressively. The papers in front of me shake and I hold the table to keep from hitting something. I shook with rage as I walked out of the lab, throwing papers. I went into an on-call room and let myself collapse on the twin bed. I closed my eyes and tried to let sleep take me away. It worked. I awoke in the clouds and this time the man was there.
"I thought I told you NOT to hurt her!" He yelled as I stood up off the clouds.
"Shut up. You knew I was going to tell her!" I yelled.
I felt a sharp pain in my jaw as his fist collided with my face.
"Do you understand what you have done?!" He screamed.
I saw the blackness hit my face and my nose was burning.
"What did I do?" I asked as I tried to punch him.
His hands picked me up my the collar of my scrubs and pushed me against a wall that had appeared.
"You changed her! She isn't ever going to be the same!" He screamed in my face.
"What is that supposed to mean?" I ask breathlessly.
"You broke her." He said smashing me into the wall.
I groaned in pain as he disappeared and I fell. I went through the clouds and felt sick as I saw water underneath me. Stabbing pains pierced my body as I was struck by long pieces of hail. I give up. I deserved it all. Suddenly, I shook awake in a puddle of my sweat. I was so cold but hot at the same time. I shook in place as I continued to sweat. Checking my watch, I groaned. I had been asleep for the past 7 hours, it was already 9. I stood up and grabbed the sheets. Quickly, I ran to the janitor closet and shoved the sheets into the hamper. I grabbed a fresh pair of scrubs with a towel and ran into the showers. Quickly, I washed off all the sweat and got dressed. Running down the stairs, I saw Burke.
"So congratulations are in order." I smiled as I ran to him.
"Don't sweat it Shepherd. I'll only be your boss for a few days." He says walking tall.
"I'm well aware of Richard's recovery time. I'm the one who operated on him remember?" I asked sarcastically.
"I do. You operated, he survived and chose me to take over while recruiting your wife." He said as I walked into the computer room.
"Clearly he has brain damage." I said.
"Or is it your ex-wife? I'm a little fuzzy on that." He asked.
"We are separated." I sighed walking back to him.
"Sorry to interrupt Dr. Burke." Addison walked to us.
"You're never interrupting Addie." Burke says.
"She's always interrupting." I said.
"I was just checking to see if Dr. Burke secured the in-" She started.
"Intern you requested. He did." Meredith finished stepping in front of me.
My eyes widen as I look at her. Her golden hair is down making the scent enter my lungs and send tingles down my spine. Her lips are glistening and I can smell a hint of vanilla. She looks beautiful and fresh as though she has been sleeping for years. I realize my jaw is open and turn to Addison who is smirking. I roll my eyes at Burke and turn back to Meredith who is walking away with Addison.
"Mer!" I call out.
She ignores me and I sigh. I follow them sneakily and wait outside the patient room. Addison and Meredith come out and talk. Meredith nods and starts walking towards me. I reach my hand out and touch her fingers. A shock runs through my body and fills me with energy. She tries to pull away but I pull her to my chest.
"Meredith." I sigh as her hands rest on my chest.
"Look, I had a lot of tequila the last night. I don't remember much. Whatever I said to you to make you feel like you have a chance. I take it back. Just leave me alone." She says backing away from me.
"Meredith please let me explain." I begged holding her to me.
"No. Derek. Leave me alone." She said.
I felt myself beginning to break as I let her walk away. Sighing, I watched as she walked away from me. I don't know what she remembered or didn't. As I walk down a stairwell, I think about her words.
"I can't believe you."
"I can't trust you."
My fingers were still tingling from her touch as I saw Burke.
"You gave Meredith to Addison. Do you think that's a good idea?" I asked.
"That's not your call." He responds simply.
"Do you need me for something because as the new chief-" He says walking away.
"Interim chief." I correct.
"Chief nonetheless." He says.
"Ever attempt a standstill surgery?" I ask.
He lights up and nods. I push Meredith out of my mind to stop myself from breaking into pieces. We walk to Joe's bed and start speaking.
"It's the location of the aneurism that makes it tricky." I say.
"Your body temp. will be lowered cool enough to protect you from any damage and stop your heart." Burke says.
"Which stops the blood flow to the brain and reduces the risk of rupture. I'll have 45 minutes to clip the aneurism-" I continue.
"Before I step in and get your heart started again." Burke cuts me off.
"You want to freeze my body, drain my blood and stop my heart?" Joe's asks.
"And bring you back." I say.
"In under 45 minutes?" He asks.
"Right." I confirm.
"If you go over is it free?" He jokes.
"No." Cristina says seriously.
"Dr. Yang, you can go and handle the pre OP labs." Burke smiles as she walks away.
"How much? How much does something like this cost?" Joe asks us.
"I don't think you should worry about that right now." I say calmly.
"Hey look, you guys say you can kill me and bring me back. I believe it. You're doctors. But I own a bar. I don't got any insurance. So I'm not that concerned about the surgery so much as what I am gonna do when I survive it. I'm going to need a number. 10 grand? 20? 30?" He asks.
"Couple 100 at least." I mumble.
"We'll let you think about it but you need this to be alive." Burke said as I walked away.
I walk down the fifth floor and spot Addison. Walking up to her, I grab her arm.
"It took a lot of nerve. Requesting Meredith." I snap.
"Oh come on. She came highly recommended." She says.
"Right." I say sarcastically.
"So you don't recommend her?" She asks with her eyebrows raised.
"I did not say that." I say annoyed.
"Just not for her medical skills." She says.
"Oh, would you shut up. Meredith is the best neuro intern" I snap.
"Dr. Shepherd." Meredith says walking into the room.
"Yes?" I ask.
"Yes?" Addie asks.
I look between the two of them and take a breathe remembering that Addison is also Dr. Shepherd.
"Labs confirm what looks like abnormalities on the ultrasound. I think you should come and see for yourself." Meredith says completely ignoring me.
"Fine. Let's go." Addison says already walking away.
"Meredith." I call.
"Don't." Meredith glares at me before walking away.
I look forward and see Burke and George watching me. I walk past them struggling as George blocks me. As I scrub in for surgery, I see Meredith walk in. She locks the scrub room door and I watch her curiously.
"What are you doing?" I ask as she walks behind me.
"Yesterday, Joe did something kind for me. Before he fell." She says as I continue looking at my arms and scrubbing.
I feel her breath on my neck and let out a long breath.
"So now, I am doing something for him." She said.
Her fingers pulled at my hair and I smiled. What was happening? My scrub cap fell off my head and I watched as it hit the bottom of the next sink. Her fingers grazed my forehead as she slipped another scrub cap on me.
"You love ferryboats." She says tying it.
"Will you be in the gallery?" I ask softly.
"I will in the beginning. Then I have a surgery with your wife. I'll try to come back after. I love Joe." She says.
I feel her breath move down my neck and laugh quietly.
"I believe in you." She says before walking out.
I rinse the soap out of my arms and walk into the OR. The nurses hand me towels and I wipe my arms. Gently, I adjust my scrub cap and smile seeing a reflection of ferryboats. I look up to the gallery and see Meredith smiling down at me. I smile back and watch her look at her pager and walk out of the room. In a few hours, I finish clamping off the arteries in Joe's brain.
"Let's start cooling him." I say.
Everyone nods and I feel a rush of cold air hit my body. The nurses turn the thermostat to -20 degrees. I walk back and forth trying to maintain my heat.
"What time is it?" I ask.
"8:30 Doctor." A nurse says.
"Okay. Thank you. Start the clock." I say looking up to the gallery.
Meredith stands in the back and is laughing with George. I feel warmer as I start to evacuate the aneurism.
"Penfield 14 please." I ask.
Bokhee hands me the surgical instrument. I smile and slide it underneath the blood vessels to separate them from the aneurism. Every few seconds I look up to the gallery and study Meredith. Once George stops talking to her, she looks sad. I feel awful for causing her pain. After the surgery, I go to the trailer and fall back in the bed. I take off my scrubs and change into a white sweater. Pulling up jeans and throwing on a red and  black plad jacket, I walk onto the deck of the trailer. I nervously pull out my phone and shakily call Mer.
"Hello?" She asks through the phone.
"Meredith." I breathe out in relief listening to her voice.
"Are you at the trailer?" She asks.
"Yeah, Meredith, I really want a chance to explain." I say.
"I'll meet you at the trailer." She says quietly.
"See you soon." I say before hanging up.
I breathe heavily and gather my courage. My palms are sweating and I run my fingers through my hair. As I think about what to say, I reach my hand into the fridge and pull out two beers. The green bottle fizzes as I flip the cap off into the trash. I sit on the wooden stair and take a sip of beer. What was I going to say? I had to explain Finn to her. I drank a long sip and emptied half the bottle. I sighed as a blue car rolled in front of the trailer. Meredith was wearing a grey sweater with a brown vest. Her golden hair mesmerizes me as she gets out of the car. Her green eyes are intoxicating and I stare lustfully as my breath hitches. She nods signaling me to explain everything.
"One night. I park my car and unlock my front door to go inside my house and somethings different. Nothing's different, everything's the same. But yet still, something's different." I said softly, occasionally meeting her eyes.
"And I stand there for a while...then I know." I say remembering the events of the night.
"See there are moments for me, you know usually when I'm in the OR when I just know what's going to happen next." I continue as she makes no facial expressions.
I take a drink and take a breath through my teeth as the alcohol burns my throat on the way down. She walks to me as I continue.
"So I go upstairs." I say softly as she sits beside me.
"As I walk down the hall, I'm trying to prepare myself for what I'm about to see when I walk into my bedroom." I say shakily as I feel her side pressing mine.
"I step on a man's jacket that doesn't belong to me." I say holding the beer out for her.
She moved her hand from holding her cheek and takes the bottle.
"And everything I think I know, just shifts." I say.
She looks at me while her fingers hold her head.
"Because the jacket that doesn't belong to me is a jacket that I recognize." I say.
"And what I know now is that when I go into my bedroom, I'm not just going to see that my wife is cheating on me. I'm going to see that my wife is cheating on me with Finn. Who happened to be my brother." I sigh as I take another sip of the other beer and look at her.
"It's just so pedestrian and common and dirty and cruel. Mostly just cruel." I say watching her reaction.
"I left. Came out here." I conclude.
"And you met me." She says.
"And I met you." I smile wide remembering our night in flashes.
"What was I to you? The girl you screwed to get over being screwed?" She asks.
I think for a while. I never expected this question. I remember my dreams with Meredith.
"You were like coming up for fresh air. Like I was drowning and you saved me." I say moving closer.
Our faces were centimeters away and it was draining not to kiss her. My hand reaches out and I caress her face. I breathe out softly as we move to face each other. Her skin is incredibly soft underneath my fingers. I let my head lean closer and shut my eyes as I feel her even breathing against my lips. As time freezes, softly, I lock my lips with hers. I feel warmth as her upper lip sucks at my lower lip. My lips encase her upper lip and savor the taste of vanilla. Her fingers move mine off of her jawline and she gets up. I open my eyes and my hand falls to my knees.
"That's not enough." She says as she opens her drivers seat door.
My head falls and I get up and stand on the large platform. Breathlessly, our eyes meet through her windshield and I can smell the scent of her hair near me.
"Fuck." I whisper as I watch as she backs out of my land.
I turn and walk into my trailer. I shut the metal door and stand in the middle of my trailer rubbing my fingers over my mouth. I feel myself filling with self rage. I pace back and forth running my fingers through my hair.
"Damn It!" I yell and walk outside, slamming the door.
Tears cloud my vision and I sit on a chair on the deck. My head rests in my hands as I cry. Her words keep stabbing through me.
"That's not enough."
"That's not enough."
"That's not enough."
It wasn't enough.
I...was not...enough.

Word Count - 5610
Sorry, I wanted to get this chapter out earlier but I had an an emergency that I had to take care of. Anyways, I hope you liked this chapter. I have school tomorrow so I do not know if I will be able to post as fast. I love you all. Thank you for reading 😘

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