22. Nothing is promised

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" ain't none of this shit certain , ain't none of this certain . Ain't none of us perfect , I hope it was worth it "

~ riri

Kennedy banks pov
Thursday 8/18

Kennedy banks pov Thursday 8/18

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"Say ahhhhhhh"  I sing out while shaking the baby bottle up in my hand

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"Say ahhhhhhh" I sing out while shaking the baby bottle up in my hand

I woke up earlier than I wanted to because I'm still on Chicago time , plus Durk likes to sleep with his house cold as hell , so I got up to get water , heard willow crying , changed her diaper , then decided to just feed her before everyone woke up .

We had so much fun last night so I'm super tired . After we ate roscoes durk took us to the beach and my mother had a field day taking pictures of everything that we passed by . We shared ice cream, made a sand castle, then came back home and played board games together .

This is probably the most family time we've spent together since our father passed and it feels amazing. This trip is definitely needed . Plus being around Durk again is making me realize a lot of what I've been doing in Chicago is not like myself and I need to get in touch with who I am again before I can move forward .

"Here comes the air plane " I say while flying the bottle into willows mouth . Her large cheeks start moving as she drinks up the milk and I smile adoring her .

She's a spitting image of Durk and india all wrapped up into one small person . I remember when Durk was so afraid to have children and now he has the cutest one ever.

I wonder what it would be like to have child . A mini me , someone I can be with all the time , raise into a little human , and watch them grow . That sounds way better than what I'm doing now .

I wonder what Vons children looks like. I know I shouldn't think about him but I can't help but to imagine what our children would've looked like or how life would've been if we had a family by now . I know I would be happy , but he probably wouldn't .

I attempt to shake off my thoughts about Von so I can prevent myself from wanting to go see him and look down to see willow finishing her bottle and drifting off to sleep . I pop a pacifier in her mouth and lay her on my chest . I smile and let her sleep then sit back in the chair .

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