sdmn one sh~i~ts

Feel Okay /wroetobehz

words: 1183
warnings: i don't think so? i mean, his lip bleeds? he cries? BUT FLUFF!! ⚠️

Harry's mind was blank as he nibbled worriedly on his bottom lip. He had been recording videos for Sidemen Reacts, More Sidemen, and his own second channel all day, and he still had so much more to do.

He leaned forwards rubbing his eyes, biting down harder on his lip as his anxiety teased his throat and chest to explode into sobs of exhaustion and overwork. It had been three weeks since he started 'grinding' on YouTube again. He'd put out his own video every day, and put much more effort into being in all of the Sidemen channels, and he still felt like it wasn't good enough. He had to make up for all the times he hadn't uploaded.

Slowly, Harry pressed down on the record button, feigning another smile as he looked to the camera. He had to do at least thee more videos today. And he had to get them right. He just had to.

***

A few hours later he began to feel a familiar coppery flavour fill his mouth, but it didn't bother him.

Instead, it brought him a sense of comfort, as he continued to bite down harder into the soft skin of his lip. It distracted him from his mind- his real worries and thoughts. He almost enjoyed the feeling, cherishing in the sensation of blood running over his tongue, press into the tender burn of the wound.

Suddenly, there was a knock on his bedroom door, startling him from his trance as he turned around in his chair quickly to see who it was.

"Babe?" A voice recognisable as Ethan's called out, his big doe like eyes peering around the corner of the door frame, fingers rested on the doorknob tightly.

"Ethan," Harry smiled tightly, he must have looked like total shit considering how Ethan's eyes immediately turned glassy, with concern. "What're you doing here?"

"Freezy let me in, wanted to ask if you wanna go out for a few drinks with me?" He asked now closing the door behind him and moving onto Harry's bed. "You didn't answer when I called you."

"Oh, sorry. I've been filming all day." He mumbled honestly, eyes downcast. As much as he loved his boyfriend, he didn't like the way he always managed to make him feel so vulnerable, like an open book.

Ethan sighed as walked over to the desk Harry sat at, placing a hand on his shoulder. "It's alright, but maybe you should take a break for a while and relax."

Harry nodded, as he reached forwards and turned off the monitor. Ethan smiled warmly as he spun the chair around, so they were facing each other.

"Now how about those drink- shit Bog, you're lips bleeding." Hardy froze and reached up to his face, feeling the spot he had been biting it.

The older man slowly dropped down onto his knees, and lifted a thumb to wipe some of the blood away. "What happened?"

Harry felt as if he were being choked, he let his head fall into his boyfriends hand, as a show of submission. He suddenly felt so tired, like the touch had completely drained him of any from of resilience and strength.

"Baby," Ethan whispered, wrapping both of his hands around the youngers tanned cheeks, thumbing the skin gently when he noticed he had begun to cry. "It's okay Bog, it's okay."

"I don't feel okay, Eth." He said, surprised at how steady his own voice sounded despite the fact he felt like he was choking back sobs of desperation. "I-I'm just so tired of it all."

Ethan knew what he was talking about, he definitely wasn't unaware of how thin Harry had been spreading himself recently.

"Hey, hey it's okay. You're aloud to take a break, okay? You've been working so bloody hard, Boggo." Ethan tried to soothe, but his words seemed to break the dam, and soon, all the held back tears exploded.

Harry let out a horrid rumble, his chest shaking as it rolled out of his throat, tears beginning to stain Ethan's tattooed hands. The salty droplets sliding over his silver and golden rings, making them glisten in the bright light of the bedroom.

He slid off of his chair and onto the floor, wrapping his arms tightly around Ethan, trying to hold onto something real, to ground himself. Trying to breathe, to blink away the tears, to ride out the waterfall of emotions.

He felt like he was weightless, a meaningless spec of an empty existence. Everything felt too loud, too bright.

"You're okay now Bogger, both of us are. You have been doing so well, you don't need to worry about anything- you hear me? Nothing at all, I'm right here, baby." Ethan promised, returning the hug with double the strength, pressing soft kisses into the crown of his hair to offer more comfort. Harry sobbed and nodded into his chest as more kind words continued to fall out of Ethan's mouth, soothing him back to reality.

They sat in the same position for many minutes, hunched on the floor snuggled together, the muffled sounds of Harry's sadness like a broken record in Ethan's ears. He hated that sound, the sound of his sadness.

He held him closer, running his hands through the soft brown hair. All he wanted was for Harry to feel happy and safe.

Eventually, Harry's sobs began to quiet down, and his trembles lessen, peeking up from Ethan's chest shyly with red rimmed eyes. They pulled apart, with somewhat reluctance on both sides, and sat back, staring at each other. Ethan noticing that there was still blood smeared all over the boys lip, and there were now red rings under his eyes from crying.

Harry seemed to soften, chuckling hoarsely before rubbing his eyes of remaining tears with the backs of his hands. "S-Sorry, I didn't mean for that to happen."

Ethan smiled, reaching for the youngers hands, drawing them away from his irritated red eyes. "It's okay, let's go and get those drinks- actually fuck that, let's order in some food, yeah? I'll even let you choose what we get."

Harry giggled, genuinely this time, clutching at his boyfriends hands tightly, like they were the only things in the entire world. The light slowly beginning to twinkle back into them, the stars in his eyes reflected the ones that were starting to form outside.

"That sounds nice."

And so, they got up off the floor, and onto the bed, neither daring to let go of each others hand, as they searched for a restaurant to order food from, on Ethan's phone.

(spoiler alert, it ended up being Mcdonald's, but Ethan didn't have the heart to complain when he saw how happy Harry was to eat his chicken nuggetssssss) :3

- - -

did i just do... fluff?
kind of?
wtf?

okay okay i kinda quickly wrote this for all my wroetobehz babies out there, cos i realised how much i missed writing wroetobehz fluff hehehe <333