sdmn one sh~i~ts

Look At Me, Angel /minishaw

words: 3423
warnings: slight mentions of suicide⚠️

Usually, Harry is alone when it happens.

'you guys stan a racist. #wroetoracist'

He doesn't catch the username, only barely even able to read the comment before it's lost in a sea of other fans desperate to be seen. Harry doesn't know why it had been that comment over all the others, that he noticed, but it's too late to question it. It's made it's way into his head.

His chest feels tight. He doesn't move for several long, breathless seconds, but he can still hear Josh and Tobi chatting excitedly at his side. No one else acknowledges the comment. No one says anything. Harry let's himself breathe. It's fine. Nothing he hasn't dealt with before.

'wdym harry's racist?? :0'

'yeah he almost got cancelled by stan twitter lol he's kind of problematic'

They thought he was problematic. Was he?

He thinks Ethan is the first to notice. The older boy wrapping an arm around Harry's back is nothing out of the ordinary for them, but he can see the way his friends head turns slightly, his eyes lingering on Harry's tense frame.

Harry should be used to them by now, the comments- but usually, he's by himself, and can let the hateful words be buried in a rash of support. Or, if they're bad enough, he can block the account and spare himself from the spam he knows will follow.

But, right now, he's not alone.

'WAIT is harry the youtuber who made racist comments when he was younger??? EW NO'

'guys he was like fifteen, let it go'

'What if we got "Harry gay" trending again on twitter lol'

He wishes they would stop. He knows some of them are just trying to help, but seeing his name and the word 'gay' next to it is almost as bad as the other comments. Not that he has anything against being gay- he likes men, but that's the kind of shit that can end careers on his platform, and Harry can't afford any more strikes against him. Not when he's already got one foot in the figurative grave of his life as an 'influencer'.

It's at this moment he decides that he regrets
agreeing to do this stupid twitch stream with the boys. He wishes he'd said no like Jj- claiming he was too busy. He hates this.

"Bog?"

Ethan's quiet voice breaks through his thoughts. Harry let's his eyes shift to the older boys inquisitive gaze, just for a second, before going back to the iPad in his hands. He wants to keep an eye on the comments. He wants to know what hurtful things they're saying about him.

Ethan's hands find his a beat later, fingers slipping between his own as Harry let's his left hand be pulled away from the device, only his right hand keeping it balanced on his thigh.

'harry's being rly quiet hope he's ok'

'wtf look at how cute behz is acting with harry!!! awwwww i stan two pretty best friends :p'

After the first negative comment, it becomes easy to just miss all the others. All the comments saying they loved his 'fit' today, all of the comments praising his performance on the most recent sidemen sunday, and all of the comments telling him he's relatable and funny, and just a pleasure to watch in general.

It's easy to ignore them, when all he can think about is this.

'How r u idiots gonna have BLM as ur profile pics and continue to support him? I don't get it. Couldn't be me.'