sdmn one sh~i~ts

(Not) Wrong /wroetosdmn

words: 2604
warming: internalised biphobia⚠️

REQUESTED BY @luxuriousmisery -
argh i really love this one so much <33
they asked me to write about harry dealing with internalised biphobia,,, and the sidemen reassuring him that he's okay and they love him :))

(this is vv platonic)

Harry could remember when he first started to find boys attractive. It wasn't anything exciting, he had been eleven years old and had been tackled to the ground during a game of football, a game which Harry would much rather watch than take part in, as he lay on the ground, wincing at how his chest and back hurt. And then suddenly, Owen Taylor approached and held out his hand for Harry to take.

Harry could still remember the way his heart beat seemed to increase as he took Owen's hand and was pulled up off the floor. He could remember the way Owen smiled and how he gave a rough pat to Harrys back and joined the rest of the team as they got ready to play. He could remember spending weeks trying to figure out what was going on, why did he blush whenever he thought of the older boy? Why did his stomach drop in nervousness around him? It wasn't right. It was wrong.

Harry had worried for the longest time that he was gay, but then he met Alison Wilson. She'd recently moved to his school after the summer and they had soon become quick friends as they bonded over their love for playing games. It wasn't long before their friendship eventually became something more as Alison shyly grabbed his hand on a walk home from school one day, and it just felt right after all.

This would eventually turn into Harry's first relationship, which was nothing more than shy kisses and hand holding, until he finally moved to London, away from Guernsey.

Harry was on the road to being able to accept the fact that he was bisexual after that. However, he still hadn't found the courage to tell anyone, not even his family. His family were pretty accepting of LGBTQ+, but not when it was their own son, or at least that's what Harry told himself.

He hadn't missed the way that his parents would sometimes make faces at the television if a homosexual couple kissed, even if they said they were okay with it.

The worst experience for Harry with his parents had been after watching a show where a bisexual character happened to cheat on someone- a bad stereotype that Harry was not happy to see.

"Harold, promise me something?" His mother has said as they lounged in the living room. Harry let out a hum to show her he was listening. "Never date a bisexual girl. I would hate to see you be cheated on with another girl. After all we all know they're really just gay."

She had laughed as if it were some hilariously funny joke, and even though Harry could feel his stomach drop, he grit his teeth and laughed along with her.

"Of course not. Anyway, I'm gonna call it a night." He had excused himself quickly and tried his hardest not to show how hurt he was by the incredulous comment.

That night as he cried himself to sleep, he'd come to the conclusion that he would never, ever, come out to his parents... or to anyone.

***

As of 2021, the Sidemen existed, and were doing extremely well, but harry was still in the closet. He had come out to a grand total of zero people. It's not that he was ashamed, he knew who he was- what he was, and he could even go as far as to say he was proud of himself, for getting so far and overcoming the depression that just seems to come hand in hand with sexuality.

So why was he struggling so much with telling his closest friends? They were his brothers, and they had gone through so much together. The simple reason was that he was so afraid of how they would react, if they would hate him or distance themselves from him.