sdmn one sh~i~ts

How On Earth pt2

words: 1035
warmings: eating disorders⚠️

Waking up in a hospital bed would be scary for anyone, especially someone who had never been in one before. So when Harry opened his eyes, he started to panic. He felt too weak to move, too weak to even speak.

"W-where am I?" He softly whispered, praying to god that someone heard him.

"Boggo, you're in hospital." Ethan responded from his chair, hating the way he spoke. It sounded so cliche, as if they were in a coming of age movie, or characters in a book.

With that, Harry started to panic even more. He didn't understand why he was here, and why he felt as though he couldn't even move.

"W-why?" He spoke quietly, with a tear running down his face. He already knew the answer of course, it was all starting to come back to him.

"Harry, you... collapsed." He explained, still trying to come to terms with it himself. He studied his boyfriends face as he spoke, seeing him close his eyes and sigh. Ethan took his hand from where he sat, just continuing to stare at the man before him. Only now had he started to realise that he barely recognised him. This wasn't the Harry he knew. The wires attached to his body from the many machines behind them, and deep bags under his eyes were enough to convey that.

"Uhh, Bog. We need to talk," Ethan started again, which made Harry roll his eyes. He wanted to be alone at this moment, not with these wires covering his body, and the nurses coming in and out of the room. Not with Ethan breathing down his neck, and clamping his hand so tightly it could just burst any minute. He already knew what he was going to say, and he just didn't want to talk about it. So before he could speak, Harry cut him off.

"Fucking hell Eth, I know what you want to say. And I don't want to talk about it. I don't want you to talk about it. Just, please, leave me alone." His tone wasn't rude or demanding, if anything it was beseeching. It were almost as if he were begging.

"But-" he started, only to be cut off again. Though this time not by Harry. Much to Ethan's annoyance, a doctor had walked into the room, accompanied by two nurses.

"You're awake! How are you feeling Mr Lewis?" The doctor spoke, tilting his head to the side. Obviously trying his best to show as much as much sympathy and compassion as possible.

Harry only groaned at that, still not wanting to speak. He was tired. Too tired. Mentally and physically, of course.

Harry lay there still, almost solemnly, as he listened to the doctor explain his condition. Ethan was the only one listening properly, eager to know what was wrong with his boyfriend, and what he could do to help him. Harry only listened in on parts that seemed to be important, like when Ethan's eyebrows would pull closer together, and when his jaw would become slightly more ajar than it already was.

Severe exhaustion and dehydration due to his new found eating disorder. Great.

Apparently, due to the many tests they did while he was still unconscious, he had been suffering from exhaustion for quite some time before he even collapsed, and the dehydration had topped it all off. As his body wasn't absorbing enough fluid, his blood wasn't getting to his organs, which was obviously bad.

It sounded incredibly serious, which it was, and that scared Ethan. From the outside he thought he seemed relatively fine, but his insides were telling a completely different story.

The next thing that was said, reduced the older man to tears, almost instantly, while the younger barely batted an eyelid.

'Life threatening.'

He could've died. His Boggy could have died, and all because he chose not to take care of himself. Because he thought his appearance was worth way more than his health. Could he really not see that everyone would love him no matter what he looked like? Did he genuinely believe that they cared about that sort of stuff? Ethan felt sick. He did not like what he was hearing, and he hated the fact that it seemed as though Harry didn't even care. How on earth could he not care?

***

It had been just over two weeks since Harry had collapsed in the doctors office. Ethan still thanked god that it happened there, rather than when he was at some random gym pushing himself far beyond his limits, which could have easily been the case.

Harry still wasn't really on board with the whole 'recovery plan' they had made in those few days in the hospital. Yes, he now knew he had a serious problem, and he knew it had to be addressed, but that didn't mean he wanted to stop it. He was perfectly fine with carrying on with what he was doing, he'd just learn to be more careful. Eat at least two meals every day, just to keep Ethan happy, and burn it all off later by going on a late night run while his boyfriend was asleep, or spending another hour or three in the gym, when he said he was going to meet a few friends. He didn't particularly enjoy lying to him, but he felt as if he had to, like he needed to.

Though Ethan wasn't having any of it. When he found Harry throwing up in the bathroom toilet, pretending to be in the shower, he saw red. After spending almost a whole day being lectured by him, Harry made a promise to Ethan to at least try his best to get better, and actually meaning it this time.

He knew it would be far from easy, but he also knew he had to do it. If not for himself, then for Ethan, and the rest of the boys.

He may not have been able to see it himself yet, but he knew that they loved him, no matter his appearance, and always would. And that was enough for him. In a way, it had to be.