sdmn one sh~i~ts

Mirror /wroetofreezy

words: 799 (it's sooo short i'm sorry!!)
warnings: alcoholism? ig? ⚠️

It was far too late into the night, and the house was inexplicably silent, and Harry couldn't sleep. So there he was, staring into the dimly lit bathroom mirror. He looked at his reflection, and was slightly taken aback when he couldn't recognise himself. Was that really him?

It didn't feel like it.

The exhaustion was clear on his face. But in all honesty, he was used to that by now. His brain always working ten times harder, just to keep up with everything. His body working even harder than that, to always be better. To sleep, but barely feel rested. He'd close his tired eyes for the night, only to open them five seconds later, as he was introduced to the suns burning gaze.

He looked at himself again. And it wasn't him.

Of course, he recognised his features, his eyes, his nose, his hair. Everything was so familiar, but also so 'not him'. It was indescribable. It was almost as if he wasn't in his body. As if this person in the mirror could just suddenly take his life, and run away with it.

It was weird, but he couldn't even bring himself to actually care, to be scared. Just another something to add to the endless list of things he had to worry about.

-His upload schedule.

-Maintaining his mental health to a manageable level.

- His appearance.

- His social skills.

- His family.

- Not being able to recognise himself in the fucking mirror.

He sighed. Homesickness usually didn't hit him in one direct shot. He didn't just want to go home. It wasn't just a sad, longing feeling that took him from time to time.

That was the suffocating sensation that would always take him as he got dressed to film a Sidemen Video he didn't want to record, to be in.

That was the familiar tension he felt when he was walking down an unknown street.

That was the awkwardness and shame he would feel when he messed up, again, and gained a few more disappointed stares to add to his already massive overflowing collection.

And sometimes that was just crying after a face time call with his family or friends.

He was too tired for that. He intensely glanced at that unfamiliar face, before finally deciding to move.

He was heading towards his room, when he heard the front door open and close. He knew it was Freezy. Trust only him to be out so late. Walking into the front room, Freezy was indeed there. He looked almost as exhausted as Harry did.

"You're still up?" The taller asked, his voice low, and slightly wobbling.

He nodded. "Couldn't sleep."

Not thinking much, Harry walked over to Freezy and hugged him. He didn't talk, he just needed comfort and safety. The older pulled him tighter against his chest, wrapping his arms around his waist, loosely.

"Are you okay?" He whispered.

"Not really." He muttered back, ignoring the potent smell of alcohol on his friends breath. Harry stayed silent for a few seconds, melting against his thin, lanky frame.

"I'm here for you Boggy. Always here for you."

Harry didn't really feel better, knowing that his statement wasn't true. He always said this, after stumbling into the living room at three in the morning, after warmly accepting Harry's hug. He never meant it, of course. He'd have to remember it the next morning to actually mean it.

But at least he wasn't alone. If not sober, Freezy would still be there for him. So he decided that there was some truth in the things he said, at these ghastly hours.

"Thank you, Cal. Thanks."

"Let's go to bed." The elder spoke again, ruffling Harry's hair under his large hand, then using it as a way to balance as they slowly trudged towards his bedroom.

Harry laid his friend down on the bed, cautiously. He turned around, ready to go back to his room, when the remarkably familiar hand grabbed his wrist, pulling him back closer to the bed frame.

"Come here. Stay." His voice was slightly weaker now, as he closed his eyes tiredly. Harry just nodded, and lied down next to him. Again, he snuggled against him. He felt safe in his friends arms, as Freezy stroked his hair until they both fell asleep.

Of course, Harry would be long gone by the time Freezy woke up. He'd be alone in his cold bed, left to -again- pretend to never remember what had occurred the previous night.

And wait for it to happen again.

- - -

fuck, my wroetofreezy heart really popped out here lmao :)

i couldn't sleep so wrote this real quick, hope you liked it?? idk idk i'm way too sleep deprived for this shit sorry