sdmn one sh~i~ts

'What if's & 'But's /wroetofreezy

words: 1450
warnings: mentions of suicidal thoughts⚠️

REQUESTED BY @boggox -
lmao i asked someone to write bipolar harry a long long time ago and they never did it... so i wrote this one for myself... enjoy enjoy ;)

The sun must set to rise.

It must pour, in order for a rainbow to appear.

The pain must get worse before it gets better.

It's the oldest story in the book; nothing can last forever. Nothing.

There must be dark times in life in order to have bright times. That's just the way it works.

No one can be happy or healthy or free forever, that's just not the way life is. That's not the way life is meant to be.

Time.

That's all it takes. Time. Everything takes time. The only thing you need in order to heal is time.

You can't let one moment or incident define you or your life, but that's just how it goes.

You take everything for granted. You beat yourself up for an unknown reason. You compare yourself to others and put yourself down, but for what? What reason is there?

The thing is, life gets dark. Life gets hard and shitty. Life fucking sucks sometimes,

but there is always good.

Although the bad in life consumes us, there is always something, even if it's just one thing, that can be good. Happy.

And Harry knows that. He knows that life is good just as much as it is bad, but right now in this moment, there's nothing that's good. There's no light at the end of the tunnel. There's no rainbow after the storm.

But everyone keeps telling him that. They keep saying that it'll be okay. That it'll be over soon and everything will go back to normal.

But will it?

How would they know? The answer is obvious. They don't. They don't know.

But in times like this people can only hope, though hope feels like a distant memory to Harry right now. It feels like it's a part of another life. Of another story that ended so many years ago.

Harry keeps trying to remind himself that it'll get better, that it has to, but is he just lying to
himself?

Granted, it has always worked out in the past, but what if this time is different?

What if this time Cal actually leaves him? He actually decides that he can't take it. He can't take the pressure of being with someone as fucked up as Harry. That he can't deal with all of his bullshit anymore.

He promised to always love him, but people lie, people change their minds. Was Cal one of those people?

And what if the rest of his friends decide to bail on him too?

Lux already did. He left him, decided to move to the other side of London. He said it was because he wanted a fresh start, a new beginning, but what if it was because he didn't want to be around anymore?