sdmn one sh~i~ts

I Wont Change /wroetobehz

words: 2427
warnings: talking about covid ⚠️

Harry stared out of the window. Looking at the black sky without stars, the moon was bright and shining though, everything hit him again. Everything was different. No filming videos outside, no seeing his friends, no family, everyone was feeling down a bit.

At day, he didn't think much about it. Little frustrations, yes, but he would just complain about it to the boys. It was in the evenings when he realised what was happening in the world, and that no one could possibly be happy right now.

Including himself.

He hated it. So much.

Everything around him reminded him of the fact that nothing has been the same for a long time now, and that things weren't as good as he told himself they were sometimes. Would it ever be the same again and get better? He always thought it would. But now, he kind of lost his hope that everything could go back to normal again. He hated it.

He saw it online. Their fans aren't happy either. Maybe that's what he hated the most. The people who supported him until the end, who loved him so much and showed that in every way possible, weren't feeling okay. He wanted to see them, hug them and tell them one by one it's going to be alright. But he couldn't.

No, the thing he hated the most was that his best friends were sad too. No one really talked about that anymore - they did in the beginning - but you could see it. It was less noisy in the house, everyone was tired, no one played music anymore. It wasn't like everyone was walking around depressed either, but it just wasn't the same and that didn't sit right.

"Harry, are you coming?" A sweet voice behind him said, breaking his train of thoughts.

He barely cried. He didn't know why. Lately he wanted to, but he couldn't. The anger and sadness over it all was replaced by a very empty feeling. But now he wanted Ethan to comfort him, he wanted him to hold him and listen to him, and say it was going to be alright. So tears stung in his eyes when he heard his voice.

Harry turned around and quickly looked forward again, not knowing for sure what to do. His skin was itchy, wanted to be comforted - needed to. Something was pushing him towards Ethan, another thing held him where he was standing, vision still focused on the lights of the city, but blurry by the tears.

He wasn't supposed to cry over this. Other people had it worse. He had a job, money, friends- no, family around him. He shouldn't cry.

"Boggy, are you okay?" Ethan came closer. His sight blurred completely, the lights outside nothing more than just red and white dots against a black background. His eyes were burning and his throat was hurting as he tried not to cry.

"It's okay, babe. You can cry" The elder said when he stood next to him.

Harry just shook his head. No. He couldn't.

"You're always the one telling me crying is good. Now listen to yourself."

So he did.

As soon as Ethan put his hand on his shoulder, he let it out. He let out what he kept inside for so long. Couldn't any longer. He broke down in Ethan's arms, sobbing for the first time since long, clinging to his chest to hide from everything.

"It's okay, baby. I'm here," Ethan whispered to him, "let it out." He was crying too, though. A part of him hated to see Harry cry like this. He didn't want him to be sad. But he knew he needed this so he just held him until he calmed down a bit, which took quite some time.

Harry felt like the stream of his tears would never end, that he would never feel better than he did now although that was stupid to think. He would be alright. Ethan was holding him, not letting him go. It was okay.