I tiptoed across the creaky kitchen floor, peaking over Jug's shoulder as he read Pride and Prejudice at the table. He must've felt my presence, my gaze, or a combination of the two. His black mop of hair flew around as he spun his head, his smile brightening as soon as his eyes met mine. I found myself loosing myself in them, the dreamy blue drawing me further into my own thoughts and imagination. They had a particularly unique glisten to them, one that sparkled curiously with a hint of mischief, inviting me to join in on the gleeful antics on whatever he'd been thinking about in that moment.
My tongue poked out of my mouth subconsciously to wet my lips, and I choked on a breathe as soon as I came to that realization. I coughed with embarrassment, clearing my throat and steadying myself before I coerced my smile back to my face.
"Betts? You alright? How're you doing since... well, since your little milestone moment earlier?", my mentor asked me warmly, extending an arm towards the seat beside him for me to take. I accepted his invite, smoothing down his baggy sweatpants that I'd changed into out of habit from doing the same with my skirt.
I felt a wave of strength wash over me, compelling me to rebel against everything I'd been told in celebration of the earlier events that day. That's when I looked back up at him, lifting my arm up slowly, my hands gripping and pulling the ponytail holder out of my too perfectly smoothed hair. He watched, eyes crinkling as he grinned with pride, while I did the same.
"I want to talk more. It can be about anything, really. I'm just... I'm in the mood, now that I've gotten some of the previous weight lifted off my chest. But if we could not talk about-".
"Tell me about high school and about college. I know your mom was still very controlling of you even then, as you've said. However, I'd still like to know more about your experience, if that's okay. Besides, I'm sure there's still some good that came out of it.". He could see the lack of enthusiasm on my part, his beaming expression only faltering slightly.
"I'll tell you about my experience if you do. Deal?".
I nodded reluctantly. Though I didn't particularly want to share much more about my past, much less about that particular era, I'd learned that I might feel better by doing so. Besides, I wanted desperately to learn more about the man full of mystery. He's been so kind as to focus on me the whole time, and in my selfishness and self-pity, I'd slipped and hadn't thought of asking more about his life. I knew so little. I was confident he had a story.
"Well, high school and college were... nightmarish, to put it simply. They were the definition of terrible. I was under an immense amount of stress from both myself and my mother. It quickly became close to unbearable, but I trudged through it. I couldn't be thought of as the town disappointment, so I worked as hard as I could, all things considered.
It also didn't help that I literally wasn't allowed to have friends. It came to the point where I wanted to rebel and make maybe one friend, but my social anxiety had built up. I found myself unsure of how to speak to people, much less ask them to talk to me to begin with. That was far out of my comfort zone.". I tasted a small amount of blood, noticing that I'd been chewing on the inside of my cheek, both out of resentment and anxiousness. Jug didn't hesitate with his response, seemingly pleased.
"Well, we've made tremendous progress on the speaking part, now haven't we?", he pointed out, shoulders hunched while his arms flew up excitedly. He took a deep breath, having to recollect himself from his high point, caused from our newly recognized accomplishment.
"Also, you worked incredibly hard, as you've said, and I wouldn't expect any less from you. I mean that in the best way possible, not to stress you out. I can assure you that you weren't the town disappointment. How did it all go in terms of grades?".
"I didn't get valedictorian like I was supposed to. I was a few GPA points off in both high school and college. I didn't work nearly as hard as I should've. My mom gave me the second chance when I went off to college, and I failed her that time, too.". Shame overwhelmed me once again, my thumbs twiddling in my lap as I tapped random patters onto the wooden floor with my foot as a mindless distraction before I felt the heat of a hand on my shoulder.
"It doesn't sound like your mom gave you chances, Betty, and that's not your fault. Besides, that's far far from failure! You had to deal with school along with your mother and everything else, yet you almost got valedictorian. I can almost guarantee you that whoever got the certificate wasn't going through nearly as much as you were and are right now. Think about that, Betty. Think about it. Your situation was uniquely difficult, yet you still managed to be a top student. You deserve a pat on the back, not self-criticism. I'm so proud of you, you know.".
"You're proud of me? Really?", I entreated quietly, urging myself to hold myself together and praying that he would tell me the truth. I figured he would, but I couldn't help but doubt.
"Why wouldn't I be? That's fantastic. Besides, think of how many people you surpassed academically.".
His eyebrows furrowed, acknowledging or implying that I aught to agree with him, his lips curled faintly upward before his eyes softened. His foot lightly made contact with mine, placed on top to halt its rapid movement, and I felt any cheeks run pink as I giggled playfully.
"Yeah... I guess you're right. I am pretty great sometimes.".
