A few weeks later...
The fuzziness of the woolen carpet beneath my tired feet soothed them, allowing them to relax, along with legs that sprawled against the cool wooden floorboards. My back slumped against the bottom of the couch, my head resting between Jug's legs as he read his book with his legs tossed over my shoulders, his steady, tranquil breathing setting the pace for all other distressed beings in the room to follow along.
I let my hand fall to his right foot, sitting right beside my waist, and observes as my thumb massages circles into his warm, soft skin at his ankle. The birds watched from outside the window, their intricate and various shadows looming over, peering at us as my curiosity grew once more.
Jug produced not a single strained noise, nor did he endure any twitches in recognition of my presence with him. The only signifier of my company, to him, were his legs entrapping me against the sofa.
"What're you reading, love?", I asked, softly breaking the silence. "It must be very captivating.".
"Sorry...", Jug murmured back, folding over the crinkly page to hold his spot before he looked down at me questioningly. "I'm reading 'All the Bright Places'. Why do you ask?".
"Well, it must be a very good book so, obviously, it caught my interest. Can I have a read maybe? Or you could read it to me, if you'd prefer.".
He grimaced, setting the book aside and untangling his legs from around me before turning me around completely to face him, leaning down to match my height on the floor.
His eyes shone, the morning light reflecting in, the birds now chirping louder as if conversing with us. But his eyes were guarded with concern and uncertainty.
"Betty, I don't think that's a good idea... at least not yet, okay?".
"Why, Jughead?". My mood shifted abruptly, suddenly incredibly irritable and frustrated with his unwillingness to comply without struggle.
"I'm 25 damn years old, not 5. I'm not a child. I should be able to choose what I can and can't read.
Seriously, though, since when did you become my parent? I should have full discretion.". He flinched at my sudden use of the harsh tone, clearly restraining from throwing his hands up defensively. Instead, he took a deep breath, closing his eyes slowly and composing himself while his hands found my shoulders.
"Betts, the book has some pretty triggering topics written throughout it. I just... I don't want you getting upset or-or slipping back. I'm doing this because we're making great progress. You have the right to make your own decisions, yes, but I will not be reading this to you. I'm not going to be responsible for you falling back.".
"That's the dumbest thing I think I've ever heard, Jughead, and I've heard my fair share of unjust bullshit. Seriously, what kind of control freak are you?".
I rocked backwards, falling with a gentle thud and an exaggerated huff. I watched the fan spin endlessly, letting myself get lost while I took a moment to recollect myself.
Did I really just yell at him and call him a control freak because he's trying to protect me? Seriously, Betty? What the hell is your issue? My lord... you're a piece of shit.
I hurriedly picked myself back up off the ground, biting the inside of my cheek before I opened my eyes to find a conflicted Jughead, staring at the clenched fists lying in lap limply, nostrils flaring and forehead creased. He began to blink rapidly, the way you do when on a boat, trying to keep the wind and water from flooding into your eyes.
"Oh, God. Juggie, I'm so so sorry. I didn't mean what I said. Hell, I don't even know why I got so upset. Please-".
"They called me a control freak back in high school. You know, before they would shove me into a locker and begin tearing up or stomping on my stuff and run away snickering.".
I swallowed a gasp back, myself furiously blinking back tears while bouncing my now criss-crossed legs to unravel the knot in my gut.
"I-I didn't know. I'm so sorry, Jug. You know that's not true at all, right? I know that's not true. You were just trying to help. I didn't mean it. I got irrationally angry, and I'm so so sorry. You have to believe me. Please forgive me, baby.". I stood up, cupping his face and bringing it to my chest, my breathing accelerating while his slowed.
"It's okay, Betty.", he replied monotonously, refusing to give way to any display of emotions, as shown by his lack of change in his facial expression.
"But you're clearly still upset.".
He smiled against my chest, ruffling his own hair against my shirt and nuzzling his cheek into it next.
"I'm fine, Betty. I forgive you. I know you didn't mean it.".
I let my hand breeze through his hair once before taking a rushed step backwards, starting towards the back door without sparing a second glance back.
"Baby, where are you going?".
"Outside. I need to think.".
