I began to regain consciousness, feeling woozy and disoriented. I felt as if I were rocking back and forth, my air limited as if my face were smothered, but not the the point where breathing was impossible. My sight remained empty, but I could feel them moistening, my eyelashes following suit. There was a subtle buzzing in my eyes, gradually growing louder and louder the more I awoke.
There was a heavy lavender scent in whatever it was that I was inhaling against.
"I-I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. This is all my fault. Pl-Please wake up, Betts. I'm begging you. I n-need you here. D-Don't tell me you crossed over. C-Come back. Wake... Wake up.".
"Juggie?", I croaked against what I made out to be his shoulder. It was him who had been rocking me frantically, rubbing my back continuously and anxiously, coaxing me back to him.
He hurriedly pulled my head off of his shoulder, my face inches apart from his as he gasped and choked with relief, an indescribable, exasperated grin replacing the trembling pout that had been there previously.
"Oh!", he exclaimed in a whisper, pressing his lips onto my forehead, lingering there for what seemed like ages, a time that I wish hadn't ever ended, but also itched to escape from considering everything that had happened to what I'd gathered to be the day after due to the fresh morning sunlight blasting through the windows.
For the first time, Jug seemed exhausted, filled to the brim with fatigue.
He didn't sleep, did he?
I felt his warm cheeks make contact with my hair, immediately drawing my attention to them instead.
"God, Betts. You-you had me terrified. I thought you weren't g-going to wake up.".
I urged myself to smile, but it fell again when my eyes fell back onto his lips, the same ones that had muttered the once adorable phrase.
My eyes began to water. My felt like it was swelling. The dryness in my throat was near overbearing.
"J-Jug, I- I can't be here. You... You called me- I don't think- I'm sorry, I'm sorry...", I rambled as I struggled to find the strength to form comprehensible sentences.
"Woah... Woah, hey, slow down. I'm here, Betts. Here, can you feel my heartbeat?", he asked, placing my hand gingerly in his chest. I bit my lip, desperate for an outlet, which he noticed. He reached up, unhooking my teeth before cupping my cheek, bringing our foreheads together.
"Just breathe with me, okay? That's all I want you to focus on. Can you do that for me, Betty? See? It's easy... In... Out... In... Out... There you go... You've got it... Good...", he prompted patiently, keeping me encapsulated in the warmth of his arms.
~~
"You feeling a little better, ba-Betts?".
I nodded, but only out of a sort of compliance, as if he expected me too confirm that I was. Truth be told, I felt calmer than before, but calmer and better are two completely different comparatives.
"You said that I said something, which I'm assuming triggered you. Can you tell me what that is? I completely understand if that's too hard, okay? I only want to know so that I can help you.". I could feel his breath hitch every few moments, him clearing his throat after his voice had cracked in between words.
"I-It's, I, um... I-I c-can't. I can't. I can't go back, Juggie. Please don't m-make me.", I pleaded softly, grasping onto fistfuls of his shirt. He responded tacitly, laying down on the floor with me still atop him while massaging circles along my spine.
"I understand. It's all okay, pr- oh my God. That's it, isn't it?". The circles came to a sudden halt, his chest held up with an anxious breath. I said nothing in response other than hugging his torso.
"I was r-raped, Juggie.".
