Here I am now, 15 years later. It's been 15 years since I left Jug, 15 years since I finally mustered the courage to tell my mother off, and 15 years I left the hospital with Toni.
It hasn't been easy, believe me. I still haven't completely come to understand that the love of my life died before I tried to do the same, and the fact that I met him somewhere beyond this planet.
It's been hard to accept that I'll never see him again, at least not until I die.
Toni has been helping me. She understands that I'm in a great deal of pain, but she doesn't know why. I'd prefer not to be sent off to some insane asylum in the middle of nowhere.
Jug aside, Toni has been helping me get back to normal, similar to how I was with Jug. It wasn't the same, but I try my hardest to stay true to what Jughead told me to do, and what I promised him I would do.
He asked me to live a happy life; to seize this chance to redeem it. He taught me how to feel, and it was my responsibility to carry that over to real life.
Which I did.
Toni has been an incredible first friend. I live with her in her house, just like I have been for the past decade and a half. I wouldn't change it for anything in the real world.
I don't cry every night anymore. I remember that Jug wouldn't want that for me.
He would want me to reminisce the beautiful moments of my life here and my time with him, and remember that I am to cherish those with everything I am.
Even if painful times come, I have to hold on to what I have been given. I don't have to be damaged if I choose not to be. I chose to build a life for myself. I chose to get better.
I know that Jug will always watch over me. I can sense the passion of his eyes tingle my skin each morning as I awake and with every sigh of relief when I go to sleep. Sometimes I swear that I can feel his presence behind me, occasionally along with a chill brushing over my shoulder as if his hand were there.
Who knows if Jug and I will meet again in the afterlife... but that's besides the point.
People are worthy of a second chance. Anyone can be. Life can be worth living if you allow it to be as such.
He helped me see that. I couldn't be more grateful for the gift I'd been generously given.
I can finally live my life how I was always supposed to...
... because he helped me feel again.
