The next morning...
The calming aroma of the vanilla-lavender air freshener infused my pervaded my lungs, overwhelming me with foreign since of what I assumed to be serenity. The gut-tightening sensation in my stomach had ceased this morning.
Vanilla-Lavender. Vanilla-Lavender? I don't recall ever using that...
My eyelids fluttered open, coming to my senses as the bedroom door creaked open, a goofy smile plastered onto his face. "Good morning, gorgeous!", he exclaimed with more pep than I'd heard in my lifetime. "I made you some waffles for breakfast. I hope they taste alright.". I pulled myself into a sitting position, setting my head against the headboard as he placed the warm plate in my lap.
I could feel my face brighten as it filled with delight. Delight? That's a new one. "Jug...", I gasped. "These look amazing!! You didn't have to do this for me!", I exclaimed, though doubt soon replaced that enthusiasm. My heart sank to my stomach as my lungs began to sank once more.
"Hey! No, no don't cry! Betty, what's the matter?". He was on the bed next to me in a flash, hands grasping my shoulders as he caressed them with his thumbs. "What's going on? Why the sudden change? What happened?". The concern he displayed only continued to make things increasingly worse as I allowed my mind to drag me under the layer I had resided in before.
So I sobbed. "J-Jug. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm-I'm such a b-burden.", I wailed, guilt and remorse chaining me back down where I belonged. "I don't deserve anything. I don't deserve you. You're too nice to me, and I'm nothing but a little bitch. Mom was right. She was always right. I'm nothing but a selfish waste of space who-".
"Betty!", Jug shouted. He'd been trying the entire time to calm me down through my rant, but I was too busy reabsorbing my own thoughts and feelings to hear. I forced my mouth shut as my eyes stared into his, the tears in mine reciprocating in his. "Betty. You're none of those things. None. You're not a burden. You're not a selfish little bitch. You're most definitely not a waste of space.", he prompted.
"You, Betty Cooper, and a beautiful, kind, smart girl who hasn't had a chance to see what the world can offer. Your mom pressed horrible, self-deprecating thoughts into your body, leaving you predisposed to believing that you are somehow less than everyone else. That's all but true. I already know that you're a lot more deserving than most, pressured by both yourself and others to live up to this unrealistic expectation, which you have managed to do in their eyes. You just need stability. You need support. That's what I'm here for, okay? I offered to take this job to help you... settle in here, and I don't plan on retracting that offer.".
And then he hesitated, nibbling anxiously onto his lip as he gazed at a spot next to my head before letting his eyes return to mine. "Come here.", he said, opening his arms wide for me to fall into. "Y-You don't have to if you don't want to... I just want you to know that I-".
He shut up when I closed out every negative thought racing through my head, leaving me feeling numb and helpless, and in need of that hug. I collapsed forward, burying my head into his shoulder, crying with dry eyes, as if my tear ducts had been sewn shut. His hand slid to my back as the other gently placed itself onto the back of my head, both beginning to gingerly rub their designated areas as he took long, slow breaths for me to follow.
I allowed myself to do such, catching strong whiffs of his scent. He smelled like cool peppermint and lavender, urging my nerves to ease. He rested his cheek onto the top of my head as I felt them rise into a soft grin.
"I knew the lavender would relax you.".
