The Thing about Falling ✓

Twenty Six • The Pub

Athena

I never meant to hide anything after promising to tell the truth.

I was an advocate of all things good. It was one of the things that I always wanted to remain constant and yet, things are changing. I can feel it.

It was yet another regular day into the afternoon where I was all alone with my thoughts. The days were starting to get chilly so I grabbed a cardigan as I went out. If Owen was out doing whatever in the library by himself, I might as well do something for me.

And so I ventured out of campus and decided to meet someone. Again.

I didn't bother taking some sort of transportation vehicle to take me to my destination. I always liked walking. The feeling of the breeze gently crisping up your skin tickles me as I strolled outside the university grounds and headed toward a pub he and I always met. 

I didn't have a choice. 

These past few weeks, Elliot started showing up in my dms and texts as either an anonymous number or a hidden account. He had always been secretive, that asshole. Despite my previous attempts to finally remove him from my life, he always made sure he would somehow creep his way back to me. And so I let him.

I couldn't let myself be haunted by a former flame. I don't feel the heat of it whenever I'm with him anyway. I only feel chills running along the ends of my spine.

What started as a one-time meet-up turned into regular ones once Owen started being busy with school again(which is why he usually goes to the library these days, as he says, to focus). I feel bad for constantly bugging him with nosy questions a mother usually asks a kid. I couldn't help it. I wanted to protect him from whatever's going to boil down after this thing I have with Elliot. I need to settle things with him first before I can finally live without fearing someone watching me.

I finally arrived at the pub Elliot and I always met. Our usual spot was the far end by the bar area, he always liked something to drink whenever we talked. As usual, he was already there, waiting patiently as he sat on the dark, wooden stools around the counter, his head slung low.

I walked up to him slowly and silently sat a seat apart from him. Elliot looked up in my direction, eyeing first the blank seat beside him before turning his gaze up to meet my eye. He snorted.

"All these times we've talked and now you've decided to distance yourself?" he said laughingly as he took a swig from his bubbly, golden beer and drank a little.

"It's better than texting you from the other side of the counter." I mumbled back.

Whenever we would meet to talk out our terms, I always made sure to be a good distance away from him. Elliot always manages to hold my hand whenever we're close enough. I just increased our gap. His hands are rough, calloused and strong; too strong for my tastes, rather. I prefer gentler ones.

"I always thought it was ridiculous to be texting someone just a few feet away from you." he spat as he sipped his beer again.

Still, I couldn't help but smile a bit at how genius it was to use technology as a mode of communicating with an utter dickhead. My sanity is intact and my thoughts are clear whenever I text him from afar. It's a huge win for me, I guess.

"I don't want you near me. I have my reasons." I said as I shrugged and crossed my arms over my chest, leaning toward the counter a bit.

He and I were both quiet. We both know to ourselves that we still have a lot to talk about. I disliked every minute of it, actually. I felt my legs fidget under the counter, restless as the balls of my feet kick the partition between us and the actual bar. Eventually, Elliot cleared his throat and asked the bartender for another round. He got another mug and drank a little before turning to me, unbelievably looking sober.