The Thing about Falling ✓

• The Thing about: Wabi-sabi •

Owen
Fate.

I never believed in such a thing. The whole concept of it just sounded so cliche and romanticized, I could just vomit.

I was stupid. Well, I still am in some certain fields yet that doesn't change the fact that fate doesn't exist. Destiny doesn't either, to be honest. It's all just a bunch of baloney.

Well, not until Athena.

If you think that I believe in such things as fate and destiny now that I met her, you thought wrong. I still think believing in fate and destiny is like still believing in Santa as a teen. Athena on the other hand, is a breath of fresh air. She defies all definitions of fate and destiny. With her, she just makes the impossible possible and that may or may not include her actually liking me.

She's a warm glow of sunlight in the morning and a cool breeze of wind in the afternoon. She even comprised the subtle shimmer of the stars at night every time I look out the window before I go to bed.

Call me some random guy from the Fire Nation or Prince Zuko from ATLA but everything changed when I fell for her.

Literally.

My balance just couldn't get any worst and it happened on the day that was supposed to be perfect in every way. My legs already suck but falling over a girl whose whole being just screams 'beautiful' sucks even more. Talk about the embarrassment.

Even with that set in stone, I would do anything for her.

Athena.

Hearing her name makes my chest go crazy and the mere sight of her makes me want to romanticize everything. Seriously. If I were in a different life in a different time where ponytails are the fad, I would climb up her castle tower and rescue her from some obese dragon. I would be her savior and she would be my damsel.

Weirdly, things aren't like that.

Between us, Athena's the one who saved me and I am that unfortunate damsel she rescued from total isolation. I am in a wheelchair after all. I can't do much and I thank Athena everyday for keeping up with my sorry arse. It's a miracle she hasn't broken up with me yet. Well, one moment when I accidentally ran over her foot with my chair, I might as well thought Athena would surely break up with me but instead of hearing her utter those words, she just cursed loudly and jumped all over as she held her toe.

It may seem ridiculous but from that moment, I knew something was up. I was honestly okay with it because as I unintentionally rolled over her foot, something amazing clicked.

I'm a rather avid reader of anything that I find interesting and that does not exclude labels on shampoo bottles or grocery lists. From what I've gathered, there's this Japanese aesthetic called Wabi-sabi. It may sound incredibly similar to that green thing they put in their food but it's rather far from that.

Wabi-sabi is what people can call a worldly view centered on the acceptance of imperfection. We accept all kinds of cracks and brokenness in this kind of perspective and instead of making a fuss about our own intrapersonal cracks, we make them our own. We celebrate them. We nurture and learn to love them as they are.

My body, physically, is full of cracks. I was in an accident that landed me in a wheelchair and starting a few years back, I actually accepted it and moved on with whatever I want to do with my life. I don't mind it as much as before yet seeing my body ridden with scars from surgeries and broken glass and how lifeless my legs look now that they're losing muscle slowly just made me all so conscious of how I present myself to others.

Athena just fixed that for me.

She may be sarcastic and snarky most of the time but she never did let a day pass by without letting me know how much she appreciates me. She's the gold to my cracks. She's my glue.

Though she does that for me, I don't know for sure if I ever do the same for her. Athena went through tough times and I am trying my best to keep her as happy as she can be in ways that I can make possible. She may act superior but deep inside, she's as sensitive and broken as I am. We need each other not to fix what's wrong with us, but to complement.

That's what wabi-sabi meant for me. We appreciate and grow to admire even the things that aren't deemed worthy of attention and actually develop a sense of acceptance. Of life and of self, that is.

With Athena around, everything just seems a bit more colorful and a little less toxic. What can I say,

I'm in love.