Pumped-Up Kicks 2

1.2

Logan
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"Love." The words fell from her full lips like a prophecy was chanted. And she pressed her lips to mine once again but I knew that I had to stop her.

"Jessa." I pushed her off of me and gave her a stern look that said she needed to control herself. "I don't think we should be together." I spoke slowly not trying to hurt her feelings that she had built.

"Logan. I really think that the only reason you're rejecting me is because of Telly. And you and I both know, that she wants to tear you apart." She took a step back and crossed her arms again giving me a look of disapproval.

"You can't break a broken heart Jessa." I shook my head. It was true. You can't spiral if you've already crashed. Jessa needs to understand that I know I should let go but I just can't.

"You said it yourself that you knew you needed to let her go."

"Jess. I don't want to let Telly go. In fact, I want her to hurt me again."

"That's crazy."

"It's beyond crazy." I agreed with her. It was totally irrational to not want to let her go. Especially after all the shit she's put me through.

"She'll just cause you more pain and drive you nuts." She shook her head making the strands twist.

"The pain hurts. But in a way I'm glad. It proves that this was real. And she's the only thing that keeps me sane."

"I don't get it." Jessa spoke lowly and ran a hand through her hair clearly confused. "You're so confusing. I don't understand you." She was frustrated with how I didn't feel the same way. One she was rushing into things and two even if I did like her the possibilities of us dating were pretty slim.

"There's nothing to understand. I'm sorry but I just don't feel the same way."

"No. You're saying that because you don't want to hurt Telly anymore than what you already have. And to be honest it doesn't matter because she has a boyfriend."

"Fuck her boyfriend. I really don't care. It won't last because her last boyfriend is in the grave."

Jessa froze permanantly glued to her place trying to process my deep dark secret. "What do you mean her last boyfriend is in a grave. What happened to him?" She pleaded for answers that would make sense in all cases.

"I'm dangerous Jessa." I breathed out accepting my faults and my sins finally. I couldn't escape my problems anymore than she could now that I've dragged her down with me.

"How did he really die Logan? I want you to tell me the truth." She placed her hand on my face trying to search for an answers behind my eyes. You might as well tattoo it across my forehead. "Won't you tell me?"

"I can tell you. But I shouldn't. So I won't." I shrugged not giving her answers.

"If you're dangerous and have done some maniac things, doesn't that mean that you could hurt me?" She rose her eyebrows knowing the answer to her question.

"I could."

"But you won't hurt me." She shook her head knowing damn well that she shouldn't tease me in the middle of the woods.

"Why do you say that?" I snaked my hand up her bare arm and squeezed hard feeling her perfect skin.

"Because it hurts your chances with this Telly character in the end."

"How?" I squeezed again becoming frustrated with the way she seems to be drawing me in. I was supposed to be running away from my problems not taken back.

"Because if you hurt me I tell Jase. I tell Jase and he gets pissed at you then tells Telly. If he tells Telly that you hurt me, how would that make her feel?"

"Like I can't be trusted." I put the pieces together. For someone so stupid she was pretty smart.

"Exactly. And you want her to trust you right?" I nodded agreeing with her logic. "I would hope so. But she clearly is afraid of you. You traumatized her when she found out about whatever you did to her boyfriend." Jessa crossed her arms over her chest again starting to close her case.

"They were broken up and Telly isn't afraid of me. She just doesn't want me right now. She'll come around."

"How do you know?"

"Your brother might be a fucking dipshit, but he's never wrong. Has he been wrong about you?"

She opened her mouth to argue but couldn't form an argument. I plastered
a smirk on my face. She pouted when she knew she couldn't win. Because in every way I'm right about Jase even if you don't want me to be.

"But, he told you that you guys aren't supposed to be together right now. And take a look at reality Logan. She has a boyfriend right now. One that she's not afraid of. One that she trusts. One that she loves." She started torturing me again.

"It's amazing how much alike you two are."

"I can guarantee you. He's making her feel better than you ever can at this moment."

"Stop." I put my hand over her mouth to seal her crude words. She knew exactly what she was doing to me and it was complete bullshit.

"It's just the truth Logan. And the sooner you realize that she's no good for you, the better." She removed my hand from her lips and spoke again.

"I can't let her go. And you can't make me. It's how I feel."

"What if I could change that?"

I didn't have an answer. So I clenched my jaw and pressed my lips together. Jessa drove me completely crazy. I hated her for being right in most cases. I loved her for being so smart. I don't know what I felt toward her but it was instantly becoming stronger with every passing minute.

Everything was easy with Jessa. There weren't obstacles with every turn I took like there was with Telly. It wasn't complicated in the least bit. So maybe Jessa was right. The sooner I let go of Telly, the less stressful everything will be.

But deep down inside along with my last shred of dignity, there was a pitiful amount of hope begging me not to let go.

It's hard to not let go when Jessa's lips are on mine. But I tried to forget that I felt something for Telly. And I tried to forget all the memories we made together. And I tried to forget that I was pushed against the tree with our names engraved in its bark for the rest of time. And I tried to forget everything. Because being oblivious was better than feeling empty with everything.

(I really like this chapter because its not shitty and Telly isn't in it actually yay! I also like it because its all in Logans POV which is amazing because I have trouble tapping into his brain at times. Anyway I'm off to write more now. Bye freaks. Love you guys.xxx.)