Pumped-Up Kicks 2

5.9

Logan (daddy AF)
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If I told you that I liked the plane ride here, I'd be lying. I hated every second I spent in those second class felt seats. It was just another second that I would spend away from Telly, like I needed to waste anymore damn time.

I was practically praising God when I slumped in one of those really hard plastic blue seats that's attached to the wall. I was tired, hungry, nervous. Too much feelings at the same time. I'm here, on a coast that's totally foreign to me.

Here in New York.

The same city that has Telly, roaming around the streets and shopping.

The same city where she either finally believes me when I tell her that I love her, or not. And I really couldn't bare the thought of her not believing me. Not anymore. This literally is the last straw because I'm losing my goddamn mind just chasing her and dancing around the elephant in the room. Seriously though, there was no possible way that she could prove that I didn't love her. I fucking followed her to New York City without anything but the shirt off my back. I didn't bring anyone with me. Hell, I don't even have the money to breathe in this stupid, high-end, place.

I closed my eyes and leaned my head back, softly banging it against the wall. Damn, I'm a fucking idiot. Here I am, alone in an airport bustling with people on business trips and a day late for their last summer vacations and such thinking about a girl, who is sleeping soundly in a bed that's not hers. I must look so pathetic, in a dirty white t-shirt and ripped jeans and the first pair of shoes I could find. My hair is a mess and I probably smell like a Friday night. There's 2 black book bags in between my legs and I really need to eat something. My stomach is growling louder than a wolf because I refuse to eat that nasty airplane food that they shove in your face.

No I wouldn't like a pack of peanuts. No thank you, your spaghetti and meatballs is ketchup and noodles. No ma'am I wouldn't like a sandwich. There is nothing that you could get me, thanks anyway.

I sighed, and opened one of my bags, searching for something to drink. I accidentally left my wallet in the other pair of jeans at home so I only have 5 dollars to get me through New York City. I shuffled everything around in those bags. There was nothing. No water or iced tea or alcohol even. "Fuck." I whispered to myself. So I angrily zipped my bag up and crossed my arms over my chest, staring at the wall clock that read 3:24 am. There was no possible way that Louis would be awake. And there was nothing that I could do but try and sleep until my phone rang.

Except I haven't been able to sleep in days. I could run a marathon around this airport 5 times and I still wouldn't be tired enough. There was probably deep purple bags under my eyes because of my lack of rest. I didn't care to look in a mirror that I smashed.

I needed to think of something to say when I saw Telly. Man I really need to get out of this airport. It's too busy with people for me to think. Gross. I don't even know what to say to her to explain why I didn't get on that stupid plane with her.

Trial one:

"Telly, I'm so sorry. I know I should've gotten on that plane with you and I shouldn't have been messing around with Jessa."

Nah. I'm basically saying she's right and I'm wrong which about 99% of the time.

Trial two:

"Telly, there's probably nothing that I could do or say to make you forgive me."

Nope, that's not right either. It's too overplayed. She's heard those words come out of my mouth too many times.

Trial three:

"Telly, I know I've screwed up many many times for you to even forgive me. There are so many mistakes I've made that I wish I could go back and erase.

That could be the start to something good. I tried replaying the words over and over in my head, adding in some details, making it sound better.

I honestly don't even know why I'm doing this. If she wanted me, she wouldn't have been giving me such a hard time.

"See that's your problem right there."

Jase's voice echoed in my head from the last time we actually talked. I'm so selfish. Oh well. Whatever. I don't really care. I just really want her to believe me.

I want to be able to see Telly, and she won't be pissed off at me.

I want to be able to hold her hand without her pulling away.

I want to be able to kiss her and she would kiss me back because she wanted to.

I want, I want, I want.

I remember there was something she told me years ago. "There's a difference between what you want, and what you need." I never understood what the hell she was trying to tell me until now.

What I need, is for Louis to wake up and come get me out of this stupid airport.

What I need is to get food in my beyond empty stomach.

What I need is to see Telly.

(trash. this chapter is complete and utter trash. I'm sorry you had to read the above text because it was one of the worst things I've written in my whole life. xxx.)

ALSO SPECIAL SHOUTOUT AND THANKS TO @tcaniff19 FOR WRITING THE PART WHERE LOGAN IS BATTLING WITH HIMSELF ON WHAT HE'S GONNA SAY TO TELLY. I HONESTLY DON'T KNOW WHAT I WOULD DO ABOUT HER, SHES THE GREATEST SO YEAH THANKS GIRL!! PEACE OUT GIRL SCOUT!