Where I'd Gone ⌲ River Phoenix ((COMPLETED))

Safe and Sound

June 20, 1986

The Burton's have been amazing parents so far. Sure, I'm still shaken up about the whole thing, but I wouldn't ask for any other adoptive parents. I've tried to block out the idea that they really aren't my real parents.

John has been taking a lot of days off, I wasn't sure if he was laid off or he's just taking a break. He also has been drinking a lot, I was kind of worried for him. I know he can take care of situations like this though since he is a policeman and all.

I flushed away all the negative thoughts with music, especially the music on River's party tape. The first song was While My Guitar Gently Weeps by The Beatles.

The guitar started and George sang I look at you all, see the love that is sleeping while my guitar gently weeps.

As I twirled around the room with lust in my soul, I suddenly heard glass shatter outside my door. I didn't know if someone had dropped it, or even threw it. I didn't get up to inspect it, because Iris might just ask me to clean it up.

"I better not see you with a beer bottle ever again!" I heard Iris yell with raging anger.

"Then you won't ever see me again!" John yelled back. They'd been fighting ever since John had taken the "days off".

I heard the door shut as the song reached its climax. I still didn't want to inspect the outside perimeters so I just fell into my bed.

But then I got a sudden urge to play the piano though, but I didn't want to go while Iris was hurt. I'd been practicing the piece Rain had gotten me for my birthday and I just needed a few more hours to perfect it.

My telephone started to ring and I picked it up immediately.

"Hello?"

R: Hey Chris.

C: Oh... Hey.

R: You seem very happy to talk to me.

C: I'm not in the mood.

R: What happened?

C: John. He's been going crazy.

R: My sanity is going crazy.

C: Take a break then.

R: That's exactly what you have to tell John.

C: You have a way with words... But John has been taking this whole week off.

R: Some people need a longer healing time than others.

After that, I said goodbye and hung up. I just needed time to think.

June 21, 1986

I fell asleep to Michelle by the Beatles. The record was still on, but I just had to move the needle to get the music to turn on.

Iris and John seemed to settle down their disagreements, but John still had to sleep on the couch.

"Can you help me with this song?" I asked sleepy John and motioned over to the piano with Rain's piece standing on it. He stared at the television for a few seconds before he looked over at me. 

"I'm busy." And then he turned back to the flashing news. That's when I noticed he had a stash of beer bottles hidden under the couch.

"Busy with what?" I toned down my anger.

"I'm just busy," He said coldly.

"Please it will only take a few minutes I don't know just a few notes-" He cut me off and smashed the beer bottle he had picked up. Then he stood up from the couch and stared at me sharply. 

"Leave me alone!" He yelled. He's never yelled at me. Mickey came out of his room and walked between me and John. 

"Leave her alone mister!" Mickey treated him like he was a total stranger. Unfortunately, John had another piece of glass he grasped in his hand and I knew this was going to be bad. 

"Mickey just leave," I said quietly.

"No, Chrissy I won't let you get hurt!" He stood up to John. John forcefully slapped Mickey and he fell to the floor with a loud THUMP.

My jaw dropped as I saw Mickey's facial expression, he didn't seem to know that blood can gush out really fast. He fell to his knees, which were creating puddles of blood seeping into the carpet. He had slammed onto the glass of the beer bottles. The anger inside of me built up to a point where I couldn't handle it anymore, so I blew up.

"Why the hell would you do that?" I screamed at the top of my lungs. Anyone who hurts my little brother has to deal with me. I tore the glass out of his hands and slammed it onto the floor, not caring if I sliced my hand. John stepped back a little bit as Iris burst in at the perfect time.

"John! What the hell have you done!" She yelled quickly. "Christine clean up Mickey and please go to your room." She said sharply.

I picked up the now bawling Mickey and I locked the door. I sat Mickey up on the bed and made sure his cuts aren't getting worse. It was getting worse, the slice was just a few centimeters away from not hitting a vein. I ran into my bathroom and grabbed some toilet paper and cleaned up all the blood. 

"I'm so sorry about this Mickey." He looked up at me with tears flooding his eyes. Luckily the cuts weren't vertical, because you can't stitch those up. After I bandaged him up, I brought him into a hug. His tears were soaking up my sweater. "I won't ever let this happen to you again okay?"

He nodded into the hug. Throughout the day we never came out of my room. Mickey laid limply on my shoulder as I bounced around to Like a Rolling Stone by Bob Dylan. How does it feel? How does it feel, to be without a home, like a complete unknown? Like a rolling stone?

River called a few times, but I wasn't in the mood. I didn't want to listen to his sappy ill-fated love story with Martha. At bedtime, Mickey slept next to me. And I stayed up all night watching him, making sure he was safe and sound.

June 22, 1986

The next morning Mickey and I went to the kitchen table for breakfast. John was there, he was wearing a frown as he dug his spoon into his colorless oatmeal. I didn't give him any eye contact nor did I speak one word.

He dropped his spoon into the oatmeal and it splattered. "Look, Christine, Mickey, I don't know what came over me. I threw out all the beer yesterday and I am genuinely, utterly sorry." I could see in his eyes that he really meant it.

I looked over to Mickey who was staring at his cut knees."You hurt me daddy." Daddy. John's eyes bulged open as he realized that he's the only father figure Mickey ever had. 

"Man, Mickey... I-I'm so sorry. I love you." You could see the tears forming in his eyes. I think that's the first time Mickey's heard those words in a long time. We've been with the Burton's for almost 6 months, and I've never heard John nor Iris say they loved me or Mickey.

John embraced Mickey. I wanted to tear up right then and there. It was just such a beautiful moment. That moment when the adoptive parent accepts their adoptive child as one of their own.