Where I'd Gone ⌲ River Phoenix ((COMPLETED))

Disappointment

August 12, 1986

I walked into class looking extra dolled up, hoping he would make a move. I sat down looking all pristine and he looked over to me.

"Okay, class... Due to the fact that I'm lazy as hell, we are going to be in groups of four for the car project. If you're front row, turn the desk around and join the next row. Okay? Now get back to work." Said Mr. Johnson, the vaguely chubby teacher.

A blonde girl, with overly attractive features, turned around and I already knew I envied her looks. She transferred into industrial tech after knowing that you don't actually eat in home economics. I'm just happy to know there's another girl in this class.

Then subsequently a dirty blonde guy with a rather tall neck joined the table. He reminded me of the beach blondes in California, how they catch every wave every morning.

Later in the day, I found out their names were Colbie and Michael. Colbie immediately gave me her number after school, while Danny didn't even say one word.

August 20, 1986

The past few days, Colbie had been calling me nonstop about how much she liked Michael. I told her I liked Danny, and we literally would stay up all night, falling into the blissful state of having a crush. Deep down, I felt bad though because River called at this time, and I never picked up his call, but at the same time, it was nice to know I was finally making friends again.

Well, today at school I would talk to Danny about Led Zeppelin and about some random news on Robert Plant I'd spent hours reading in the library. His shell was cracking, and he was beginning to initiate the conversation with me.

August 23, 1986

It was River's birthday today and I finally bundled up enough courage to tell him my true feelings for him, hoping he would take it or leave it. He invited me to a little get-together at his house.

His earthy house welcomed me with a honeydew aroma, and I couldn't help but to just let it in. I knocked on the wooden door, and River's mom greeted me with a warm smile. "Hey, Christine!"

"Hey, um Mrs. Phoenix!" She scrunched her eyebrows.

"Please, call me Heart," she smirked and wrapped her arm over my shoulder. "River's been waiting for you. He's been wanting to tell you something ever since he left for the casting calls." I looked up at her emerald eyes, almost identical to River's.

"Really?" I smiled, and she nodded.

There was a bunch of people there, maybe 30. Most of the faces were strangers to me, but I did recognize one face out of the crowd.

"Hey Jerry," I smirked as I watched him take the whole tray of cheese and crackers.

"Oh... Hey!" He stuffed a few in his mouth as I started to say something.

"You okay? You know, from the whole unknowingly-eating-pot-brownies thing?" He chuckled.

"Yeah, I guess. I did get grounded for about a month though."

"Sorry man," he shrugged and I took a piece of celery then dipped it in the ranch sauce. "Can you believe River's 16?" I tried to change the subject.

"Yeah, he's old," he laughed. "What did you get him? I got him a gift card to that vegetarian place down the street."

"Well, I'm sure he'll love it. And it's a surprise... Something I've been working on for a while now."

"Talkin' bout River, there he is right now." He pointed to River's bedroom, and through the creek of the door I saw him with someone, but I just couldn't make out who.

Blonde hair . . . Blue eyes . . . Vaguely small face . . . Martha

I turned around sharply, running into Corey.

"Holy shit man, watch where you're going!" He shouted.

"Woah I'm sorry," I said, putting my hands up.

"I'm joking around man," he laughed to himself.

"Jeez I thought you were for real," I ate another cracker.

"Eh. Anyways when are you going to tell River you like him?" He said so nonchalantly that I was about to smack him.

"Shhh! Who told you?" I whispered sternly. I didn't want anyone to know about that, it's embarrassing. Especially River when he's with Martha.

"I don't know... it's pretty obvious If I may be frank," he thinks he's so slick.

"Does anyone else know?" I asked frantically.

"Nah, I'm the only person you know who can read minds," He laughed again. "And I'm pretty sure Martha's giving him the best birthday present here... So you might as well just leave." I knew exactly what she was giving him, and I didn't like it.

"Well at least I got him something," I looked over at his empty hands.

"You know me so well," he gave me a coy smirk and walked away.

Everyone joined onto the couch and River was crowded around, so he didn't see me. Everyone there was taller than me. He seemed to have a lot of adult friends... That's weird. I was growing impatient as everybody else's presents were being unwrapped when I was just stuck on the outside of the crowd, no way to get in.

"My present is waiting upstairs," Martha said seductively before anyone else could have their present opened. She had an impish look about her that I didn't like one bit. Then they got up, held hands, and walked upstairs. All while my present bag hung on my tense ring finger, waiting to be unwrapped and exposed.

I felt so perturbed that I was about to burst out the door. Maybe Corey was right, for once, maybe I might as well just leave. I took the book of poems in my hands, deciding that it wasn't done yet, leaving just a happy birthday card in the present bag.

I stood the bag onto the wooden table and walked out the door, hoping nobody would notice that I'm gone. I'm sure as hell River won't notice, anyway.