Where I'd Gone ⌲ River Phoenix ((COMPLETED))

Deep Feelings

At this part I knew I had been crying too much in the past few days, and I should start being stronger. And that's exactly what I did - or tried to do. Things got hard - difficult, fast. My world was crumbling before me in just matter of days. I wondered if it had been my fault. I couldn't just lose my mom. It would ruin me.

"What happened to mommy?" Mickey said with wide eyes. I put my hand on his shoulder.

"Oh... She's just sleeping, just a long sleep." I lied. Mickey looked around the room. "Well... When will she wake up?"

I didn't know how to answer his question. I didn't want to add more lies to everything I've said, so I decided that the truth is the right way. "Probably not for a long time Mickey..."

He looked to the ground and watched his shoes. "Who is going to take care of us Chrissy?" He asked.

"I don't know Mickey..." I said honestly.

"Can River take care of us?"

Those words hurt me. They sank deep into my heart, and quite frankly, I don't know why. I could just see in his eyes how much he really cared about River, even though they had just met. River had that kind of impact on you, and I know I'll never forget him. I kind of thought over my feelings for him.

But... Do I like him? Maybe I do... But there is something inside me telling me I shouldn't get attached. I've read many romance novels but I'd never thought they'd become my reality.

I remember all I wanted was Wil. And I thought River was overrated. But I guess the tables have turned. It reminded me of my mom and dad. They hated each other at first - to the point where they just knew it was love at first sight. Is that me and River?

I thought, maybe it could be love? But It can't. It... Couldn't. I just met this kid... Who might... Just might, love me back.

The thought of him lingered around in my mind, like gum stuck on your shoe. I couldn't stop thinking about him. And I was disappointed in myself for thinking abour tiny crush instead of my dying mother. I had to get out of there before I go crazy. "C'mon Mickey, lets go back home."

I closed the door behind me and left my mother to sleep. I walked out in the unwelcoming cold hospital air and looked around for the elevator.

After we got downstairs, we head out and thought about any way we could get home. "Can we walk back home?" Mickey suggested.

"I don't think so Mick, it's pretty far away, and it is freezing cold out." His hopeful grin turned into a frown.

"Then how are we going to get home?" He asked.

"I guess were stuck here till we find a way back." I admitted, full of sadness. I was hopeless, I couldn't find any way to get back home. I think we just stood there watching people pack into the hospital doors for 2 hours. We had nothing else better to do.

"Hey kids," this voice sounded familiar. But it wasn't River's voice. It was a deeper voice, a little groggy but I couldn't get a hook on whose it was.

I turned around to notice it was Officer Burton. "What are you guys up to?" He asked.

"We're just visiting our mom." I answered tired and emotionless. I leaned back onto the wall and watched him take off his hat.

"I'm real sorry guys," he put his hand on my shoulder and it felt like I got transported back to the moment he had first told us about her. "I'll be praying for her and hoping everything will turn alright." He flashed us a gentle, welcoming smile.

"Thank you."I said, happy to know that there's still hope for Mickey and I.

"Look if you kids need anything, I'm your guy." He added sincerely.