Not blood but family

Chapter 31

Dear diary,

This Is Ashley and Today is a good day , I feel like I'm going to be in a group of people that are crazy but loving ... today I spent the day with Perry , we sat on the beach while the rain was pouring down like bucket was poured on us , it felt good . Anyways I don't know what am I gonna do for the rest of my life but I know for sure that it's gonna be something fucked up ... I feel it coming , in my veins in my heart that something bad is gonna happen , I truly loved my brothers and my cousin but it just doesn't feel right I ask myself why don't I run away ... well I just don't want to abandon Erik , my baby brother , all I know is I'm his favourite, I was his first best friend , I went from , to teach him how to speak to how to talk to girls ... it broke my heart seeing him smile with an another girl but me because he was growing up and it's hard being the mother and seeing your little best friend growing up . I knew in his head I wasn't that best friend kinda sister I was just his favourite sister but not gonna lie there but I was jealous of Rian because from now on my brother is gonna spend is entire life with her and ill not gonna see him everyday and I cried last night I went to the beach and cried as where I couldn't go to sleep but I did it was 5 in the morning... and lyle well he as my respect for keeping his amazing girlfriend for so long he fought threw it and it made me happy . He was successful, now let's talk about me .. my addiction to weed haha it's hard but it helps with the pain right? It's better then sniffing some stuff right ... yeah but today I'm okay I'm with Perry the love of my life , he's the man I want to marry he's perfect for me , he also had a rough pass but he moved to into the woods right next to the ocean about 3 years now and we know him so well he used to come at my house and play tennis with the boys and be like a big brother to them ... his birthday is the same as mine ... 25/12/66 our birthday is coming up soon . Wanna know a secret ? Well I'm the one who's gonna know and not one person because it's my diary, okay so when it was my birthday Erik was just born so he was the spotlight of my birthday and I almost ran away but I had to watch Lyle and everyone came at my birthday and no one knew it was for my birthday it was just for Erik and that's why I love him so much because he was my birthday gift that I told myself that he was my birthday gift because it was the only present I had ... lyle was just my baby brother that I loved but he tried to kill me once when he was a child so that's why I kinda like gave a distance to him but today we are good ... anyways that's it that's all I wanted to write in my journal because I always wanted to become a writer so I kinda just wrote my life ... Anyways goodbye now

Ashley menendez
03/11/85