Summer with swayLA

Part 2 chapter 31

A few months later. TW

After a few almost trip ups we got there... well I think we did. I haven't cut or harmed myself in a two and a half months. I guess I've been doing okay. It's been really hard. Extremely hard for that matter. It took a lot out of me and there were times I thought I was going to trip up again but in those times the boys and my friends all came together and helped me out which I needed a lot. I'm not saying it's over. I don't know if it's over or not I just know that I'm getting by one day at a time and I'm proud of myself for getting this far.

I haven't had a nightmare in about a month maybe. Speaking to my therapist is really helping with them. She thinks the nightmares are deeper meanings. With the help and support of her they have died down quite a bit. My most recent ones were nowhere near as bad as the ones I have had in the past. Don't get me wrong their horrible and I wake up with a scream or with Bryce pulling me out of them but they aren't as bad as past ones.

Oh and the police have finally caught Hunter. Now they are just looking for Preston. It was a relief to have at least another one of those people arrested and I was glad this was almost over. I can kinda return back to a normal life. Just waiting for Preston to be caught and arrested.

However, my YouTube's really been taking off.  I've gained over one million subscribers and I'm doing alright at it, I believe. I show most of the time what it's like living in a house with nine wild boys and people seem to like it. I do other things like sit down videos every now and again just talking about some of my struggles and mental health. Giving out healthful tips and places to go. It seems to be some sort of stress relief when I get it finally all of my chest.

Well that brings me to today. I was halfway through filming a video.

Savannah-"okay so-"I began speaking to the camera before falling down the stairs slightly only to have Bryce catch me as he was walking past.
Bryce-"careful. Maybe you shouldn't vlog whilst walking down the stairs"
Savannah-"yeah I am careful." I said with a pout.
Bryce-"whatever you say, gorgeous" was his reply before pecking my lips.

I carried on talking to my camera as I walked through into the kitchen to see the sun blaring through. It was getting warmer and warmer these past few days and I know the marks on my arms are going to be visible for everyone to see when I start wearing more summery outfits. It did give me an anxious pit in my stomach but I have spoke openly about it to my friends and now my followers too.

I know what I went through wouldn't be the same as many people at home but me self harming would be so if I could spread awareness and help people in that situation I wanted to. Plus that was my duty now I'm classed as an influencer to influence people on topics and things in life. I want to influence people and show them there is another way and you don't need to self harm anymore.

As I was talking to the camera josh and Blake came in fake wrestling and pining each other to the wall and floor. I moved my camera so I could get them in it as I stood to the side. When they realised the were being filmed they quickly stood up brushing off their shirts and looking over to me.

Savannah-"what? You guys are the ones being idiots"
Josh-"why'd you stop speaking"
Savannah-"cause that's my thing."
Blake-"doesn't make sense"
Savannah-"to show my life and my life is speaking about random gibberish until two idiots come in and wrestle each other" I shrugged picking the camera up and walking out of the room.

I went into the hallway and found a pair of my trainers before slipping them on. I picked my bag up checking all my things as Anthony came running down the stairs.

Anthony-"ready?"
Savannah-"yep!" He smiled before we walked out to his car.

I climbed in the passenger side as he began to drive to avanis house. Me Avani and a few of the girls had decided to go out today and go shopping. The boys didn't particularly want me to with Preston Still around but it's not fair for me to never go out with them on a girls day. Like I have gone out when all the boys are their but this will be my first time out with the girls since everything has happened.

As we pulled up to avanis I let out a little squeak as Anthony turned to face me.

Anthony-"no going off in your own. No getting distracted. No talking to random people. No leaving the girls. No-"
Savannah-"yes I understand Anthony we've been through it before."
Anthony-"I know... have you got your phone fully charged? Keys? Money?"
Savannah-"yeah now stop stressing. Go spend the day with the boys. Without me for once. Go have fun. I will see you later"

He smiled at me before he shouted a be safe and I laughed walking up to avanis house. She let me in engulfing me in a hug. I knew the one person Anthony trusts the most with me other than Bryce is Avani so when me and her both asked I knew he wouldn't be able to say no. I was glad that she finally agreed it was time I came out with just the girls.

I was dragged into her house which I had been in plenty of times before and up to her room.

Avani-"you ready for the best day out with me" she smiled just as excited as I have been for today.