hey rockstar

eighty three ; babies, and engagement rings

We wait up, watching the clock and counting the hours ahead that Simone and Jeremy are back home. Neither of us are totally aware of how long labour takes. Jeremy texts at least once every hour sometime more if he's bored or something has changed but the later we get into the night the more exhausted I start to feel. I lean on Calum watching the tv with tired eyes and he leans his head on mine with a deep sigh.

"What's up?"

"Does having a baby hurt?" I frown looking up at him and he shrugs. "It was just a conversation starter."

I laugh to myself but nod anyways.

"I feel bad, she's gone through hours and hours of pain."

"Yeah, well they have medication to make it more bearable especially now. COuld you imagine?"

"I would have given up by now for sure."

"Cal, I don't think you can just give up on giving birth. You just have to do it."

"What about C-Sections."

"They do those if they have to. But it's a big recovery, I think. They'll try to have the baby naturally first trust me."

"I hope it doesn't take this long for you." I lift my head looking at him in the dark and he shrugs his shoulders. "What?"

"Babies?"

"Will I like babies, you like babies don't you want to have some?"

"Uh, yes I do but i didn't know you were even thinking about having them. I mean you're only 24.."

"That's not too young. And I mean that's all we really do in lockdown anyways..."he shrugs laughing at himself and I slap his chest.

"Serious Cal, be serious please."

"Fine. Yes I want to have kids with you as soon as possible, and as soon as you want to."

"I never thought you would want to settle down so quickly-"

"Okay well I just proposed," I shake my head.

"That hardly counts. Cause kids and babies mean you gotta swing by home more when you tour which is hard and maybe you don't wanna stop touring just-"

"Ah yes I do. But, I think you should come touring with us next year. I mean if you move here."

"I think i will, considering we're engaged and it's a little easier to be with all the other girls. But how am I going to work while on tour? I'm not the same as the others."

"You don't even need to work darling. You have money saved up, I Have money and I can support you. You don't have to work ever again if you don't want to."

"You circle to that everytime we talk about this."

"Cause it's true!"

"Yeah, but i love teaching and working. And it doesn't hurt to have a little extra money right?"

"Okay okay. You could teach online?" a pause. "Or maybe you could write a book about teaching? You like writing don't you?"

"I do, but writing a book on education is more difficult than you think it is."

"SO maybe you teach online, and then you could start a book about virtual teaching. It's pretty likely to start becoming a thing again."

"All these ideas because you want to have kids?" he laughs and shakes his head at me.

"No, all of these ideas because I want you to be happy, and busy, but also with me. We can have kids whenever. Maye we wait until we're actually married to have them."

"I feel like that would make our parents happy."

"I didn't even think about that," he bursts into laughter shaking his head. "Mum would be so mad at me, I'd never be able to have another child."

"Oh that's comforting."

"I'm just being honest with you."

"What did she say when you brought up the proposal?"

"She was probably more excited than me, you know how she is. She loves you more than I think she loves me. And for me to actually want to get married now is something she's not used to. So she definitely bitched me out to make sure I wasn't messin with you and that I meant it for real."

"Oh I love her."

"Yeah, she loves you too." I smile and lean my head back on his shoulder. "It's weird to think about hey?"

"Hmm? That we're kinda engaged."

"It is kinda weird to think about."

"I feel like a real adult," I laugh but nod.