hey rockstar

forty three ; so many thank you's

CALUM

The moment the words left her lips I knew her whole life change. I didn't question why she was here so much ear;ier than she was expected to, I didn't want to think about how she felt on the inside. Because even from the outside I can see how broken she is.

Tears are heavy streaming down her face, her whole body shakes as sobs take over her regular breathing. I do nothing but sit with her, running my fingers through her hair hoping, just hoping that she will lose her tears soon. But as the time ticks on, I begin to doubt that you'll ever stop crying.

Slowly, bit surely her sobbing subsides, but her breath is ragged as she drifts off into sleep. Carefully I adjust her in my arms, trying to gain enough grip to carry her into my bedroom. Her face is screwed up, and tears are still wet on her face as I manage to set her on her side of the bed. Carefully, I pull off her leggings and and set both Butterscotch and DUke with her - leaving the room.

When the door is closed I lower myself onto the floor, allowing a few tears to fall from my eyes. I have never seen somebody hurt so bad, I haven't felt tears and emotions truly destroy a somebodys body and drain their energy in years. A few moments pass, tears falling from my chin, before I step into the living room dialling Crystal's number first.

"Cal? Is everything okay?" HEr voice is rough, I know I just woke her up but I don't think I care.

"Tenley, she's here. Uhm...her mum died a few hours ago..." silence. There's silence on the other end echoing back at me as if I just spoke into the void. "She's safe, but pretty wrecked. I'm gonna just let her sleep and make sure she's healthy she was pale when she got here, and cold."

"Oh Cal...will she...will she see us today?"

"I don't know. You could try - i don't know if it'll make her feel better.

"Okay. We'll try to stop by later this afternoon. I will call everyone else okay? You just...be there for her, yeah?"

"Yeah," we both let out a shaky sigh at the same time.

"Cal, hon, are you alright?"

"I don't know honestly. That was a terrible thing to see, and I didn't really know Helena. I've talked to her only a few times but..."

"I understand. You should try and sleep when she does. I'll talk to you later," I nod to myself as she hangs up. I stare at my phone for a few minutes, contemplating calling TEnley's dad. He is such a kind man, and losing the woman you've loved for 23 years wuld destroy him. So I do.

The phone rings three times, before he answers. And when he does he sounds weak, and tired.

"Calum, hi kid."

"Hi Mr. Carmichael. I just wanted to let you know that Tenley is here," I choke on my words slightly, tears coming to my eyes once again. "She came early for some reason. And Uhm...She knows about Mrs. Carmichael."

"Oh my little sunflower," his sigh sounds so much like a scared father. 'Is she alright?"

"She's....no," I can't lie to him, I know he must have had such a hard few hours. Only 12 hours ago his wife was awake and had said a few words to him. And now....

"Yes well, she's a strong girl but at some point..." there's a haunting pause, and some odd ruffling on his end of the phone. "I will call later today, i assume she's asleep. I would like to see you both."

"Of course, I will let you know when she's awake again."

"And Calum, Tenley's mother had made something for her a while ago. Would it be alright if I mailed it to you?"

"Of course you can, I'll text you my mailing address," I sniffle, wiping a stray tear from my chin. "Mr Carmichael-"

"David, call me David."

"Sorry, uh David, I'm so, so sorry for your loss. I really am."

"Thank you," I can feel his sincerity as I nod to myself. "Now get some sleep kiddo."

I hang the phone up and watch out my front windows as vehicles pass by and the sky begins to lighten. The whole world is beginning to go back to normal, all while people have lost someone they love so dearly. Nobody but them knows, and nobody but them will ever remember that such a person existed.

Tenley is going to go on for the rest of her life with nothing but memories of her mother. Someone she wasn't close with, but was getting closer to as she got older. The image of her mother will never age, she will always look the same - with Tenley's same eyes and a big smile with matching dimples. When she pictures her father, the first love of her life, he will age in her memories, but he will always be with a young woman. She's going to age past her mother one day, one day soon.

"Calum..." I jump as I notice Tenley's figure in the window. She's changed her sweater to one from my floor and she has a blanket draped over her shoulders. Even as I turn I can see the way her body is shaking.

"Tenley, darling, have you eaten anything yet today?" She shakes her head, blinking slowly at me. I shake my head as I stand from the coach. She doesn't move from her spot in the hallway as I pull out small things for her to eat, crackers and granola bars, a glass of water and a gatorade to make sure she doesn't pass out. She takes one bite out of a cracker before shaking her, head tears falling down her cheeks again.

"My dad doesn't know i'm here, I...I didn't-"

"Hey, hey, it's alright. I called him, and I let Crystal and everyone know you're safe. You scared us, you know,''I pulled her to my bedroom, an arm full of things as I made the attempt to put her back to bed.

"I just wanted to surprise you..."

"Well you could've told someone you were coming, we were so worried. But that's okay, you're here and safe and I was so surprised. Thank you,''I press a kiss to her head as she curls up under the blankets again. "I am so happy to see you."

She nods simply, moving closer to me as I lay beside her. I bring her head to my chest allowing me to run my fingers through her hair. The poor girl has gone through so much, so many people have worried about her in the last 18 hours. Suddenly I remember Simone and the Heart family, so I bring my phone out again, raising it to my ear as it rings.

"Calum, oh thank god!" I can hear both her and Jeremy through the phone, as I whisper in response.

"Tenley is here, she came early-"

"Does she know about her mum? Her dad called me an hour ago and I haven't been able to get a hold of her! Is she alright?"

"She does know, she actually heard right when she got to my door-"

"Oh god, that's absolutely terrible," I nod to myself as Jeremy speaks.

"She's alright for now, shook up real bad. But we;re just going to take it a day at a time and get her feeling a little better as we go along."

"Good okay good, when she is sad, like really sad she tends to not eat and stays in bed as long as humanly possible. So....make sure she eats please?"

"On it. She hasn't eaten for god knows how long, Crystal is gonna come over tomorrow and see how she's doing. I'll keep you updated alright?"

"Yes please. And watch those airlines, they're talking about shutting everything down right now and I don't know if she'll be able to come back if she used her American passport."

"Will do, thank you for your help."

"Hey, you need to know this stuff just as much as I do. Thank you for taking care of her Calum."

"It's my job now," she chuckles dryly over the phone before bidding goodbye. I take one more look at Tenley before I close my eyes to sleep again.