hey rockstar

thirty six ; everything is wrong

TENLEY

It took a lot for me to decline the phone calls I was receiving during the show. My parents know how important this is to Calum, and how special it is. But after the third call I decided maybe it was time to pick up. As their set came to an end, and Calum's back was to me I picked up the phone and ran to the entrance - hoping to quiet the noise just a little bit.

"Dad, hey I'm sorry I didn't want to interrupt Calums show. What's going on?" I can hear my dads breathing more than anything, echoing in the phone from across the world. As his breath starts to rasp I feel a tug at my chest - something is wrong.

"Sunflower...it's mum.."

I can feel my legs buckle as I step off the sidewalk, sitting down on the curb by my car. I watch the entrance, waiting for him to tell me the worst news, my stomach aching and my heart pounding loudly in my chest.

"Honey, your mum is in the hospital. She...uhm she got sick last month and it's been getting a little bit worse every day. The doctors have diagnosed it as pneumonia, right now it doesn't look like it's going to get better very soon."

"Dad...I...I'm sorry I didn't answer earlier. Where are you guys, I can fly-"

"No, tenley you need to stay where you are right now."

"Dad, mum is in the hospital? How can I stay here, across the world from her if she could-"

"She's not going to die. Honey, she's been placed on a ventilator for now, to help her get better. We might...We might put her into a coma to help her body direct it's healing, and help her heart," there's a pain in my throat as I choke up. Imagining my own mum lying helpless in a hospital bed, my dad not able to do anything and their only daughter thousands of miles away from them.

"Honey, she'll be okay..." I sniffle, watching as a tall figure walks out of the stadium, talking to the security guard. "You know her heart is weaker than ours, it needs help when she gets sick. And pneumonia can be rough on your body, no matter how good your heart is."

AS the man from the front approaches I began to recognize Calum, his face slowly becoming more and more clear as he gets closer. Wipe my tears before he can see them and offer a weak smile.

"I know that but...it's scary dad."

"I know honey, but your mum is strong and there is a scary thing starting to unfold in the world right now. I know you're travelling to LA next month and that's as much as i'm willing to have you travel right now."

"But what if it..." I spare my words as Calum sits beside me, trying to quiet his heavy breathing. His hand lands on my knee, rubbing slow and soothing circles into my skin.

"If it gets worse I will do everything I can to keep you in the loop. But having you come here, with your lungs the way they are..."

"Dad is she-"

"Tenley, stop thinking that. She is not going to die!" I choke back my tears, nodding to myself. The only thought that's able to run through my head is the fact that I might lose my own mother at the age of 22. "Okay, i'm going to go back to your mother. We'll call you this week if she's off the ventilator alright?"

"You promise to keep me updated? Truly updated?"

"Yes. You're an adult - you have the right to know what's going on."

"Okay, thank you dad,"

"Mhm, I'll talk to you later, sunflower - I love you."

"So much,'' I sniffled as I hung up the phone, refusing to look at Calum. His hand moves from my knee to pull loose hair from my face.

"T...what's wrong darling?" I give in, letting my eyes meet him for a moment until I can't look any more. My eyes swell with tears and all I can do is shake my head at him, covering my face with my hands.

For a moment he doesn't say anything, his hand rests on my back softly. The heat of his body warms my skin, the breeze becoming unbothering as I sit in silence, listening to my heavy breathing and the sound of my heart beat. Suddenly my chest pain feels worse, pulling at my ribs and raking it's way up to my throat. I cough, clutching my chest as breathing gets too hard for me.

"Hey, here, breathe for a second," I can hear him rustling around in my bag grabbing my inhaler tightly. I try to take it but he refuses, holding it to my lips. "Ready, now breathe in - two three four..."

He repeats this a second time, hand still settled on my back. He seems so much more calm than I imagined, having hardly a reaction to my state. In his hand with my inhaler is my car keys.

"What are you-" I'm cut off with another coughing fit, taking a second for my head to come down.

"We're going to get you home. I don't know what's going on but I know you definitely need to go home."

"No, I'll take myself. You stay here with your friends and family. This is a big deal!"

"You're a bigger deal. Trust me."

I choose not to argue as he helps me into the car. I watch him carefully as we pull away from the stadium. The drive remains quiet, the radio playing slower music than usual is the only sound in the car for the entire ride. With the passing lights I can see his concerned expression, the occasional glance in my direction - the attempts to make them not obvious. I set my head against my window, the pain in my stomach only getting worse the closer we get to my house. Two blocks from the house he sets his hand on mine, patting the back of my hand as he pulls into the driveway.

"T," I shake my head, taking the keys from him as I walk up my front steps. "We have to talk about it, even just a little bit - you know that."

Ignore him, picking Butterscotch up off the floor as I retreat to my bedroom. I strip down into one of his old t-shirts and bury myself in the bedding - tears threatening to spill again. But this time he doesn't follow me.