I hardly jump when Tenley steps into the backyard, a soft smile on her face as she sees the group of us spread out on her grass. Immediately she comes to me, sitting beside me, setting a hand on top of mine.
"I didn't realize there was a party going on at my house," her smile is soft, watching all of her friends gathered together once again.
"Well, i came so I could show you all those pictures we took! I wanted to wait until some of the film developed so..." Kaykay stands up with a smile on her face, having denied all of us the chance to look at the photos before T got here.
"Oh we don't have to-"
"Hey, hey I wanna see them," I settle my hand on top of hers as Kaykay brings out a laptop, and a small envelope full of photos. She passes the films and the prints she did off to the others allowing the two of us to look over the others.
We go through the pictures slowly, taking in the different scenes that were set, and the continuous outfit changes she apparently had to endure. I can't help but admire the portraits, taken in all different lighting to reflect different pieces of her. Shadows contrasting with the dark in her eyes and the texture of her hair only getting more and more wild with each one. As the photos slowly begin to add in Sierra and Crys you can see how much more comfortable she gets.
Her smile is wider, and her body seems less rigid standing between the tow. Leaning on one or the other, with a soft look on her face. Or a smile so wide it threatens to split her lips. The best by far are those from the desert.
"Wow, I wish I had someone like you taking my senior dance photos," Tenley laughs as we pass off the laptop, accepting the small box of film. I can't help but laugh at the very first photo she picks up.
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"Why does this exist?" I question as I hold the picture under s light.
"Cause you guys are cute," Tenley's headlands softly on my shoulder as she looks at the picture. I take it from the box and slip the picture into my back pocket - winking at her while she keeps looking.
"Kay," she turns her head, an eyebrow raised, "thank you."
"Oh c'mon that's nothing! You do so much for us, i mean look at us-" she raises her arms to reference our little group and the small mess we made in her backyard. Tenley shrugs her shoulders before leaning back onto her elbows.
"I like having everyone over, it makes me feel nostalgic."
"Like when we were in highschool," Mike nods his head, understanding the feeling. "Always with your friends, even if you weren't actually doing anything."
"Just think, in a couple years maybe we'll get to do this more often. You've thought about moving to LA right T?" There's silence for a moment, I turn to see Tenley with her face screwed up.
"A little yeah," I shoot Kay a look, to change the topic quickly which Ashton does for me.
"So, T, think your dad would do some audio work for us?"
"Well, i'm sure you could ask him. HE only works with people whose music he likes so..."
"He doesn't like our music?"
"Dad has a very particular taste. I could tell you songs I know he loves but I couldn't tell you about the others."
"Wait, does your dad actually hate our music?" She shrugs, trying to play it off as if she doesn't know. "I need that man's number!"
"Why? Your albums done, nothing he can do now," Ashton looks panicked for a moment.
"Your dad totally hates our music, that's why you've never seen us in concert isn't it?"
"No that's not why," she laughs, shaking her head at him panicking. "You guys just never toured at a good time for me. I was in school or you were too far away."
"Well, school sucks so?"
"Woah, woah, woah, she's a teacher you better watch yourself!" Michael laughs loudly as Ash rolls his eyes. "Relax, now she'll come to shows and maybe you can meet her dad cause you apparently love him."
"I do not!"
"Are you sure? Cause you seem pretty interested in him, man," Luke shrugs, holding back a chuckle. I can't help but smile a little as the three bicker at one another.
"Okay relax, I'm sure he'll help with your next album."
"Oh thank god!" I raise an eyebrow at Ash who shrugs his shoulders, "what? He does some good work. I thought we could have a less shitty album at least once in our lives."
"Hey, i love all the albums!" I laugh at Tenley, jumping to our defence over our own music. "I do, I probably own every single one of them."
"Oh geez, that's not a good thing darling."
"Oh shut up," her laughter is infectious as she pushes me gently.
A smile settles on my lips as I watch my friends laugh and drink together. Topics begin to stretch from the band to childhoods, stories from when we were all teenagers coming forwards. Everyone remembers different things, with different lives from one another - even the four of us who grew up together. The laughter was infectious, enough to make your stomach hurt but as the clock began to tick passed midnight a different feeling began to settle into my stomach. Darker topics had begun to surface, like Tenley's accident or the hiatus we took. And as the laughter grew more sparse I let myself drift through my social media.
I should have known better, having avoided twitter nearly all day. The moment we left Starbucks this afternoon my phone began to blow up with mentions, and comments, people tagging me in posts and threads. All of them detailed harsh words about Tenley, how we looked strange together or how she seemed so rude. It was exhausting to read, heartbreaking to see people react so negatively about a human being. SOmeone that I love. But as I open twitter things have changed.
My mentions were full of new posts, new threads all of them appreciating Tenley for who she is. People who have bumped into us telling their story, people she went to school with filling the fando with pure knowledge of her sweet personality. People jumped to her defence, and jumped to the defence of the ther three girls at the same time. Fans rallying together to make sure each of them are loved in as many ways as possible.
When I finally bring myself back to the conversation everyone has cleaned up the mess we've made and are walking off to cabs, waving at me with weird looks on their faces.
"We'll catch a ride with you tomorrow yeah?" Tenley nods at Mike before sitting herself directly in front of me. Her smile was soft and concerned, having picked up on my distancing.
"Hey hon, what's wrong?"
"Nothing," I lean forward, kissing her softly as I pick up the dog. "I'm just tired."
She follows me to bed, relaxing against her headboard as Butterscotch and I try our best to sleep. But I feel guilt building in my stomach, unsure if she's seen any of the posts that have been released today - good or bad. So I ask.
"T...have you seen.."Before I finish my sentence she nods, a harsher look on her face, jaw clenched. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"Cause they're not a big deal. Good or bad, nothing really affects me directly."
Suddenly her phone is put away and she turns her back to me completely.
