hey rockstar

thirty seven ; the rest of my life

CALUM

I let Tenley run off to her room, feeling the tension in the car only proved that she needed more space than I thought she did. I take my time in the shower, peaking my head in her room to check on her before I pick up the phone. I listen to the phone ring six times, thinking of the time difference and that maybe he didn't want to speak to anyone right now?

"Calum?"

"Mr. Carmichael!"

"Call me David," I nod to myself settling down on the floor outside Tenleys bedroom.

"What can I do for you?"

"Well, ten;ey is really upset and won't tell me why. My parents said you were calling her so i figured...you would know?"

"Ah yes, she's just like her mother that one," his laughter sounds sad, my bad feeling getting worse. "Well, I don't know if you know this but Helena has a congenital heart condition. She has always been very susceptible to illnesses of all kinds, and she hasn't been feeling very well for about a month. She was having some troubles breathing today so we brought her into the hosp-"

"Before you continue...is she still alive? I know that's a terrible question but..."

"Yes, she's still alive. She was diagnosed with pneumonia, which has been taking a toll on her heart and lungs. So she's been placed on a ventilator. It's supposed to help her body adjust to what it needs to be healing."

"She's not getting any better is she?"

"No, she's not," there's a sigh on the other end. "Right now she has...okay odds. But because of everything going on we're...we have somewhat low expectations right now."

"And youre not letting her come back are you?"

"Absolutely not. There are much better things for her to do in her time. And should her mother get worse I'll tell her. But being with her could...it could be worse."

"I understand. Are you sure she can't come home though? I know they're not close, but she does have a tendency to worry."

"I know she does. But she is going to be my top priority for right now, I'm only expecting this virus to increase more and more and I don't want to risk both of them."

"Thank you...for telling me."

"Of course, how was the show?"

"Good. I had this terrible feeling leading up to it...I guess I know what it was now. But the show was good, I think T liked it."

"She's always wanted to see you in concert. I'm glad she had a good time,''I can hear an announcement over the speakers of the hospital - prompting another sigh. "Alright, I have to go, you kids, be safe okay? Stay healthy, stay together."

"We will. And thank you again, David."

I set my phone on the floor, listening to the two in the bedroom, breathing slowly and the sound of crying is gone. But that doesn't mean anything. I take a deep breath, pushing my way into the bedroom, I can just barely see Tenley curled up in the dark, the dog laying against the side of her head. I keep my eyes trained on her as I move around the room, picking up the little mess that's there so she doesn't have to do it later.

I'm careful climbing into bed behind her, my movements are slow and gentle as I slide an arm around Tenley. I pull her into my chest softly, trying to wake her but with a sniffle, she turns around laying her head into my chest softly. Shocked I flinch but bring her in as close as possible, running my fingers through her hair. We lay there for a few minutes, waiting for her to speak or fall asleep, just when I think she;s really asleep she speaks.

"My mum is sick," for a moment it feels like my heart is no longer working, and like my lungs have given out. My body is tense as her breathing seems to get more uneven. Hearing the news a second time seems to have a heavier effect than hearing it over the phone.

"I know..." she pulled away slightly, wiping her face as she narrowed her eyes. "I called your dad. I needed to know why you are so upset."

"Oh,' she falls silent, settling back into her chest, remaining quiet.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't want to ruin your night. It's not fair that you have to deal-"

"Tenley, I'm not just dealing with it. This is your life, and you are my life. Nothing that happens to you happens to me too. We're a little team and we need to stick together, and help the other out when they need it."

"I don't...It's fine."

"No it's not. You're upset because your mum is sick, and you can't go be with her. That's scary."

"We're not that close, it's-"

"If you say it's fine I'm going to throw you out the window," she giggles, a sniffle bringing up the end. I feel guilty for not waiting for her to tell me, I should have waited until she was ready even if she never did end up telling me.

"I'm sorry, I probably should've told you..."

"Yeah, it would've been a little easier," I shrug, playing with one especially tight curl. "I texted Cries to let her know we wouldn't be back. She wants to visit tomorrow...so does everyone else."

"Oh, well I am off but...I was just gonna spend it with you.."

"They can stop by, i'll see you soon. It'll be chill, they just want to make sure you're okay," she nods softly, tears still falling down her face slowly.

"If she dies-"

"Tenley don't-"

"Cal, we've been thinking about this since the day I was born. Her heart has always been so weak, any kind of sickness could kill her. When I was living with them, if I was sick I was sent to my grandparents house to make sure my mum wouldn't get sick. It's always been in the back of our minds."

"It's still sad to think of," i feel tears stinging my eye, thinking of anyone you love dying has always made me emotional. And the fact that Tenley's mum could die isn't much better.

"Yeah but...I guess everyone dies and you accept it after so much of it."

"You're still upset by it, you can't pretend it's not affecting you at all."

She nods, closing her eyes, taking a deep breath. Her body feels much colder than usual, curls are matted as she lays in the dark accepting the fate she assumes. But watching the interaction in the parking lot, the way she tried to cover up her tears was heart shattering. The sounds of her sobs are something i neve want to hear again.

I want to spend the rest of my life, protecting her. I don't want to see her heart breaking, or tears fall. I want her to grow to be strong and able, and beautiful as ever. To believe in herself and her abilities. It is my life mission.