hey rockstar

forty four ; anything to make her feel better

I struggle to wake up even as the clock struggles past eleven. But as I open my eyes to my dark bedroom I notice how Tenley is curled up into herself and that some of the crackers are gone. Along with a few sips of both the water and the gatorade. I smile to myself, proud that she knew she needed to try eating even if I wasn't there to make her. But i can't stay in bed any longer, so i pull myself out of bed and wander into the living room.

Surprisingly Crystal and Mike are settled into the couch, with Tenleys things cleared from the living room. Michaels eyes are closed, as he lays with a passed out weiner dog on his stomach. It's Crystal that notices me first, a sad and tired smile on her face.

"Hey Cal," I smile softly, sitting on the couch beside her. She pats my back softly, tears in her eyes. "We couldn't sleep so we came over around 9. Got some groceries and stuff, you know. Just in case."

"Thank you," she bods, leaning back into the couch.

"Ash also, he tweeted out on his account. He didn't know if he should but he did it anyways," she looks through her phone quickly before showing me the tweet. As well as a quoted tweet of Luke's.

@ashtonirwin

5sosfam, T has recently suffered a very big loss in her family. I'm telling you this so you will remember what it feels like to lose someone you love - and respect the distance that she may have when interacting with you guys. (This also goes for us, and Calum as well!)

@lukehemmings

You might have noticed our dear friend is in town for the next little while. This means we will be supporting her in any way she needs, please, please, please recognize the big heart she has and respect her and the time she needs. We will do the best we can, we love you guys!

"They thought it would be okay so nobody gets harassed or feels like they need to be active while everything goes down," I nod slowly, "we can take it down?"

"No, it's okay. We'll make a statement or whatever in a few days when she feels better."

"How's she doing?"

"Well, i got her some stuff to eat and drink when she woke up last night cause she looked like she was going to be ill. And I can see she got up and had some..." I sigh loudly, rubbing my face with my hands. "It's a good step forward right?"

"It is, it really is. This is hard no matter what, you're doing so good for her, I'm so proud of you," with tears in my eyes I mutter a small thank you before I turn to look out my kitchen window. "Can i go check on her?"

"Go for it," she stands, pushing Mike's head off her leg, waking him up abruptly. He sighs when he notices me, and offers a sheepish smile.

"Hey man," I nod at him, looking at the small dog curled up on his chest. "I uh...Crystal woke me up when you called and I couldn't sleep so we decided to do a few things for you. We uh, got some easy food to make, snacks and stuff. Stopped by the florist and got some flowers for T too, even though i know it's not a big thing-"

"Hey no, she'll love it. I know she will."

"Oh, and Crys cleaned up a bit, just T's stuff from the floor, made sure the dogs were fed - real easy stuff. I know the little stuff is helpful."

"Yeah, Simone said that she doesn't really get out of bed when she's said, and I'm a little worried about her not eating..."

"She'll get used to it. I know that sounds bad but...she will," he pauses unsure of what to say. "Did you get a hold of her dad and let him know she's here?"

"Yeah, I called last night. He's mailing me something that her mum made her. Should be here by the end of the week."

"Any idea what it is?"

"Not a clue, but i hope it makes her feel better."

CRYSTAL

The moment Calum called I knew that either one of them was going to need support, whether it be Calum in understanding a loss like that or tenley to pull her out of the darkness. And the moment Cal walked around the corner I knew it would be both, but I'm not the person for that. I opted to leave Michael with him, hoping he would pull the sadness out of him rather than just hang out on the couch together.

I open the door as slowly as possible, trying my best to not wake Duke, or Tenley if she is still sleeping. But as I get closer I can see that she's curled into a ball, with red eyes. Without a word I crawl into bed, leaning my back into the headboard as she settles her head on my knees.

"Are you alright?"

"No," her voice is hoarse, and sounds almost painful.

"Is there anything I can do for you right now?" A whimper echoes around the room, a small no as I rub my hand over the lump of blankets. Her breathing is ragged and it sounds sharp in her lungs, as if she needs her inhaler but for the time being I leave her alone.

We sit in silence for what feels like only seconds, but is nearly an hour, my hand never leaving her back. While waiting I think of what I would need if my mother passed away.

"When I was little my mum and I used to bake cookies all the time. Every weekend we would be in the kitchen making dozens and dozens of these super simple cookies. It used to be my favorite thing. But as I got older, we started to fight," she shuffles, as if I peaked her interest. "And i mean really fight, screaming matches and slamming doors for hours, even days. We would skip the cookies on the weekend but the moment we calmed down whether it was a monday morning a friday night we would make those stupid cookies. No apologies, just cookies."

"My mum and I did something like that."

"Really?"

"Well, kind of. We weren't each other's favourite person but I did so many things to keep us together like dance and ice skating. And it was always just her and I for these competitions - dad would come up later. We'd always have sushi and ice cream, even if we fought she made sure she was the one taking me."

"Well that's sweet of her," she nods, a small sniffle coming from within her bundle.

"We weren't best friends but i ever wanted her to..."

"No one ever wants their parents to die.Doesn't matter if you're close or not, it hurts more than anything in the world," she ends again. I almost feel guilty, she's closer to her family now than she ever is and she wasn't able to be there for her mum.

"I wanted to go see my dad. To make sure he's okay but he said not to. ANd it's really hard to not be there for him right now."

"You'll get there one day. Soon, and it will all feel so much better I promise."