hey rockstar

ninety three ; damn you ash

Cal looks at me, a soft dreamy expression. Kind of a look like he may cry, but his expression is soft.

"You're writing a book about us?"

"Well, I'm writing a book about Tom and Blake. Tom happens to be a rockstar, Noelle a teacher..."

"So us, with our middle names?"

"Yes, I couldn't think of any other names," I laugh at myself and he shakes his head at me, still smiling. "I don't think it will go anywhere. I just thought I liked our story."

"I like our story too."

"I wanted to share it."

"Is it shareable do you think?"

"I think all love is shareable." He leans his head on top of mine smiling off into the yard. He sighs loudly, gripping my hand carefully. His calluses have returned with his absent minded playing and his slow move back into making music that made him feel better. "How was writing today?"

"We'll, I will also be sharing our love."

"See, our love is shareable!" I giggle as he taps my fingers in a rhythm I don't know yet. "You alright?"

"Yeah, just in my head."

"Good or bad," he moves his head looking at me intently, like he's trying to stare into my soul with his deep eyes.

"Very good, really good. Wanna hear about it?" I nod and he crosses my legs over his knees - my hand still in his.

There's a big pause, as if he's trying to be dramatic, maybe trying to find the words to explain what is in his head. Sometimes he has too many words that he can't just pick one-

"I told Ash about," his thumb runs over the small ring on my finger as he smiles softly. "I know I said I didn't want to but he asked where my sudden burst of love songs came from so I had to tell him. And then we started talking about plans."

"What plans?"

"Wedding plans."

"You and Ashton...talked wedding plans?"

"Yeah. Well about everything cause he asked how i did it even though I had a whole other plan. And then he was asking how I felt about a wedding being famous and all you're expected to have such a huge wedding. And I just...I don't want to."

"Have a big wedding? Why not?!" I look at him with wide eyes, he has so many friends that he loves with his whole heart how could he not want to have them there on such a big day??

"Well, I mean you only really have the Heart's and your dad in your family and my family is so big plus all the people I know. It doesn't seem fair and I mean we're private as a couple.'

"Well part of that is also because of the pandemic. I'm sure we would be out more if..." he shakes his head a little and chuckles. "Okay yeah you have a point."

"And besides, the only place we may be able to get married in the next year could be Australia and I don't wanna risk all the people there for travel. Like if we're travelling it's only the people we really want."

"Wow you practically have the whole wedding planned already," I giggle and he turns red, looking guilty. "There's more, isn't there?"

"Okay well Kaykay and Crystal might've spilled your pinterest and we found your wedding board and I don't know I guess we got really into looking at it you know?"

"What?"

"Well you know Ash gets really excited about that kind of stuff, and he is proud or whatever of me for finding you and he might've started literally building a wedding."

"Actually?" I laugh a little, I've seen Ashton's pinterest and how full it is with different specific boards and how he loves to plan - he did that for his house and he does it for albums. It's almost no surprise that...Cal opens his phone finding the board tenderly titled C+T=4ever, as if we're in middle school.

The board itself is huge, each and every little detail he could think of was covered from hair and make up to, flowers in suit coats. He pulled inspiration from my own bard - with a few different wedding dresses that I had found and he managed to pick my two favourite. The board is soft, and deep with lustful colours that fit calum but the elegancy that he thinks would fit me.

"Calum," my throat feels dry and my eyes feel wet as I look up at his deep eyes. He has a smile, a soft one that tells me he loves me but that he also feels guilty about my expression.

"I didn't mean to make you cry..." he laughs at himself, tears coming to the surface. "Damn you Ash."

"No it's really sweet I didn't think you would ever do anything like that. I just kinda thought weddings maybe aren't your thing?"

"I love weddings, and love, and celebrating it. And I love you - and the fact that our ideas of a wedding are the same blow my mind because..."

"Because our styles are so not similar?"

"Yeah," he laughs leaning his head on mine sighing. "I'm still gonna blame it on Ashton because he was doing this while I was on the phone with him. I had no part in it."

"Sounds about right."