hey rockstar

thirty five ; something is wrong

CALUM

The moment we got through the small performers entrance I could feel my heart rate pick up. The venue parking was visible from where we were, and I could see the time up of people, coming and going as they pleased - buses dropping off larger groups of people and taxes speeding away. Tenley seemed so calm, showing her passes, and bands to the man directing us ensuring she was going to the right place. Finally parking, her smile wide as Crystal laughs.

I got out of the car first, taking her hand as she stepped out, a look of concern on her face. I offer a smile, trying to play off the nerves that are testing me already. Three small squeezes are applied to my hand before we start our small walk to the backstage area. We can see Ashton and Luke as we walk in the door, towering over the small group of women they surround, turning to us with smiles.

"Tenley!" I can feel my heart stop for a moment, locking eyes with my mum as she shouts happily. Her arms are opened wide, as she rushes to the four of us completely engulfing Tenley in a hug - my hand slowly getting dropped.

I watch the soft interaction between Tenley and my mother, the soft couches and matching smiles. I watch as mum puffs up Tenley's curls complimenting how she's dressed and how she's so excited to see her again.

"I helped Calum with your Valentine's surprise! Didn't you love it?"

"I did, so it was you who cleaned?" There's laughter as she looks back at me, curious as to why I'm not talking to anyone. She waves her hand at me as she's pulled closer to my sister and the other group of parents.

"Cleaned? Hardly all I did was put away three clean dishes and sweep up after Calum. I've never seen a house so clean," their laughter feels farther away as I'm pulled into a conversation with Michael and his parents.

"So, you guys have been planning the wedding quite a bit no?" I shrug my shoulder - Mike and Crystal have been asking my opinion of wedding plans and ensuring everything is a little less extravagant than what they want. To say I'm involved is a bit of an exaggeration, but he does like to check up.

"Cal," I turn to Mali, gratefully following her for a smaller conversation, offering a shrug to the one i was in previously. "So, mum said you're proposing to Tenley?"

"Oh my god, why does everyone think that's what I mean!" I push my hands across the top of my head. SInce I mentioned the dream, to literally everyone that's exactly what they think I mean. As if I have the ring in my pocket at all times. The only one not completely bowing this out of proportion is Tenley here self.

"I don't mean right now. I mean you were thinking about it, yes?"

"Well I mean, I had this dream last month and I guess "ve been thinking about it a lot."

"I think you should," I pause, focusing on Mali's face. Surely she's kidding. "She sent me this thing to proofread last week. It was so powerful, and moving it made me think of how okay I would be if you got engaged. I mean generally I don't love your girlfriends but this one is different."

"She really is, isn't she."

My gaze wanders to find Tenley, engulfed in a conversation with Liz and my mum. She looks happy, but tired. She catches my eye and smiles brightly, as if trying to encourage me that things are normal and good but they're not. When my smile doesn't match hers she leaves her little group, apologizing as she comes to me and Mali.

"Hey, can I borrow him?

"Go for it," I nod to my sister as she leaves. I turn to face Tenley taking her in more than I had this morning. How soft her hands feel against my arm and how kind and sorry her eyes are as they examine my face. Worry lines begin to appear on her forehead, not disappearing until she speaks.

"What's wrong?" The words are hoarse, sounding somewhat painful to speak.

"Nothing, why do you think something is wrong?"

"You just seem off. You've seemed off for the whole day actually. Is everything alright? SHould i not have co-"

"No, no, I'm glad you came. I'm really excited actually," I force a bit of a smile, trying to prove my point to her but it doesn't seem to work.

"Cal..."

"I'm okay, I'm just nervous to play right? And this is your first show, it's...it's a lot."

"Cal, are you lying to me?" I shake my head looking at the hur that is settled in behind her eyes. She sighs, nodding to me before she steps away slightly. "Alright...I'm going to go over there. Give you your space."

I watch her walk away, hurt in her eyes as she steps back into conversation with the rest of the girls. I stay where she left me, listening to the music as it pounds through the stadium speakers. I can see my dad walking towards me, a look of concern on his face, but it's not until he's talking to me that I fully register him.

"Son, what's wrong?"

"Something feels wrong..."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know. Something just feels wrong, in my gut."

"With you and Tenley?" I shake my head quickly, I know that's not what's wrong. But I don't know what it is. "Just...in the world?"

"Yeah. But it's just a feeling. It's probably nothing."

"You should never ignore a gut feeling," he pats my back softly, giving me an understanding look. The day feels more stiff than usual, the crowd was loud and the people on stage amazing but everything feels wrong.

Tenley stayed backstage with the rest of the girls until we were onstage. She laughed and told stories while we waited, and got ready. She helped with my hair and kissed me good luck before she left. On stage I could see her clearly - a smile on her face as she watched me. She stood between my family, singing along to all of the songs and even dancing with my mum. I watched her pick up her phone a few times, distracted slightly but she didn't leave. At least not until I was off the stage.

I blew a kiss to her as I left, trying to rush backstage packing up the things that were going to be picked up tomorrow following take down. The sweat on my forehead was still wet when I got around the stage, but she was gone. Mum and Mali looked concerned, watching the area we had come through with intense looks on their face.

"What's wrong? Where's Tenley?"

"She had to take a phone call. She uh...she might not be coming back for the rest of Cal," it takes me a moment to understand exactly what is being said but when I do, I leave.

I walked to the entrance we came in, looking for Tenley everywhere. She was nowhere to be seen but there was a security guard standing at the door, watching the parking lot with squinted eyes. I approach him carefully, trying to see where he is looking - hoping to find Tenley.

"Excuse me, have you seen the girl I came in with today? Curly hair, very pretty, was probably on the phone?"

"She's right, over there," he raises hi shand, pointing to where her car is parked. And I can see her, curled into herself on the curb.