Marauder crack

Staring is not Seeing

Remus crosses the garden towards the greenhouses. It's the first week of May and he's still clinging to those oversized clothing that covers a body full of scars, scratches, and dog bites. It's hot, but the only license allowed is to wear the tie slightly looser. His passing through the hospital wing has left him another puberty stretch and now he feels especially too tall, especially lanky, especially skinny and sickly. A lock of elusive color, straw blond, possibly, falls over his face.

From his bedroom window, high up in the Gryffindor tower, Sirius is not able to define him exactly but observes, also not knowing exactly why. Remus has about three hundred meters to go to get to Herbology class when he meets that Slytherin from the hospital wing.

And now what does that useless man want?

Sirius can't hear what they are saying but they speak, that goes without saying. A good little while. He does not feel able to take his eyes off them, even though James at his back announces that training time is coming. Takes his boots and the broom and announces that he is ready but Sirius cannot stop looking through the window.

- Have you seen that guy?

James looks out. It takes a couple of seconds to recognise him.

-O'Neill- He says. -Pretty good player, he's in my Care of Magical Creatures class. Slytherin- and while James hates to admit it: -he doesn't seem like a bad guy...He's from Seventh year-. Makes a pause.- Malfoy and company make his life completely impossible-.

The comment is made casually but arouses voracious and almost carnivorous interest in Sirius.

- Seriously? Why?

- You know- James makes a whole lot of gestures but it is obvious that Sirius, who lends the same high attention to school gossip as well as classes, doesn't get it. So James spells it out. - He likes guys.

A kick. A dull ache. Somewhere squishy inside his chest. As soon as he hears it. He doesn't know why. Sirius only knows that it is annoying.

It hurts a little. It is an intense sensation. Now what? everyone in the world are fags?

- Ah.

- They say he was caught last year with one of those foreigners that came to play that exhibition match. Malfoy must believe it is the plague of their great home. An embarrassment to Slytherin and BLA bla. You know. Purity and shit.

Sirius experiences a small but intense internal debate. All of his family has Slytherin blood. Slytherin is everything he hates, everything he has to prove that he is not. And if something Slytherin gets in his way, Sirius chooses to hate him with sudden fury.

On the other hand, if that poor idiot is indeed the target of Malfoy's wrath, he cannot be that bad at all. Although whatever it may be, Sirius would feel calmer if he leaves Remus alone. He may still be a spy.

- I think he likes Remus- James says suddenly, broom in hand, looking through the window.

- Do you really think so? - There it is again, that kick. That damn push that hits some undefined place, which is starting to coagulate and turns blue.

- I wouldn't know. They talk a lot lately - says James. Sirius keep looking at them both through the window, in silence, for a good long time. They don't seem to do anything special apart from talking, who knows what.

After a while, the Slytherin boy laughs and Remus laughs and James thinks that fuels his argument. - You see it? Have you seen that? Haha- he says, imitating a voice that belongs to nobody but pretends to be from that boy. - Look how I laugh, it's because I want to kiss your lips, Remus. - He changes his voice, trying to be like his friend as well. - Oh, great, kiss me. - He seems quite pleased with himself. - What are your thoughts about this Jimmy?

- That your impression of Remus is pathetic.

James pats him affectionately on the arm and remembers that it is time for training.

- I'm happy for him- he adds.- It's not good that he's alone.

He walks away from the window, but Sirius keeps staring, while Remus says goodbye, and the boy walks away.

- He doesn't need to bother. He has us.

- It's not the same, damn it. You and I can't give her everything he wants. OR rather, where he wants.

"How amusing, Potter". That pain is still there, even during Quidditch practice. During the shower, in the locker room, he decides that James is wrong and that he is right. Everywhere he looks, the idea of ​​Remus with a Slytherin is intolerable.