Marauder crack

British hideout

Aurora Lupin loved ballroom dancing. She used to put the gramophone in the kitchen and Remus was climbing on her shoes and taught him how to vals. When he was too old to turn and turn on her feet, Remus had to put his feet on the ground and learn to dance according to different rules. Sex rules, for example.

- You have to lead. Boys lead the vals.

- Why mom? Girls can't lead?

- The girls would know if the boys let themselves be lead.

- But I'll let myself, Mom. I don't like to lead.

- You have to learn to lead.

He learned, but he was never very good at it. He doesn't really liked to vals so much but he adored her mother's enthusiasm, and the gramophone and the feeling of the kitchen turning and turning. He always had trouble with keeping up.

- Remus, you can't both let ourselves lead. If someone doesn't keep up, no progress, darling.

It is a pity that it is as good a lesson for vals as for real life.

It is the last week of the course at Hogwarts, the music is playing and Sirius lets himself be carried away as much as Remus. They dodge. They dance but they do not advance. Monday morning Remus is unaware of it. He gets up quite early and has breakfast alone and offers to help with last time loans in the library. Then he delays lunch, delays snack, he turns up for dinner earlier, and at ten o'clock at night, his stomach ache.

He forces him to realize that he has been changing his routine all day toavoid facing Sirius. He feels guilty. "I messed it up all with my mistrust". He feels exposed. "I begged him to kiss me". He feels vulnerable. "I would have begged him for doing anything to me".

As Remus dodges his own fears, Sirius avoid his ghosts. To begin with, he trains for hours, aware that the Quidditch pitch is the last place on earth where Remus could possibly appear. He skips the food and instead of napping in the boys' room, he does it in the garden. After all, it's summer and it's alright in the garden and if Remus doesn't want to see him, why should he want to see him? Yes, Sirius was the kind of dog that knows how he feels; he even might admit that he feels abandoned. "By Remus, no less". Irritated. "I didn't think that he ALSO would abandon me". Undecided. "I don't even like guys for fuck sakes".

Two do not play British hide and seek if one doesn't want to.

When that night, Remus arrives in the common room late in the evening and he greets all, with his inexhaustible courtesy, Sirius pretends to be deeply interested in the chess game he is playing with Peter, without looking up. He hears how he excuses himself to go to bed saying I don't know what of a headache.

Lily is the only one noticing the tension.

- Is something wrong with Sirius?

Remus is going to say "nothing" but he would be too noticeable.

- We kind of argued.

- You are like my parents. So many arguments and no sex.

He would like to tell her the truth. Shout. Kicking the ground. To whimper.

- Your parents did it at least twice.

- Are you saying it for me and Petunia? I don't believe it. My theory is that they called us so because we appeared among the flowers of the garden.

That night Remus couldn't sleep and hours after turning in the bed, he hears Sirius enter and lie down alone. He hears his breath and he wonders what place he will occupy in his dreams. Remus had a mother whose name was Aurora and she cried when he was bitten by the moon. Now he would like to be able to wake her up and cry with her because the moon has stopped loving him and he doesn't know what to do.