Marauder crack

The law of Chocolate

That night, James and Sirius slip themselves at night under the invisible cloak. They reach Hogsmeade via Honeydukes. They take everything needed to end their sixth year at Hogwarts as it deserves, following the list that has been elaborated by James. When they have put everything in the bag, they go back to the store of sweets and Sirius proposes "a little break" before returning to the castle. Just a couple of minutes to catch the breath and eat a couple of ounces of Honeydukes' finest selection. As it usually happens in those cases, the five minutes end up being a surfeit of chocolate in all rules.

- I think those last twenty chocolates were filled with ogre liquor- announces James. And he erupts. - Sorry. What were you saying?

- Focus, man. Okay, you imagine you have always liked dark chocolate, are you?

James nods. His gaze is slightly clouded. In the basement of Honeydukes, there is not much light but he can see Sirius's features. More or less.

- But now, you kinda discovered white chocolate by tasting it once. And you love it! And suddenly, you only think of white chocolate and you think that if you don't eat white chocolate right now, fuck, you'll have to kill yourself.

Again, James agrees. The liquor gives the conversation a vaporous quality. When Sirius says "white chocolate" it takes on a certain malevolent intensity.

- Do you think that...? - He asks. - Do you think that makes you a kind of ... white chocolate eater?

Carefully, very carefully, James studies the best answer.

- I think you're saying the biggest bullshit I've ever heard you say- he concludes. - What the hell are you talking about!

- The chocolate, mate! Pay a little more attention, will you?

Yes, he wants to. Sirius is his best friend and the conversation seems very important to him, but it's late, he's sleepy, he's drunk and the chocolate thing confuses him, frankly speaking.

- I mean, why that happens? Is it because you've tried too much dark chocolate and want to vary? Is it because you don't care as long as is chocolate? Or maybe- Sirius looks away as if he's deep inside his thoughts- maybe it's because that particular white chocolate is... bloody hell, the best chocolate in the world.

It must be great, yeah, that chocolate because Sirius looks about to drool while remembering. "Who knows what the hell he's talking about".

- Whatever you're trying to say, I'm not catching anything. Absolutely nothing. But if we are talking about chocolate and, I am not sure we actually are, but if we're talking about chocolate, what do you want me to tell you. Eat it!

It is the best advice he has at that hour and in his intoxicated state. Sirius considers it a good deal.

- I eat it?

-Eat it!- James repeats.

- And that's it. Simple as that?

James nods surprisingly hard. He finds that nodding makes him dizzy.

Quite.

- Yes I think so. But I'm drunk. So I'm not sure. You'll have to help me get up.

-Damn, you have the alcohol tolerance of an elf, Potter.

He intended to protest but he doesn't see the point. After all, it is true.

- You don't get it. Some elves drink like Russian Cossacks.

Sirius helps him up. It's lucky that he came with him and not with Peter because it takes strength to direct his steps in the mazes that lead to the castle.

- I was thinking ... - Sirius says on the way - and if the chocolate does not want to be eaten and... ah, whatever, it's the same, -he decides-forget it.

Forget it? It is easy. He no longer remembers his name.

- Don't worry. Tomorrow morning I won't remember anything.

They stumble into the boys' room and Sirius drops him on the bed and takes his shoes off. James imagines it's Lily, taking off his shoes, pushing him into the bedsheets. So sweet and so pretty and so Lily. With that hair so long and so soft that it makes him want to caress. She is so close, he has to at least try to lure her into bed so that she lay down with him. Just a little, just a little while. In bed with him. Yeah, that would be outstanding.

- I love you, Lily, for real.

-I love you too, Potter, but he stops fingering me.

- You're not Lily! You smell like Sirius.

James pulls Sirius out of the bed and he falls asleep immediately. The room fills with his snoring and his protests.

-The next one of you who pulls me out of his bed like that will never reach to experience seventh course. It's a warning.- He gets up off the floor and stumbles onto his bed, growling, -And what do you mean I smell like Sirius?