Dangerous quiet things (lexa x you)

*hobsons choices; chapter 41

Short chapter 🤷‍♀️
Y/n POV

The room was cold and the blankets didn't do much to help. I had been sitting in the same bed for a couple of hours now not being able to get any sleep, trust me I tried. I just couldn't get what lexa told me out of my head. They need me at the mountain when they attack.
Or maybe you cause more trouble then you can deflect.
I can help them!
You'll just slow them down
'It's for the best' yeah? A rats ass.

The worst scenarios kept going off in my head 'will the mountain win?' 'Is this all just a giant ambush?' 'What if they have another missile?!'.
That's probably likely because why would they waste their only missile on tonDc? That would just be stupid.
I thought I might have a use, a purpose. Helping the mountain might be the one thing I'll be good at seeing as my powers often conflict damage. I could help and lexa knows that.
You could call her selfish for her act, overprotective? As much as I hate her decision I understand, she didn't know I was still in tonDc when the missile hit so she didn't worry and now she is blaming herself, yet she couldn't tell people about the missile because it would most likely ensure chaos, it was really a never ending of Hobson's choices. She chooses one thing only to have an even more difficult decision to make after that. On and on and on. Even as much as I understood her mindset at this time that didn't mean I was going to obey her.
They need me, and I need to be there.
I just need to figure out how to do this.

Octavias POV
TonDc was a mess when we left. Everything burnt and broken. Homes ruined and lives lost.
Yet everything was still busy, the villages don't sleep when they're on the brink of a war I guess. A lot of residents from tonDc are staying in Arcadia as well as other near by villages. Grounders around Arcadia were sharpening their weapons and sorting rations.
We were marching the mountain today.

It was the early morning, the sun hadn't raised yet but it was still light enough to see through the slightly misty air. The break of dawn. The weather seamed dull but everyone's attention was on the more terrifying inevitably of the war soon to come. It seemed even though grounders won and fought many battles it didn't diminish the fear, the probability of something going wrong and the lives we'll loose today. No battles are the same, things and outcomes are always different. But that's just battle, that's just life.
A new battle everyday. We're not ensured life every passing minute, just like the missile. One minute things are fine and we were about to plot against our biggest enemy, the next minute tonDc is up in flames and many people died along with the village which now lays burnt to the ground.
What was in my mind though was why didn't Bellamy warn us? Did he know? That's what his job is supposed to be, to feed us the mountains plans.
My thoughts were cut off when I noticed Indra indulged in a seemingly important conversation with the commander. After a few heated minutes lexa marched away towards one of the many tents and I took that as my cue to approach Indra. "What was that about?" The dark skinned woman looked in my direction with her usual expressionless face.

"Nothing" she muttered "it didn't seem like nothing" I protested with a bit of attitude lacing my tone. "Your friend is staying here" she spoke lowly but I could still hear it and it confused me "who? Y/n?" We need her there, her powers would be an advantage against the mountain that they would never see coming. "Yes" the woman answered shortly. "We need her there Indra, with her fighting alongside us we're guaranteed some sort of victory" I could tell Indra wasn't happy about this decision "we're guaranteed nothing Octavia Blake. War is not a promise, anything could happen even with y/n there" I knew she was right but y/n needed to be there "this isn't your decision, is it?" I asked wearily and she shook her head. "No, but it is heda's and we stand by her command" I nodded knowing that India's loyalty to the commander wouldn't falter nor would she disobey a direct order. Nodding my head again more firmly showing that I understood she gave one firm nod back before walking off to help with something else.

Y/n POV

As much as I thought about it I couldn't seem to get my mind set on a plan. I needed to get to the mountain an help without lexa seeing me, without any of her most loyal companions actually. Which was nearly impossible. The door to medical opened and Abby walked in with a bag obviously with something slightly heavy in it but was I didn't expect was for Abby to March over to me, not in a angry manner though just in a hurry. "These are yours" she said while placing the bag on the edge of the bed, then rushing off somewhere else in the room to help a different patient. Peering in the bag I noticed some clothes that were clearly mine but I could tell I wouldn't be able to wear them again. They were burnt slightly, the fabric having slightly melted together. Dirt stuck to the material and in a particular shirt I could see a faint shadow that was most likely blood, my blood? I'm not sure. One thing in the bag did catch my attention though and that was the hard tattered cover of becca's book. My eyes widen as I snatched in from the bag and scanned over it with my eyes making sure in was still in tact and not burnt, it was paper after all.
After a couple of minutes of flicking over the pages and seeing nothing burnt badly I sighed in content. The closest thing to the book being burnt was the black soot staining some of the pages but that could probably be dusted off.

Placing the book on the bed near my thigh I could feel my eyes drooping and body becoming limp. I guess I didn't realise how tired I had gotten and slowly I sunk into the unconscious wake they call sleep.

Sorry for the long wait, I'm kinda lazy and also bindge watched all 5 seasons of she-ra.
I really don't have an excuse for not updating in a while so I am sorry and I hope I'll be able to make the next update quicker.