Love Sucks - The Vampire Diaries - Damon Salvatore

*53*

I got home from Carolines a little after our conversation, not wanting to stay any longer espeically with Elena there, and walked into the library thinking no one would be up. Damon was already in there, standing by the fire and holding a glass of bourbon. I checked my watch, 2:35am.

"So when I asked is it because of Stefan and you said no, you were lying?" Damon said before turning around to face me.

"No! It wasn't because of Stefan at all! We had talked and he -" I started to explain, placing my bag on a chair near the door.

"Oh right, talked." he said sarcasticly, taking a sip of his drink before placing it on the table and walking over to me. "Were you ever going to tell me?"

"Tell you what?"

"Oh please Olivia, don't play dumb!" His voice started to get louder and my heart began to beat faster. "Elena text me..."

"Oh right, great. Little Miss Perfect Elena!" I snapped at him, walking passed him and into the middle of the room, "Because she hasn't gone from brother to brother has she?"

"But you broke up with me and got straight into bed with my brother! How do you think that makes me feel? Am I just a joke to you? Was our relationship a joke!?"

"He made me see that if I was scared of you then maybe I should think things through."

"And you know why he said that? To sleep with you! People see Stefan as this well behaved little angel or something, but he's not! He's still a red-blooded man who when in front of a beautiful girl, he wants to sleep with her! And will do anything he can to make that happen!" He had moved over towards me a little as he rasied his voice with every word.

I took in a few breaths, trying to calm myself down. He's not your father. Just relax. "Damon, I want a boyfriend who will love and protect me and make me feel safe..."

"And what? You think Stefan can give you that?"

"This isn't about Stefan!" I was so annoyed at this situation, at myself.

"So, you don't think I can do all that!?"

"Of course you can. Maybe... Oh my God I don't know!"I paced the room, unsure what to do. My fight or flight mode was in overdrive; I wanted to stand there and fight for us, fight for me! But my legs wanted to run out of there as fast as I could.

"What the hell is going on Olivia? Why can't you seem to straight answer!?" Damon screamed at me, obviously getting more and more annoyed as this went on.

"Because I love you!" I screamed at him, blurted out, from the opposite side of the room to him.

Damon blinked, staring at me. Staring at the words that fell out of my mouth.

"I love you. And I don't know what to do with it." I carried on explaining how I felt. Damon stood there still, just staring at me. I wasn't sure what to do with myself; continue talking? Wait for him? "Everything is scaring me. You're scaring me. Every time you shout and get angry I'm transported back to my childhood and my dad screaming at me for one thing or another. So I freeze, I panic. I wait for you to hit me, but it never happens. And I have to tell myself over and over again that it will never happen. But every time my body panics and I have to keep on telling myself. This is not something I can just get over. It takes time and it scares me. I want to be with you, but I'm scared of you. For the first time in my life I'm actually feeling things and it's all too much. It hurts. I've never loved anyone so I'm not sure what I'm suppose to do..." Damon was still just staring. "Oh my God! OK, Damon, just say something!"

Before I could take another breath, Damon was infront of me. He grabbed my face and pulled me in, crashing his lips on mine. Damon pushed me and my back hit the wall, pushing his body against mine, pinning me against the wall, kissing down my neck. His hands worked all over my body, feeling every inch of me sending goosebumps all over.

I moaned, realising how much I missed his touch; how it made me feel so safe and wanted. Damon unbuttoned my jeans and pulled them down, kneeling in front of me to take them off. His hands worked their way up and ripped off my underwear before standing up and unbuttoning his own jeans.

He lifted me up, I hooked my legs around his waist and pressed myself against him. My hands ran through his hair as he pushed inside and bit the skin on my collarbone. That mix of pain and pleasure caused an amazing feeling inside, the knot already forming.

I grabbed hold of Damons shirt collar, digging my nails into his back as I scratched along and held onto the collar tight. Damon moved back up to my lips, kissing me roughly and not waiting for my permission to invade my mouth. But I didn't mind. The taste of bourbon hit the back of my throat, but I didn't mind. He bit my lip and continued to leave bite marks down my jaw and neck. But I didn't mind. I let go of what happened before, I let go of the fear of him maybe doing something; I let go of being scared. And then, finally, I actually did let go.

The knot burst and just as I was about to scream, Damon covered my mouth with his hand muffling the sound. He had just the one hand round my waist, holding me up, and my legs had turned to jelly; it was taking everything I could not to let go and fall.

Damon leaned his head against the wall behind me as his thrusts became jaggered, moans fell from his lips and he slowed. His hand fell from my mouth and held onto my thigh, helping me stay up. I rested my head on his shoulder and my arms hung loosely around his neck.

We stood there for a moment, catching our breathes. I turned my head on his shoulder so I was facing his neck, "you still haven't said anything." I whispered.

He nuzzled against me before leaning in close to my ear and whispering, "I love you too."

The biggest smile formed on my face that I had ever created. I had never had those words said to me. I wasn't prepared for that warm feeling that heated me up, inside to out. I felt calm and safe. And above all else, loved. I never wanted to be without him again.