Love Sucks - The Vampire Diaries - Damon Salvatore

*24*

Later that day, I decided to go to Tyler's and chat to him about .... you know ....

We lay on his bed, looking up to the ceiling for a while before I finally blurted out my question, "If you took a girls virginity, how would you feel?" He frowned and rolled his head to look straight at me, "No, I'm not asking you! It's just....I'm thinking about it and I'm just curious."

"Well it's a big thing. That's a lot of pressure on a guy."

"But I have no point of reference. So if he was bad, I wouldn't know."

"That is true." He smirked, "I think it would be stressful. Because you will always be remembered as the first one, no matter if you'd stay together for three days or three decades! So at some point, you will know if he was bad. And what if you break up? Find someone else who was better from the off and then you end up regretting losing it to him? And then there's the, what do I do? Would I go about it all the way I usually would? But if I'm a bit on the rough side it may put her off, something she's not in to. But then if I'm too calm then it may not be good enough. What if I hurt her? What if she hates it and doesn't want to carry on and tells me to stop? Or worse, doesn't tell me to stop and I carry on, which ultimately is rape. And then she regrets it straight away and is in pain physically and emotionally for years to come. If not decades...." he sat up and started breathing heavily, "oh wow I think I'm having a panic attack just thinking about it."

I sat up behind him and rubbed his back, "well, thanks for that." I muttered sarcastically.

Tyler turned to look at me and pulled me into a hug, "That's me. Most guys probably wouldn't think that much in all honesty." He kissed the top of my head and I wrapped my arms around him, "If you truly think you want to, then go for it. But if there's even a tiny bit of doubt anywhere, then don't. That doubt will grow, long after it's finished. And then that doubt becomes regret."

We both stayed like that for a while, just thinking about what he said. What if I did end up regretting it? If it wasn't perfect, how I imagined, would I regret that? Or just the person? What if I continue to worry about regretting it that I die a virgin!? That scares me more then anything else. Maybe I need to talk to Damon about this. Because.... well I mean, just because I want to lose it to him doesn't mean he wants to take it....