You inhale deeply, breathing in the refreshing scent of the cold winter air. You sit alone outside, reveling in the peace and calmness that this moment of silence provides you with. All you hear is the steady dripping of water and the gentle wind blowing through the trees. It's the perfect temperature outside, not too hot and not too cold, but still chilly enough to be deemed winter.
"Whatcha thinking about Y/N?" Sam's familiar voice asks as you stare straight ahead, not bothering to turn your head to greet him.
Sam approaches you and sits beside you, wrapping a muscled arm around your waist and pulling you into his warm form.
"Are you okay?" Sam asks, running a hand through your silky hair. He briefly presses his lips to your forehead as he waits for you to respond.
"I'm fine. Just thinking." You say, snuggling into Sam's firm chest.
"I can tell when you're lying Y/N." Sam says, his voice low and concerned.
"Sam I'm fine, honest!" You say, prying yourself out of his grip and standing. You look anywhere but Sam's eyes. Everybody knows that Winchesters can easily pick apart lies.
"Would it kill you to trust me every now and then?" Sam says, raising his voice and standing as well. Your eyes jump up to meet Sam's as you let out an aggravated sigh.
"You think I don't trust you?" You snap, your eyes glistening with fury.
"Well, yeah! You won't even tell me what's wrong!" Sam says, barely keeping his voice below a yell.
You stare at the ground as you utter your response.
"What?" Sam questions harshly, urging you to repeat the phrase.
"I said maybe I don't want to tell you!" You shout, staring daggers at Sam. Sam's stunned by your answer.
"W-what do you mean?" Sam says, his voice now soft, but also betrayed and broken.
"I mean that I don't want you to know what's wrong." You say, fighting back all possible notes of sympathy. Sam turns his back to you and runs a hand through his hair.
"We can't keep secrets from each other Y/N. That's not how relationships work." Sam says shakily. You let out a dark chuckle as Sam references your relationship with him.
"Well we don't have the typical relationship do we Sam? Ours is a bit more complicated than normal people's." You retort, throwing your hands in the air and walking towards Sam. From the outside, yours and Sam's relationship seemed picture perfect, but that was only the cover. You fought frequently, it was chaotic, ruthless, and heartbreaking.
"Sam you can't just turn your back to me and pretend that this isn't happening." You shout in frustration.
"Do you really want to know my big secret Winchester?" You yell, Sam doesn't flinch, he just stays with his back turned to you. You wait a few moments to see if he'd turn to face you, but Sam merely stays put.
"I'm going to die, Sam." You whisper, your voice cracking in the process.
Time stands still as Sam turns around with tear stained cheeks and envelopes you in a bone-crushing hug. When you find yourself starting to give in you immediately resist and push Sam away from you. Once you see the expression on his face your heart breaks into millions of tiny pieces.
"Don't leave me Y/N." Sam pleads, hurt and betrayal evident in his features. A single tear slips down Sam's face and you resist the urge to wipe it away.
"Sam, I can't stay." You say, forcing yourself to detach from the situation.
You have to do what's right for Sam now.
You have to leave them while you can still run. There's no other choice if you want to keep them safe and out of the mess you've created. You'll never forgive yourself if Sam gets hurt because of you.
You turn on your heel and head into the motel, letting the door slam shut behind you.
"Hey Y/N. Is everything alright?" Dean asks you as you grab a duffle bag and start packing it hurriedly.
"Everything's fine Dean." You lie as you pull something from your bag and set it on the counter.
"Are you sure?" Dean double checks, staring at you warily. You zip up your bag and sling it over your shoulder as you make your way towards the door. You're hoping that you can make a quick getaway, but just as you open the door you're met by Sam's hazel eyes gazing down at you.
"Please don't do this. We can fix this together. It doesn't just have to be you against your problems. I can help you Y/N." Sam says, drawing Dean's attention to the unknown situation.
"I don't want you to get into this Sam. It's for your own good. If those people who hold my contract find out that I'm camping out with the Winchesters then they're coming in for all our heads. I can let you get hurt because o-" "Contract?" Sam interrupts. "You made a deal?" Sam's voice wavers as he says this. Almost as if those words bear too much a burden for him to even speak. Dean's eyes widen in surprise.
"You made a deal?!" Dean questions, purely shocked. The whole room is eerily silent until you respond.
"I made a deal." You confess, hanging your head in effort to avoid stares from Sam and Dean.
"Son of a bitch." Dean curses under his breath, completely in awe. You feel Sam's gaze on the back of your skull and turn to face him.
"Why?" Sam says simply.
"Because I had no other choice." Your heart breaks yet again as you say this. Sam doesn't say a word, he just stands there, motionless. You take Sam's moment of venerability to slip past him and out of the motel room.
"Y/N wait!" Dean yells from inside the room. Sam stays frozen in place at the doorframe watching you, grief-stricken. Suddenly, Sam snaps out of it and chases after you, grabbing your arm, stopping you from leaving.
"Sam let go of me!" You shout, desperately trying to pull away from him.
"Stay, I'll protect you Y/N." Sam tries to reason. You sigh and stare into your hunter's glistening hazel eyes.
"Then who will protect you?" You state just before breaking loose of his hold on you and dashing to your car. Before Sam knows it you're gone.
Sam stays there for a good thirty minutes just hoping and praying that you'd come back. That you'd suddenly change your mind and would now be willing to try another plan, but you didn't show up.
"Sammy." Dean says, placing a hand on his little brother's shoulder. "Y/N left a note." Dean holds out a piece of crumpled notebook paper.
"You may want to read it." Dean suggests, patting Sam's shoulder and heading back into the motel room.
Sam,
You've always been the lucky one. Please, I'm begging you to stay out of this. Promise me you won't look for me after I leave. I don't have a lot of time left till I'm gone, and when I'm gone, promise me you won't do anything stupid to try and bring me back. You need to let me go Sam. I guess what I'm saying is goodbye. I'll always love you.
yours forever,
Y/N
Tears stain the notebook paper as Sam finishes reading it. Never would Sam get over losing you. And it killed him inside that he didn't know why you made that deal, but the truth was that you made that deal for Sam. You made that deal to protect Sam and many others from dangers that they'd never even know of, because outside of your hunting life with the Winchesters you were smack dab in the middle of a battle between heaven and hell. The war over you.
