Often times I wonder if happiness will ever be permanent
Of course nothing is permanent,
But in the depths of my despair
These questions encircle my thoughts
I wonder, why I never listen to the signs
I wonder why I request assistance from divine powers
And still go against their Word
I wonder if I will ever achieve the house of happiness
Of the joys of new friendships
I often cry alone in my room
Because something doesn't feel right
There is a hollowness in my soul
A bareness in my chest
That I cannot condone
I want to scream
I want to cry
I want to declare this bittersweet agony
I don't want anyone to see me
I want to sleep
I ask myself, how can I keep my distance from something that gives me such joy?
How can I sheild myself from the fire
Even when I want to get burned?
I often wonder what love is
I wonder how deep it feels, or how endearing it is
Or if sometime in the future I will feel romantic love
As I look into his eyes
A sort of epiphany comes over me
It's bittersweet
Bittersweet agony
It makes sense
But it's deadly
I ask myself again
Is he really for me?
All the roads point to no, all the signs are tired of convincing me
But I just can't let him go
I don't want to avoid him
I don't want to just go home
I don't want to not have fun
But it's all a buildup
It's fun then crush
And soon pain will start seeping in
But is it really worth it to pretend he doesn't exist?
How excruciating it is to even think about it
I often wonder if I have time
I wonder if everything I experience is worthless
Or ridiculous
I wonder if one day in the future these young memories will escape me
I wonder if they really mean anything
I hate to be apathetic
But lying kills faster than poison
So I must utter truth and speak of only honesty
So that maybe my fears can run away from me
I wonder,
As I stare at the sky
Why, why, why
Does it happen to me
Why can't I be happy?
I wonder why I must always endure this bittersweet agony.
"To stay is to endanger the future, to leave -even for a little while - is to secure the present,"
"Pain is a mocking little thing; I don't like it,"
"Never fall for anyone. If you do, you will have to pick yourself back up again anyways."
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The Spiral
PoetryA deep dive into thoughts about the universe, life, emotions and more, down an endless poetic(and sometimes not poetic) spiral. We follow various characters.
