The Spiral

from the depths of despair

*(this could make you feel very sad. Please, especially if you are having such a good day, don't read this, it ain't worth it)*

Hope always comes in the sweetest form.

These words are forever tattooed across the walls of my mind as I eye the clock.
Tick! tock! Tick! Tock!

Never bottle up your emotions, they can brew into a storm.

I relive the events of today, sighing deeply, trying to retrieve some air from my lungs.
They are deflated, riddled with bloody holes
It should be impossible to breathe, it's impossible, and I know.
The clock echoes on:
Tick! Tock! Tick! Tock!
Another breath is wasted, it escapes into the void almost bitterly.
I start to mumble melodies and spew our harmonies in hopes that the emptiness inside me can be washed away with joy.
I'm wrong.

Go tell somebody, before you go home!

I hear my thoughts slink into my space, sinking their noxious fumes into my nostrils, laughing vigorously as I swallow their scent.
My eyes drift to the walls once more.
They are transparent, except from the scratchy inky phrases of course.
I hear Peace taunting me from the other room.
Yes, there is another room.
I can hear it struggling to meet me, struggling in it's chains, rattling it's pretty head around and popping it's veins.
It's so close, I think to myself, but my hand knows better than to reach for it,
My mind knows better.
And still, the clock repeats:
Tick! Tock!  Tick! Tock!!
Except now, it's screaming.
And the words come to me:

Soon you will have no one, and be alone.

I should be alarmed, infact I am slightly; my arm twitches enthusiastically, my mouth breaks from it's clay based prison, but at the same time, I know this cycle.
'I'm fine.'
'I haven't let this get to me, and I won't.'
I feel the water beneath me rise to my chin.

This is all you fault, this you know.

I weep as I feel my lungs flatten.
My mouth cries for oxygen, my body trembles, my mind is a battlefield.
The walls now watch me with frightening intensity, and my thoughts slowly spiral out of control.

Tick!! Tock!! Tick!! Tock!!

I feel the violent burn of poison seeping into my nose, and the terrifying laughs of my demons. My hands unconsciously meet my sides, holding tightly onto the belief that somehow, I could protect myself.

TICK! TOCK! TICK! TOCK!

I try to breathe.

TICK TOCK!! TICK TOCK!!

The noise is unbearable.

TICK TOCK!! TICK TOCK!!!

I'm begging for it to stop.

TICK TOCK TICK TOCK TICK TOCK!!

I clasp my ears and pray for it to stop.
I collapse to my knees and plead for it to stop.

TICK TOCK TICK TOCK TICK TOCK TICK TOCK TICK TOCK TICK TOCK TICK TOCK TICK TOCK TICK TOCK TICK TOCK TICK TOCK TICK TOCK TICK TOCK TICK TOCK TICK TOCK TICK TOCK!!!!!!!!!

'STOP I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!'

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I wake up, in the depths of my despair. I feel my heart.

TICK TOCK, TICK TOCK it goes; steady.

My body wants to stand, run, be free. My mind is chained to my bed.
I shiver and shake
I whisper for someone to help me

I pray to escape, from the depths of my despair.