Some Say (Jean Kirstein X Reader)

Chapter Two

The third hour passes by and I haven't moved since lying down. All I can do is look blankly at the ceiling of my room and let the tears roll down the sides of my face. I thought by now the sadness and exhaustion would have put me to sleep. But no matter how heavy and sore my eyes are, they just won't close.

The emptiness in my soul moves and I roll onto my side, tracing the pattern on my pillow over and over until it's ingrained in my mind. I could never imagine Erwin or Levi ever feeling or being like this. They always seem so calm and steady.

A commotion outside my door makes me sit up a little. I can hear voices on the other side of my door. One of the voices belongs to Levi and he does not sound pleased.

Rising from my bed, I move over to the door. My whole body feels heavy and it is almost tiresome moving like this. Cracking open the door a little to look out into the hallway, I find Levi with a cornered Jean. Both of their eyes snap in my direction, I probably look like a sorry sight.

"What's happening here?" I ask, my voice is raspy.

Levi doesn't back away from Jean who looks terrified. "I found him sneaking down the hallway, he was about to knock on your door."

I roll my eyes. "I told him he could come to see me if he was having trouble sleeping. Marco was his friend as well."

Levi moves away, displeased with my excuse. "Don't keep her up. She needs to sleep." He warns.

Jean nods. "Yes, Captain Levi."

Levi returns to his room and Jean darts into my room. I close the door and return to my spot on the bed. Jean sits on the floor across from me.

"Couldn't sleep?" I ask.

"I fell asleep but kept having nightmares. You?"

"I've been staring at the ceiling with no luck."

"You know, he would've had something to say about us both being this way." Jean comments.

Tears brim my eyes but I smile. "Probably joke that this is the first time we aren't arguing about something stupid."

He cracks a small laugh and leans his head against the dresser. "He always knew what to say. I think he is part of the reason why I joined the Survey Corps."

"It wasn't the appeal of being on death's front doorstep every time we go outside the wall?"

"No, actually I think it is that and having to spend time with Jaeger pretty much every day."

"I knew it!" I exclaim a little too loudly making Jean jump.

"You're really something else, you know that right?" He says with a grin.

"I am reminded every day by Levi but it's nice to hear it from you as well." A yawn escapes.

Jean gets to his feet. "I'll leave you to it."

I motion for him to sit back down as another yawn overtakes me. "Sit down, I'm enjoying your company for once."

"You must be because that's the second time you have yawned." He comes to sit on the end of the bed leaning up against the wall. "Close your eyes, I'll leave when you actually fall asleep."

My eyes start to close. "I bet you will fall asleep before I do."

"Says the girl who has her eyes shut already."

"Arguing over stupid shit again." I laugh softly.

"Go to sleep already."

A loud thumping noise comes from my door making me sit straight up. Jean is no longer here and the sun is starting to rise for the day. I wipe the sleep from my puffy eyes.

Levi swings the door open and scans the room with a glare before finally stopping on me. "So you actually got to sleep last night?"

"And I would've kept sleeping if you hadn't woken me up."

"Get dressed, we are going to Eren's hearing."

"Do I have to go or are you punishing me for something I've done?" I ask as I drag my body from the bed.

"Both, now hurry up. I can't be late."

I groan as he leaves. I'm not sure what I've done to deserve this punishment, maybe it was something to do with Jean but who knows. I pull on my uniform and meet with Levi outside.

"You look like shit." He comments as we start to walk towards the court.

A yawn escapes me. "Thank you, I call it lack of sleep and grief," I answer back.

I manage to stay awake during Eren's hearing, thanks to Armin. Levi is able to prove that he isn't a threat in the most Levi way possible. I shiver at the experience and think back to when he used to train me.

...

I stand panting, holding my ribs glaring at Levi who can barely look at me. I wipe the blood away from my nose.

"You're not listening to what I'm saying."

"I've never fought in my life, what do you expect from me? I wasn't raised like a criminal unlike you."

His head snaps in my direction. I've hit a nerve. His eyes bore holes in me as he grabs me by the front of my shirt. "What did you say, you little brat?"

"I'm not a criminal like you." I spit at him with a smile.

...

Armin elbows me in the side making me jump a little. Everyone has started to leave, Eren kneels broken and bloody. Levi has saved his ass.

Outside Levi approaches me. "I need to go and deal with the brat. Hanji wants to do some field training with you and some of the other shitheads. Please show up to that."

"Of course, anything for Hanji."

He sighs. "The only person you actually listen to and she is just as mad as you." He mutters before walking away.

I jog back to the barracks and bump into Jean. When I say bump, I mean I wasn't watching where I was going and ran straight into him. And like most of the tall people I take on, I just bounce right off him.

"Morning Jean," I say rubbing my forehead.

He gives me a meek look before responding. "Morning, how did you sleep last night?"

"Good, thanks to you. Who knows how long I would have stayed awake for if you hadn't shown up."

"Anytime, are you going to that field training?"

"Sure am but to be honest I wish I could go back to bed. Get a couple more hours of sleep. I really don't have the concentration for this."

"That makes two of us," Jean says as we make our way to the back of the barracks. "You know you talk in your sleep."

"Not that I was aware of. I don't generally fall asleep in the company of others. Did I say something last night?"

Jean shakes his head. "Not really, just gibberish. A couple of audible words."

"As long as I didn't say anything embarrassing, you'd tell me right if I did?"

"Nothing embarrassing left that mouth of yours, trust me," Jean smirks to himself. "Or I could be saving it for a rainy day."

"You're lying, Kirstein."

"You wish."

I take a swipe at him and miss. He laughs and runs off ahead of me. I groan and chase after him.

"You're going to get it when I catch up to you."

"You mean if you catch me."