Some Say (Jean Kirstein X Reader)

Chapter Ten

The gate starts to open and the anxiety builds in my stomach. The fear from the others radiates off them as I keep my head focused straight ahead. Under strict orders to follow after Hanji while Eren is to follow Levi.

The horses race out into the open and I keep pace with Hanji. I want to look back and check on Jean but I know my place.

I fought with titans just the other day but the thought of being out here as a human with only a blade as a weapon scares me half to death. Erwin, Hanji and Levi all agreed it would be best for me to avoid shifting if necessary during this mission. Their reasoning was not explained to me and I was in a place to question it.

Sitting on a bed in the infirmary, Levi, Hanji and Erwin stand before me. My missing leg and arm are slowly regenerating. Hanji had had to cut them off in a last-ditch attempt to free me from my titan.

"We are going on an exterior mission in a couple of days," Erwin announces to me.

I nod. "And, I am to come along?"

"You are but only under one condition."

"What would that be?"

"You cannot shift unless you are given the go-ahead by Levi or Hanji here. It's still too much of a greater risk while we are still trying to understand your abilities."

My brows furrow in frustration and confusion as I look between Levi and Hanji. Neither one says a thing but there is a look in their eyes that tells me to trust their judgement. I want to fight back and argue why such a stupid decision has been made without my consult first. But I hold my tongue.

"I understand and will oblige," I answer, looking out the window.

Erwin shouts his commands and we all break away. Within minutes of splitting from the rest, titans start to appear. My jaw clenches and I long to bite down on my hand.

Red flares paint the sky shortly followed by a green. Hanji points in that direction and we all follow after.

A large abnormal jumps in between Hanji and me, blocking my view from the rest of the squad. The horse rares throwing me off leaving me in the titan's sight.

Getting to my feet, I bring a shaky hand towards my mouth ready to fight. Hanji suddenly cuts through the nape of the titan landing on its back.

"That was close." She calls down to me.

Someone brings a spare horseback around to me. I hate not being in control of this situation. I could shift and easily kill off any advancing titans. I could prevent unnecessary death.

Catching up beside Hanji, I call out to her. "I don't know how long I can do this for."

She keeps her sights focused ahead. "I need you to follow orders. You're not alone out here, we have each other's backs."

I swallow my pride and fear. "Don't make me regret this choice," I answer sharply.

She spares me a quick glance, her eyes filled with uncertainty.

We reach the edge of the Forest of Giant Trees where Hanji stops the whole squad. Erwin reaches us and gives me a relieved look before addressing everyone else.

"We need to hurry to the meeting spot, make sure everything is in place." He announces. "(y/n) stay back here, others will be joining you soon. We need to keep titans out of the forest."

"Yes, Commander," I answer.

They advance into the forest, Hanji stops beside me.

"This is where we leave it up to your judgement. If you feel you need to shift then do so but if we can avoid it, that is the plan. Good luck." She says before following after the others.